Killer Intuition

The Mechanism Behind Myasthenia

2010-04-20T00:42:00.002-04:00

Myasthenia gravis is an autoimmune disease, meaning that it develops from within the body’s own defense system. In fact, due to remarkable advances over the past 25 years, it is the best understood of all the autoimmune diseases. In this type of condition, a person’s immune system, which normally fights germs and other invaders, produces antibodies that attack his or her own cells. Myasthenia gravis results when the body’s defenses mistakenly produce antibodies that attack the acetylcholine receptors on skeletal (voluntary) muscles.

To understand how myasthenia causes problems, we must start with how nerves and muscles interact. To move any muscle—to breathe, swallow, speak, smile, or look in any direction—your nerves must transmit a signal to that muscle. An electrical impulse traveling down the motor nerve releases the neurotransmitter acetylcholine. The muscle receives this chemical signal in a specialized area, below the nerve, that is tightly packed with acetylcholine receptors. When the acetylcholine released from the nerve combines with the receptor on the muscle, a new electrical impulse is initiated within the muscle, which causes the muscle to contract.

If something interferes with the signal’s transmission from nerve to muscle, the result is weakness and fatigue. In myasthenia, the problem is that antibodies attack the acetylcholine receptors, leaving too few of them available to receive the signal. The brain itself is not involved in myasthenia gravis, and the body’s mechanisms for initiating movement at the level of the brain and spinal cord are intact. Even the peripheral nerves remain healthy. Only the acetylcholine receptors on the skeletal muscles are abnormal.

As we have learned more about myasthenia gravis, we have come to recognize it in more people. About 1 in every 7,000 individuals has the condition, and the rate may even be three times that. Females often develop it in their teens and twenties, while in men it usually appears in the fifth to eighth decades. However, myasthenia can occur at any age.

Why some people’s immune systems erroneously attack their acetylcholine receptors is not clear. The answer in many cases seems to be related to the thymus gland, a lymph gland located under the breastbone that serves its main function during early development. About three quarters of all people with myasthenia have abnormalities of the thymus gland. Eighty-five percent of these show evidence of overactivity (hyperplasia) of the gland, and the other 15 percent have tumors there. We therefore suspect that the immune system’s error may originate in the thymus gland.

Myasthenia may also occur in association with other autoimmune diseases, such as thyroiditis, lupus, and certain blood diseases. This suggests a more generalized error by the immune system in distinguishing between “self,” which should not be attacked, and “nonself,” which could represent a threat.

It is rare for myasthenia to be inherited. However, similar disorders of nerve-to-muscle transmission do have a genetic component. These are termed congenital myasthenic syndromes, and they are extremely rare.

CONSERVING ENERGY IN MYASTHENIA GRAVIS

2010-04-20T00:36:00.000-04:00

Many things can exacerbate myasthenic weakness temporarily, including infections (such as a cold, pneumonia, or even a tooth abscess), fever, excessive heat or cold, overexertion, and emotional stress. Here are some everyday tips on how to conserve energy.

■ Don’t stand when you can sit.

■ Plan all activities and eliminate extra steps; assemble all the necessary equipment before beginning. Don’t be embarrassed to ask for help.

■ Use a cart, wagon, or basket to carry several things from one part of the house to another, eliminating unnecessary trips back and forth.

■ To ease difficulty getting up from a sitting position, try leg extenders to elevate chairs.

■ Try a shoulder pad or intercom phone to completely free your hands when talking on the phone.

■ Avoid hot and cold weather extremes; they exaggerate weakness.

■ Try an electric toothbrush and toothpaste pump to conserve hand strength.

Adapted from www.myasthenia.org

Two Weeks Later

2010-04-20T00:05:00.002-04:00

I feel a lot better than I did when I was admitted.
I have my strength back, I am able to move around more so I can say for now I am pretty happy.
Still having a "okay now what am I going to do with my life" moment. I have been taking photography classes for a few weeks now, I actually started before I went to the hospital. I am really enjoying it, I only get concerned about the future, when it is time for me to shot someone, since the MG has a mind of its own, how do I know when to set an appointment and when not?

I have searched different ways to "conserve energy" and things of that sore, yet I am still a bit nervous. But, I have faith in myself and I will not let this keep me from my dreams.
If you have not seen any of my work yet I have a photo blog and I am also on flickr. The links are below:

Eart Air Fire Water Art <---Photo Blog
Flickr <----------------------Add me!

Treatments for Myasthenia Gravis

2010-04-06T15:31:00.000-04:00

Myasthenia Gravis (MG) is no longer considered a fatal disease. Most myasthenics, with the help of either drugs and/or surgery, lead near-normal lives.

However, there is no standard therapy for all myasthenics and there is still much to learn about MG - how it is diagnosed and how it is treated. As is usual with all things myasthenic, the success of one treatment over another is really dependant on the patient. What works for one person, may not work at all for another. And what works for one body part in a patient, may not work for another body part. A doctor may experiment with various therapies and prescription levels to achieve relief from myasthenic symptoms for the patient.

There is no one recipe for all situations, so the choice of treatment for an individual patient requires judgment and experience. Patients and their doctors are often required to make decisions even when the evidence is inconclusive. Patients need all the support which doctors, family and friends can offer.

Normally a neurologist is engaged for diagnosis and management of the disease. It would be helpful if the neurologist has extensive knowledge and experience in the management of MG (with the incidence of MG in only 1 person for at least every 10,000 people, it is highly likely that a number of neurologists have had little experience with this condition).

Current therapies for MG include:

1. Anticholinesterase Therapy - an attempt to strengthen neuromuscular transmission with the use of drugs such as pyridostigmine bromide (Mestinon, Mestinon extended-release) and neostigmine (Prostigmin).
2. Immunosuppressant Therapy - Prednisone; azathioprine (Imuran); cyclophosphamide (Cytoxan); cyclosporine (Sandimmune); mycophenolate mofetil (CellCept).
3. Plasma Exchange - Plasmapheresis
4. Intravenous Immune Globin
5. Thymus & Thymectomy
6. Other Therapies - atropine; pro-banthine; ephedrine

Hopefully, the neurologist will explain the various forms of treatment to the patient, and suggest the best way forward. There are advantages and disadvantages to each type of therapy, and the impact of the therapy could affect one's ability to cope with the condition and such things as self image. Some factors to consider are:

- the patient's current condition - for example, therapy for somebody in a myasthenic crisis such as breathing difficulties would be different to that for droopy eye lids.
- the patient's reaction to the therapy - some medications may cause undesirable side effects such as nausea, dizziness and stomach pains and so could not be tolerated over long periods.
- the effect of the therapy on the patient's ability to carry on with daily activities eg plasmapheresis requires hospital visits; thymectomy requires several weeks rest after surgery which could have an impact on income and ability to work.
- cosmetic implications - some therapies not only deal with the myasthenia, they will have other physical impacts - a thymectomy will leave the body scarred, some medications may cause bloating, or affect appetite.

Normally, the first treatment step is medication. There is no cure for MG, and so the drugs used to combat MG merely provide temporary assistance to help the body function normally. Additionally, the danger of using any drug is that the body may become tolerant of it over time, and so the drug becomes less effective. The choice is then to move to a stronger drug or to a different form of therapy, such as a thymectomy, which offers long term management of the condition.

In under 20% of myasthenics, MG goes into spontaneous remission which lasts longer than a year. No one knows why MG fluctuates or why natural remissions occur.

Anticholinesterase Therapy (Mestinon, Prostigmin, Mytelase)

Anticholinesterase drugs include:

- pyridostigmine (brand-name "Mestinon")
- neostigmine (brand-name "Prostigmin")
- ambenonium chloride (brand-name "Mytelase")

We described the functioning of the muscle in the section What Causes Myasthenia Gravis. You might recall that for a muscle to contract, the nerve sends a message to the muscle through a neurotransmitter substance called acetylcholine (ACh). The nerve end releases a large amount of ACh, which travels through the neuromuscular junction (NMJ) (the gap between the nerve and the muscle) and binds to a receptor on the muscle membrane. In MG, the attacking antibodies bind to the muscle's membrane and initiate a series of events that destroy the membrane and prevent ACh from binding. If ACh cannot bind to the muscle, the muscle does not receive the message from the nerve and will not contract.

Anticholinesterase drugs boost the body's ACh by blocking the enzyme which usually breaks down ACh. This allows the build up of ACh to concentrate at the at the muscle receptor, which is where it is needed to transmit messages from the nerves to the muscles, and its effect is prolonged.

The most commonly used anticholinesterase is "Mestinon". This comes in 60 milligram (mg) or 10 mg tablets and is released immediately. “Mestinon TimeSpan" is a 180 mg tablet in which 60 milligrams is released immediately and the remaining 120 milligrams are released over several hours. TimeSpan is usually prescribed for patients who require medication throughout the night (this allows for comfortable, uninterrupted sleep and reasonable strength in the morning). Timespan's uneven release provides less predictable results than with ordinary Mestinon and is usually not recommended for day time use, but some myasthenics prefer taking it. Liquid "Mestinon" syrup is for children and for adults who have trouble swallowing pills.

There are no fixed dose or time schedules for anticholinesterases as muscle involvement and severity vary so much among myasthenics. An increase in muscle strength is usually noticeable within 20 to 40 minutes after taking the medication, and they produce their maximal effects about one to two hours after ingestion (although muscle strength rarely returns to normal). The effects start wearing off after three or four hours. The medication must be taken at regular intervals so that muscle strength is maintained throughout the day. For those myasthenics who have trouble chewing or swallowing, it is best to take medication at a time that will produce optimal strength during meals.

The need for anticholinesterases varies from day-to-day, and during the same day in response to infection, menstruation, emotional stress, and hot weather. Different muscles respond differently; with any dose, certain muscles get stronger, others do not change, and still others become weaker. A "brittle myasthenic" may be adequately medicated during one 3 to 4 hour period and over-dosed with the same dose in the next 3 to 4 hour period. Medication dosage may require frequent adjustment according to one's response to the drug and to hourly/daily activity level.

Anticholinesterases are the gentlest of the drugs available to treat MG. However, some people do experience side effects, including:

- stomach cramps
- queasiness and nausea
- gut hyperactivity and diarrhea
- vomiting
- increased perspiration
- increased salivation
- muscle twitching and muscle cramps
- palpitations
- increased urinary frequency
- the muscle controlling the pupil of the eye is also affected, and there may be difficulty in focusing
- there are Acetylcholine receptors in the heart and so Mestinon may cause a very slow heart beat, which can, in turn, cause dizziness.

The presence of these symptoms may be a sign of taking too much medication, in which case the medication should be taken at longer intervals or in lesser amount. Other symptoms of overdose could include the worsening of generalized weakness, swallowing difficulties and respiratory failure (in which case a doctor should be contacted immediately). The myasthenic who is prescribed large daily dosage of anticholinesterase and suffering severe side effects or a worsening of their condition should question their doctor about their therapy.

To lessen the side effects, the drug can be taken with bland foods such as crackers and milk. If the unwanted side effects are particularly intense, they can be prevented or reduced by simultaneously taking other drugs - either anticholinergics (atropine) and hydrozyzine (Vistaril). It is also important to emphasise that all the unwanted effects of Pyridostigmine are short-lasting, and that it does not cause any permanent or long-term problems.

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Immunosuppressant Therapy

As the name suggests, immunosuppressant drug therapy attempts to suppress the body's immune system, although no one really knows how they work in MG. They are commonly called steroids (those used for MG are properly known as corticosteriods, not the anabolic steroids used by sports people). Steroids and other immunosuppressive drugs are often very effective in producing remission of symptoms.

The immune system produces antibodies to fights against foreign bacteria and viruses. In illnesses such as MG, the antibodies become overactive and start attacking the body's tissues. Immunosuppressive drugs suppresses the production of antibodies to stabilize an overactive immune system. In MG, it is the ACh receptor antibodies that are suppressed, therefore allowing the receptors to regenerate and function in neuromuscular transmission. Hence, there is a return of muscle strength.

In the use of immunosuppressants, the best responses occur in patients with recent onset of symptoms, but patients with chronic disease may also respond. The severity of disease does not predict the ultimate improvement.

In decreasing order of their frequency of use in MG, they are:

- prednisone
- azathioprine ("Imuran")
- cyclophosphamide ("Cytoxan") and
- cyclosporine ("Sandimmune").

Except for prednisone, none of these drugs is endorsed by its manufacturer specifically for treatment of MG.

Unfortunately these drugs can make it harder for the body to fight infection, and can also have serious effects, especially after prolonged use.

Prednisone
Prednisone is a synthetic drug which resembles natural hormones produced by the cortex of human adrenal glands, and is used to treat many illnesses. The body depends upon these hormones, called corticosteroids or "steroids," during stress.
Unique to MG is the possibility of increasing weakness during the first two weeks of prednisone therapy, which requires close medical supervision when first administered. Some doctors try to avoid this initial weakening by starting with a low dose of prednisone and gradually working up to a recommended amount of 50 to 60 milligrams every day for several months. Onset of improvement in muscle strength usually occurs within 2 weeks but may take as long as 2 months. Marked improvement or complete relief of symptoms occurs in more than 75% of patients treated with prednisone.
When prednisone is taken in doses higher than 20 milligrams daily for longer than a week, the body's natural production of adrenal hormones begins to decrease. This is called "adrenal suppression," and is an undesirable but inevitable effect of taking high doses of a synthetic steroid. Once this occurs, prednisone cannot be stopped all at once but must be slowly tapered down over several months to give the adrenal glands a chance to "wake up" and begin producing natural adrenal hormones again.
Prednisone has a great many potential undesirable effects, usually related to dose and duration of drug use. In order to lessen the chance of undesirable effects, a gradual transition to alternate-day therapy is made after about two months of daily therapy, so that eventually twice the usual dose is given every other day for several more months. As soon as is feasible (3 to 12 months), the drug is very slowly tapered over many months to a long-term maintenance dosage (around 5 to 10 milligrams every other day) sufficient enough to keep myasthenic symptoms at bay. The choice of prednisone therapy is thus a long-term commitment lasting several years.
30% of myasthenics on high-dose prednisone therapy experience a drug-dependent symptom-free remission, and another 50% obtain marked improvement. However, 25% of patients also experience serious complications from this drug.
The side effects of using Prednisone (and any other steroid) are:
- Risk of developing osteoporosis - this is probably the most serious long-term effect. It results in thinning and consequently in weakening of bones and particularly those of the spine and the pelvis. The effect is worse in those who are already at risk of thinning of their bones such as the elderly or women past the age of childbearing. Exercise, particularly weight-bearing exercise such as walking and aerobics, is highly recommended (although some myasthenics may find this difficult). Diet should be high in calcium, protein and Vitamin D. There are now also available drugs (such as etidronate) which are being used successfully to treat bone thinning.
- Increased susceptibility to diabetes - steroids make the body less capable of dealing with glucose and other sugars, which affects diabetic patients. It may also induce mild diabetes in patients who didn't previously have it. Strict dietary control may be necessary to counter this side effect.
- Thinning of skin and wasting of muscles - steroids tend to break down body tissues, and deplete them of protein. This can be counteracted by strenuous exercises, which again may be difficult for people with MG. Thinning of the skin leads to it being easily cut or broken, delayed healing of wounds, and also to increased susceptibility to the affects of sunlight.
- Increased risk in developing glaucoma and lens.
- Irritation of stomach lining and gullet causing indigestion, increased acid in the stomach and possibly ulcers.
- Sodium and water retention, causing some puffiness or swelling
Other side effects include:
- mood changes and insomnia
- increased appetite and weight gain
- decreased resistance to infection
- high blood pressure
- increased sweating, especially at night
- increased hair growth
- acne on the face, back, and chest
- thrush (Candida) growth in the mouth
Patients on prednisone should:
- watch their weight
- keep as active as possible
- eat a balanced diet (high in protein, calcium and potassium but low in salt, free sugar and fat)
- stay out of crowds in enclosed areas (to avoid people with infections)
- see their doctors regularly.
Azathioprine (brand-name Imuran)
Imuran also suppresses the production of ACh receptor antibodies. It is used an alternative to prednisone where the patient either cannot tolerate prednisone or does not respond to it. Others respond better to treatment with both drugs than to either alone. In some patients, imuran is used as an aid to decreasing the dosage of prednisone.
The beneficial effects of Imuran seem to take months to occur, and often emerge so slowly and subtly that they are apparent only in retrospect. Because the response to Imuran is delayed, both prednisone and imuran may be started simultaneously with the intent of rapidly tapering prednisone when Imuran becomes effective. If Imuran is working, after about 3 to 12 months (or even longer in some patients), the myasthenic should notice a gradual improvement in how they feel. This improvement can be measured clinically by:
- Decrease in the number or severity of symptoms
- Need for less prednisone or Mestinon
- Need for less frequent plasmapheresis treatments
- Lower AChR antibody titer
Remissions which occur on Imuran are drug-dependent. Imuran is a long term treatment and a patient may have to stay on this medication indefinitely. Once improvement begins, it is maintained for as long as the drug is given, but MG symptoms recur 2 to 3 months after the drug is discontinued or the dose is reduced below therapeutic levels.
As with any immunosuppressive drug, it is important that the patient take Imuran exactly as prescribed by their doctor.
The undesirable effects of Imuran are less varied than those of prednisone but they can be very serious:
- Some people have a hypersensitivity or allergy to Imuran and develop fever, chills, joint and muscle pains, vomiting and dizziness. This usually occurs soon after commencement of treatment. When this unwanted reaction occurs, treatment must be stopped and cannot usually be restarted.
- Women who may want to have children should avoid this drug, because it has a known potential for producing fetal deformities.
- Imuran depresses the formation of new blood cells, just as it depresses antibody forming cells. It is therefore necessary to have complete blood counts of red and white cells frequently at the start of treatment, and three to four times a year once treatment is established. If the count drops significantly, it may be necessary to stop treatment temporarily.
- Liver function may be upset by Imuran. This can be monitored by blood tests. The effects are reversible on stopping treatment or reducing the dose.
- Susceptibility to infection - as Imuran depresses immunity, it increases susceptibility to infections. Special care must be taken to avoid contact with shingles and chicken pox which are much more severe in patients with lowered immunity.
- There is still much to learn about Imuran, including answers to such worrisome questions as whether it may increase the risk for cancer many years later. This is the most controversial, unwanted effect of Imuran. There are reports of an increased frequency of tumours mainly of the lymph glands in patients with rheumatoid arthritis taking Imuran. The sort of tumours that occurred in these patients were those that respond well to treatment once Imuran is stopped. However, a more recent report in 755 patients taking Imuran for bowel disease and who were followed for up to 29 years found no increase in the number of tumours of any sort. There are no comparable figures for MG Patients, but, on the basis of current knowledge, there is little cause for alarm.
Approximately one-third of patients have mild dose-dependent side effects that may require dose reductions but do not require stopping treatment.
Imuran is generally tolerated without serious adverse effects. The patient should check with the doctor immediately if any of the following occur:
- Nausea and vomiting
- Fever or chills
- Loss of appetite
- Upset stomach
- Skin rash
- Diarrhea
- Cough or shortness of breath
- Cold sores in the mouth or on the lips
- Blood in the urine or stool
- Unusual bruising
- Fatigue
- Missed menstrual period
- Yellowing of the eyes and skin
- Hair loss
- Muscle or joint pain
- Darkening of the skin and fingernails

More information about Imuran can be found at: www.gsk.com.au/gskinternet/publishing.nsf/Content/Imuran

Cyclophosphamide (brand-name Cytoxan)
Cytoxan is considered only for the most severe cases of MG when other therapies have failed. It is used either intravenously and orally for the treatment of MG.
Whilst experience from the Philippines reports good results with complete drug-free remission for a year and a half in three out of four MG patients who were treated with Cytoxan, the side effects are common and can be quite serious. They include:
- hair loss (almost universal occurrence on the drug)
- risk of bladder hemorrhage and bladder cancer.
These effects may be reduced by having the drug taken intravenously or orally once a week instead of daily. This drug usually requires the assistance of a rheumatologist or oncologist who is more familiar with it than are most neurologists.
Cyclosporine (brand-name Sandimmune)
Sandimmue is an immunosuppresion used during organ transplantation, and could be of benefit to myasthenics in reducing the dose of prednisone. A preliminary study without prednisone suggested that such a dose of cyclosporine could produce significant improvement in some MG patients if they could tolerate the side effects of this medication, the most prominent of which are elevated blood pressure, headaches, and increased body hair.
Most patients with MG improve 1 to 2 months after starting cyclosporine and improvement is maintained as long as therapeutic doses are given. Maximum improvement is achieved 6 months or longer after starting treatment. After achieving the maximal response, the dose is gradually reduced to the minimum that maintains improvement.
Adverse effects of this medication include:
- renal toxicity
- hypertension
- many drugs interfere with Sandimmune metabolism and should be avoided or used with caution.

Mycophenolate Mofetil (CellCept)
CellCept is a relatively new immunosuppressive drug that was originally developed to prevent immune rejection of transplanted organs. Whilst its treatment of MG is still being investigated, it appears that it may be of assistance to myasthenics who have found prednisone and other immunosuppressive drugs ineffective.
In a pilot trial conducted by Dr Donald Sanders (director of the MDA clinic at Duke University in Durham, N.C.), 8 out of 12 patients on CellCept for several months gained strength or were able to reduce their need for prednisone. In another study, 92 patients in Chicago were prescribed the drug for 3 to 45 months. Improvement was seen in 67 of these patients, including 5 who went into complete remission (http://www.mdausa.org/news/030404mg.html).
The advantage of CellCept over other immunosuppressant drugs is reported to have more rapid onset and fewer side effects. The drug has been reported to cause birth defects in animals, and so women of child bearing age should avoid getting pregnant whilst on the drug as the effect on unborn babies is unknown).
A pamphlet on CellCept can be found on the websdite of The Myasthenia Gravis Foundation of America (MGFA) at http://www.myasthenia.org/information/CellCept.pdf

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Plasma Exchange (plasmapheresis)

Plasmapheresis is a blood purification procedure used to treat several autoimmune diseases. It involves the exchange of the blood plasma which contains antibodies and other substances that interfere with the transmission of nerve impulses and replacement with fresh or artificial plasma.

The need for plasma exchange, and its frequency of use is determined by the response in the individual patient. The procedure is expensive, time consuming and not totally risk free, and is not meant for long-term treatment. So why is it used?

1. To stabilise the condition of patients in myasthenic crisis where the condition is life threatening.
2. To reduce moderate to severe muscle weakness before thymectomy.
3. Some myasthenics do not respond sufficiently to more traditional forms of treatments, and so plasmapheresis offers their only relief from near paralysis and life-threatening respiratory problems.

The course of the exchange normally involves six to ten exchange treatments over two to ten weeks. To access blood, one tube is inserted into a large vein (possibly in the crook of the arm), and another placed in the opposite arm or foot. Around 3 to 4 litres of blood (depending on one's body weight) is removed from the first tube. The blood passes through a blood separator, which works in one of two ways - either by spinning the blood at high speed to separate the cells from the fluid; or by passing the blood through a membrane with pores so small that only the fluid part of the blood can pass through. The plasma, which contains the antibodies, is discarded. The red blood cells are returned in artificial plasma (albumin and saline solution) via the second tube. Anticoagulant is added to the blood to keep it from clotting, but most of the anti-clotting agent is removed prior to returning the blood to the patient. Treatment, which can be uncomfortable, but is not painful, can take 2 to 5 hours. The patient lies down only during treatment but is able to walk around before and after treatment.

Maximum improvement may be reached as early as after the first exchange or as late as the fourteenth, but exchanges do not have a cumulative benefit.

The following difficulties may arise during the procedure:

1. Sometimes it is not possible to achieve adequate blood flow from veins in the arms. Therefore, alternative blood access, which might involve some minor surgery, will be necessary.
2. Although the latest technology blood cell separators remove only a small portion of blood from the patient at any one time, the changes in blood volume or the type of replacement fluid utilized my make some patients feel dizzy or lightheaded. Patients should immediately tell the medical staff if they begin to feel uncomfortable or if they suffer numbness, tingling associated with the mouth, eyes, fingers or toes and leg cramps, dizziness and mental confusion (all of which may indicate a low blood calcium or potassium level). Tiredness usually occurs after treatment.
3. The anticoagulant used to keep the blood from clotting and certain types of replacement fluids might cause a patient to notice a sour taste in the mouth, tingling around the lips, or sharp pains, like pins being stuck in the fingers or toes. Patients should immediately tell the medical staff if they have any of these symptoms.
4. The procedure isn't selective about which antibodies it removes, and so it may result in excessive suppression of the immune system. The body can replenish anti bodies in time, but day patients may have to take special precautions against infection.
5. Patients with clotting disorders may not be suitable for this sort of procedure.

Plasmapheresis does not cure MG - it only temporarily reduces the level of circuiting antibodies that attack the neuromuscular junction. It does not prevent the production of more antibodies, and usually the patient is given medication to help combat the condition.

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Intravenous Immune Globin

Intravenous immune globin (IVIG) is the opposite of plasmapheresis - instead of drawing off the offending antibodies, IVIG swamps the body with pooled gamma globulin antibodies from many donors.

The process does not require special equipment, and the usual dose is small (eg 400 mg per kilogram per day infused for five successive days). Whilst the mechanism of action remains unknown, IVIG is thought to have a nonspecific suppressive effect upon the production of antibody by the immune system. It produces rapid improvement to help patient through a difficult period of myasthenic weakness. In patients who respond, improvement begins within four or five days, and may be sustained for weeks to months.

The process is quite expensive, and like plasmapheresis, the treatment is short term. As with plasmapheresis, its use is really limited to critical patients or those who are not responding to traditional treatments. It should be noted that there is a theoretical risk of transmission of blood born infections, although this has not happened now for some years.

Adverse reaction occur in fewer than 10 percent of patients. Symptoms include headache, fluid overload, and in rare cases, renal failure. Plenty of fluids should accompany the treatments to minimize the severe headache which can occur.

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Thymus & Thymectomy

It is accepted that there is a connection between the thymus and Myasthenia Gravis (MG) but the reason for the connection is not fully understood.

The thymus gland is an organ involved in the development of the immune system. It is located in the upper chest under the breastbone and is composed of many small lobes. During the formation of the fetus, the thymus migrates from the neck into the chest, and in adults it lies beneath the breastbone (sternum). Like tonsils and adenoids, the thymus is large in infants and gets smaller, to be replaced by fat, as we get older, making it hardly functional.

The myasthenic adult has thymic abnormalities. The thymus could be enlarged (as seen by CT scan) or it can contain more cells than normal (as seen under the microscope) - this is called hyperplasia and is often seen in myasthenics of many years standing.

Around 10% to 15% of myasthenics have tumours, called thymomas, which are usually relatively benign, but may become malignant. Thymomas are normally removed as soon as possible to prevent local spread (although, only around 30 to 50% of people with thymomas also have MG - and in some, MG develops after they have their thymectomy!). The risk of development of thymoma has led to thymectomy as well for MG patients without thymoma. (For more information on THYMOMAS, go to the Myasthenia Gravis Association UK website [http://www.mgauk.org/]. There are two excellent papers by Dr Nick Willcox of the Institute of Molecular Medicine , University of Oxford on The Mysteries of Thymoma and MG.)

If most of the thymus gland is removed at surgery, myasthenic symptoms usually lessen and in some individuals go away completely. Although the relation of the thymus glad to myasthenia gravis is not totally understood, it appears that the thymus gland is linked to the production of acetylcholine receptor antibodies or other substances that interfere with neuromuscular transmission.

A thymectomy is the removal of the thymus gland by surgery. The goal of thymectomy as a treatment for MG is to induce remission, or at least improvement, permitting a reduction in immunosuppressive medication. Remission is the complete elimination of symptoms without medication.

Drug therapy, plasmapheresis and IVIG are short term treatments and do not completely relieve the symptoms of MG. They are beneficial, but in some patients may not be sufficient to allow the patient to return to full activity. Eventually the myasthenic with more than just mild disease, must decide on what to do next to attempt long term remission. This is especially true for patients with serious trouble swallowing or breathing, for whom long-term treatments may protect against rapid deterioration of these functions.

Most neurologists will therefore advocate thymectomy as the next step for the management of the condition - particularly for patients with generalised MG. Factors influencing the decision may include:

- age
- duration of the disease
- severity of the disease
- response to medication
- allergies
- cosmetic considerations.

In 1937, Dr. Alfred Blalock removed the thymus of a myasthenic patient when the thymus was found to have a tumour. He discovered that the symptoms of MG in the patient showed improvement. Since that time, thymectomy has been used as a normal course of treatment for myasthenics around the world, although the precise reason why it is beneficial is still not known.

In the past, it was thought that thymectomy would not benefit older patients (over 45 years old), or people who have had the disease for over 5 years. Yet some older patients and some long-standing MG patients have benefited from thymectomy, so now the recommendation for this procedure has to be considered on an individual basis. Although, there is uncertainty about the persistence of thymic tissue in such patients after the age of 60.

After a thymectomy, remission or marked improvement occurs in more than half of cases. Those who had thymomas do not usually improve as much as in young myasthenics without a thymoma.

Access to the thymus can be gained either by:

1. transsternal thymectomy - the incision is made length-wise on the chest and the breastbone (sternum) is split open; or
2. transcervical thymectomy where access is gained through the neck.

There are advantages and disadvantages to each approach. The splitting of the sternum is more traumatic than surgery through the neck, and the recovery time is longer, but it is more common because it more thorough allowing easier identification and removal of all thymic tissue (some doctors believe that leaving any remnant of thymic tissue in the body will increase the likelihood of the procedure failing).

About 30% of MG patients without a thymoma who undergo thymectomy eventually go into complete drug-free remission, and another 50% experience marked improvement. This improvement usually does not occur immediately after surgery, but may take up to several months or years to reach its peak effect. You cannot predict beforehand who will benefit from thymectomy, and even after benefit occurs there is still a small possibility of subsequent relapse. However, thymectomy itself rarely worsens the long-term course of MG.

Even invasive thymomas are not always detected with imaging tests and have been discovered during thymectomy surgery. Such experiences would argue in favor of eventual thymectomy over immunosuppressive drug therapy in otherwise healthy young or middle-aged MG patients, once the patient is up to the surgery. The possibility of an eventually complete symptom-free remission after thymectomy without the need to take any drugs, compared to a remission dependent upon the continued treatment with immunosuppressive drugs, is another significant advantage of thymectomy.

It is normally preferred that children wait until puberty before undertaking thymectomy because of the established role of the thymus in development of the immune system.

The process for a thymectomy is as follows:

1. An x-ray is taken of the patient's chest to determine the location of the thymus and to determine the existence of a thymoma.
2. An anesthetist will consult the patient about the anesthesia plan - how the patient will be put to sleep, the use of any special drugs that will be needed to help the patient relax before surgery, and how the patient will generally feel after surgery. It is important that the patient tell the anesthetist about any allergies or reactions to any foods or medicines.
3. Food and fluids will be withheld after midnight, or on the day of surgery. Routine medication for Myasthenia may or may not be given.
4. On the morning of surgery, a pre-operative medicine may be given by injection. This medication can cause relaxation, drowsiness, and dryness of the mouth.
5. After surgery, a one to three hour stay in the recovery room is required. The patient will then be transferred to Intensive Care Unit for 12 to 24 hours to ensure that everything is proceeding normally. In this phase of the recovery, fluids and medication will be given by means of a needle in the vein called an intravenous, or I.V. They will then be transferred back to their ward. Very occasionally if the patient has some breathing difficulties he or she may temporarily be connected to a ventilator so as to ease this problem.
6. Once fluids are tolerated by the mouth, the intravenous fluids will be stopped. Solid foods will be started slowly, and the patient's medication will once more be given by mouth. If progress is maintained, the patient will probably be allowed home in 7 days (although length of stay in the hospital varies for each patient).
7. Most patients complain of some chest soreness and pain after surgery. This can be lessened with pain medication. At intervals, the patient will be asked to do coughing and deep breathing exercises to clear the lungs of mucus. This does cause discomfort which can be lessened by hugging a pillow and supporting the chest while coughing. Pain medication can be taken prior to any activity or exercise to alleviate after-surgery discomfort.
8. The recovery period away from work varies. Most patients take 4 - 6 weeks off work for convalescence. Those with jobs which require heavy lifting or any strain on the chest may need a longer recovery time so that the chest is more fully healed before starting work. The patient should discuss this with the surgeon prior to the surgery in order to plan the recovery time.

After surgery there may be an increase in muscle weakness in some patients. However, treatment will be adjusted to meet individual needs.

Thymectomy may lessen the severity of the myasthenic symptoms; however, the degree to which the symptoms are lessened differs in each patient. The mechanism by which thymectomy produces benefits in MG is still uncertain. In general, ACh antibody levels fall after thymectomy, although there are conflicting reports. A study published in 1983 study findings found as high as 85% of patients who underwent thymectomy showed clinical improvement, and the maximal favorable response generally occurs 2 to 5 years after surgery (but some people may experience better health 7 to 10 years after surgery). The best responses to thymectomy are in young people early in the course of their disease, but improvement can occur even after 30 years of symptoms. Patients with thymomas do not respond as well to thymectomy as do patients without thymoma. The worst response rate to the surgery was from those who had surgery when they were over 60 years of age.

When considering surgery, it is important for the myasthenic to tell their neurologist and their surgeon of any concerns - the length of time of surgery, the effects of the anesthetic, the resultant scar, after surgery care, pain management.

What is Myasthenia Gravis (MG)?

2010-04-05T13:09:00.001-04:00

Myasthenia Gravis comes from the Greek and Latin words meaning "grave muscular weakness." The most common form of MG is a chronic autoimmune neuromuscular disorder that is characterized by fluctuating weakness of the voluntary muscle groups. The prevalence of MG in the United States is estimated to be about 20/100,000 population. However, MG is probably under diagnosed and the prevalence may be higher. Myasthenia Gravis occurs in all races, both genders, and at any age. MG is not thought to be directly inherited nor is it contagious. It does occasionally occur in more than one member of the same family.

The voluntary muscles of the entire body are controlled by nerve impulses that arise in the brain. These nerve impulses travel down the nerves to the place where the nerves meet the muscle fibers. Nerve fibers do not actually connect with muscle fibers. There is a space between the nerve ending and muscle fiber; this space is called the neuromuscular junction.

When the nerve impulse originating in the brain arrives at the nerve ending, it releases a chemical called acetylcholine. Acetylcholine travels across the space to the muscle fiber side of the neuromuscular junction where it attaches to many receptor sites. The muscle contracts when enough of the receptor sites have been activated by the acetylcholine. In MG, there is as much as an 80% reduction in the number of these receptor sites. The reduction in the number of receptor sites is caused by an antibody that destroys or blocks the receptor site.

Antibodies are proteins that play an important role in the immune system. They are normally directed at foreign proteins called antigens that attack the body. Such foreign proteins include bacteria and viruses. Antibodies help the body to protect itself from these foreign proteins. For reasons not well understood, the immune system of the person with MG makes antibodies against the receptor sites of the neuromuscular junction. Abnormal antibodies can be measured in the blood of many people with MG. The antibodies destroy the receptor sites more rapidly than the body can replace them. Muscle weakness occurs when acetylcholine cannot activate enough receptor sites at the neuromuscular junction.

Common symptoms can include:

A drooping eyelid
Blurred or double vision
Slurred speech
Difficulty chewing and swallowing
Weakness in the arms and legs
Chronic muscle fatigue
Difficulty breathing

Myasthenia Gravis: Frequently Asked Questions

Symptoms/Diagnosis

	What is myasthenia gravis and what are common symptoms?
	I think I have MG. What do I do?
	How does the doctor test for MG?

Medications/Treatment

	How is MG treated?
	Are there medications a patient with MG should not take?
	Why aren’t my medications working?
	Will my MG go away?
	Is it safe to switch to generic Mestinon® (pyridostigmine)?
	Can people with MG receive the flu shot?

Causes

	How did I get MG?
	Is MG hereditary?
	Is MG contagious?

General Facts

	How many people have MG?
	At what age do most patients get MG?
	Will my children get MG?

Pregnancy

Will I be able to have children?

Work

Will I be able to continue working?

Doctors

Can you refer me to a specialist in myasthenia gravis?

Literature/Research

	Where can I get information to show my doctor?
	Where can I get more information on MG?
	Where can I get the Practical Guide or Survival Guide?
	Where can I get more information on research?
	Do you have a newsletter?

Chapters/Support Groups

	Do you have a chapter in my area?
	Do you have a support group in my area?

Donations

How do I make a donation to MGFA?

Financial Assistance/Scholarships/Research Fellowships

	Where can I get more information about Social Security Disability?
	Can MGFA provide me with financial assistance for my medical needs?
	What can you tell me about research fellowships and scholarships?

Me and My Dis-Ease: Living with Myasthenia Gravis

2010-04-05T10:54:00.002-04:00

In August of last year when I was first hospitalized due to not being able to breathe, I was under the impression that it may have been just an asthma attack. And boy was I wrong. It turned out that I was having a Myasthenia Crisis. Basically the muscles around my respiratory area became so weak that I was unable to breathe. This was followed by not being able to speak coherently, swallow, open my eyes fully and other symptoms.

Now, before last year, I did not have insurance, which meant every time I went to the hospital for one of my symptoms, I was sent out the same day. All they kept telling me was anxiety this, panic attack that and while I do have experience with them both, clearly that was not the only issue. So all thru out 2007 and 2008 I was being lied to. Lied to only to become worse. In the less than a year, Dec08-Aug09 I went from 182 to 127 because I could not swallow my food and/or keep liquids down. Sad? Hell yeah. At this point I was also becoming weaker, unable to feed myself, walk on my own, do my hair, and other every day activities that we all take for granted which clearly led to depression. And I know the line "It could be worse" all to well, and at this point I am tired of hearing it.

Anywho, my lovely neurologist put me on some lovely meds called Mestinon which only suppressed the muscle weakness giving me a few hours of the day to get what I need done and then like Cinderella at Midnight I was a hot mess all over again.
So what did good ol doc do? She upped the dosage. From one pill a day to 2 1/2 pills a day. This was in Dec09. Mind you I am still falling on my face. As a matter of fact, Dec 21 while at the DFW Airport, I fell on my face, in what felt like slow motion, and no one helped me up. Fucked up? Hell yeah. Rude ass Americans. In between Dec09 and now, I have fell down stairs, in my house a countless amount of times and what has me in the hospital now? Getting out of bed and standing long enough to fall and hit my damn head. (I'm not that clumsy I swear) I have been here for a week tomorrow.

Why am I here so long? (Thank goodness for fine ass nurses) Because what they thought was only Class II MG, turned out to be, what seems like Class III or IV. I can walk again now, but they want to discuss surgical procedures to have my Thymus Gland removed. Which by the way, will not cure me. Only make life not as bad as it is now OH and it MIGHT lower the dosage of meds I need. If I do not have the surgery, I will be on the meds I am about to be released on which is 3 different pills a few times a day. Well, let me specify, I take three in the morning, one 4 hours later, another one four hours later, then three more. Yeah, I know, it could be worse. But that is 8 gotdamned pills [insert smirk here] Not to mention the IVIG i was just on for five days and will have to take once a month if I do not have surgery. (Let the doctor tell it)

Anywho if you have any questions about ANY of that just email me because I did skip thru a lot of the smaller issues. But I will be keeping you updated as often as I can. Especially since I am joining GA State Chapter for MG. I will also be posting a lot of links and info for others who have this issue.

Now, the reason why I am writing this blog

It is said that auto immune disorders are brought on by suppressed issues, ie childhood traumas, shit that has happened and we have yet to deal with, etc. Well, I am sure a lot of you are aware of my many horrors. Anywho, right before all of my symptoms started occurring I was in a bad car wreck. Bad enough that makes me want to never drive again. That along with everything I was ALREADY suppressing must clearly have something to do with my body attacking itself from the inside. Which is basically what is happening. The immune system can't tell the difference between healthy body tissue and antigens. The result is an immune response that destroys normal body tissues. It is all still a mystery as to WHY it happens this way but physical and emotional stress and infections can induce episodic attacks as well as aggravate the symptoms of the disorder that are already present. To read more about autoimmune disorders you can go to Medline Plus.

I heard Erykah Badu say "When you’re spending all of your time and energy, worrying or crying or fearing or thinking about the future or the past, which to me is a waste of time,you begin to borrow energy from your tissues. And because the blood is not pumping as rapidly as it should to these organs then your organs and tissues began to suffer….. The healthier your body is the better you can deal with stress and the more energy you have."

Now, when I heard organ, my mind took me straight to a conversation Enoch and I had about the seat of emotions being in the liver. With that being said, it is clear that different emotions affect different organs in our body. When we get angry, this mixes hormones and other chemicals, which go to various parts of the body, to get that area ready for action. Fear, jealousy, joy--all these emotions have an effect on our body, depending on the strength and duration of the emotion. I read that: "When the liver is overloaded, increased amounts of toxins circulate through the blood affecting most of our body systems. Our liver must transform the hormones released during emotional states, so they can be eliminated. When the liver is not functioning properly, emotional states that should come and go. stay around longer than necessary. When our environment is full of excess emotions, this puts a burden on the liver." and honestly I never thought of it like that. Every emotion I have ever had and held on to, especially the negative ones, are literally destroying me. I am destroying me. And of course there are physical levels of healing which include shit like diet, herbal and vitamin supplements, deep breathing, and body work and exercise. But there is also a much deeper level of healing which would be emotional and then of course the spiritual act of it. And lets not forget the mental because we do not need that shit lingering around in our minds. Anywho, down below are the ways of healing in in the emotional, mental, and spiritual manner and I hope it helps you as well as it will help me. I'm on my way to recovery! (I'm Rick James bitch would have sounded so much better)

THE EMOTIONAL LEVEL OF HEALING

The LIVER

Color - Green
Senses - Sight, (Eyes are external apertures)
Healing sound - SHHHHH

They say laughter is the best medicine for good reason. Our emotional states affect our physical body. The liver represents our desires and creativity. When healthy, we can respond to changes in a flexible manner; when impaired, we have a tendency to be overcontrolling/undercontrolling, rigid, inflexibile, irrational, irritable and short-tempered. Through visualization you can engage in a process of healing yourself emotionally. Bio-feedback allows your mind at an emotional level to change your bodies physical state. In this section we will give you two techniques for doing this.

The liver is the seat of anger, and it stores not only your anger but the anger from others, as well, especially your parents. The toxic energy stored in the liver affects the liver's function. Anger injures the liver's yin energy which results in a flare up of liver yang energy. This rising liver yang ascends to the heart and head--causing headaches, blurred vision, dizziness, and mental confusion. Irritability, a short temper, and outbursts of anger further damage the liver and create a cycle of disease and destructive emotional energy.

Since we're dealing with depression (anger), you will find the following techniques important and worthy of practice. We are going to lead you through some techniques to discharge the storage of anger in your liver. You will become acquainted with your liver and will be able to sense your liver in ways you've never experienced.

Healing Sound Technique

1. Find a comfortable, quiet place to sit with your hands in your lap (right over left). Find the location of your liver from the chart. Connect mentally to the location of the liver because the use of the healing sound and light for the liver will be employed. The better the connection, the quicker the results will be.

2. Practice your breathing as earlier explained. Bring your breath deeply (through your nose) to the bottom of your lungs and link up mentally to your liver. As you start to exhale, tilt you head back with teeth clinched, tongue to the roof of your mouth.

3. Exhale and sub-vocally (heard only internally) say SHHHHH. You may want to orally practice this sound for a while. The sound is like HUSH. Once you have used this sound for a while, it becomes easy to remember.

4. Repeat this technique at least 4 times. You may do it as many times as you wish but in multiples of 3. Your are ventilating the toxicity in your liver so the more you practice the greater the results. Practice it also during times of anger and stress.

The next technique will be coupled with the healing sound. Each organ has an associated color. The color for the liver is green--bright dark green--like emerald green. We will use two things to impact the liver-the smile-down and healing light. Think of an event in your past that was the funniest thing you've ever experienced. Just thinking about this event causes you to laugh. This is the smiling energy you'll use to help your liver. After doing the healing sound for your liver begin this technique.

Smiling Energy and Healing Light Techniques

1. Using the same breathing technique, take that smiling energy after a deep breath and hold the breath while smiling down into the liver.
2. Exhale through the mouth. Smile down into the liver as many times as possible, at least 3 times. Sense the energy in your liver.
3. Use the same breathing technique and inhale through the nose and breathe deeply into your lungs, hold, and look down into your liver and see it being covered with waves of emerald green light. Do this at least 3 times.

IT IS IMPORTANT TO END YOUR TECHNIQUES BY MOVING ANY EXCESS ENERGY INTO THE NAVEL.

On completion of the above listed techniques perform the following:

Stand, and walk around for a while.
As you are walking, use your hands and your thoughts to move the energy from your liver into your naval area.

These are some basic techniques that can detox the liver and remove the charge of anger stored there. With daily practice you'll find the depression lifting and the triggers that used to key your anger no longer working. Practice becoming the observer.

THE MENTAL LEVEL OF HEALING

The mind can be a great builder or destroyer. The system you came out of helped create destructive mind sets which must be changed. Our brain is much like a computer. The programming from our past creates predictable results. That programming starts at birth and continues until we die. For depression, the mind set, or programming, is based upon those experiences of life. Those recordings of our past experiences will play a major role in our perceptions of events and behavior. When there is another similar event, our recordings of past begin to play, and we have a predictable outcome. Part of our programming perpetuates our depression. We also see ourselves as victims of all things-childhood, parents, husbands, wives, bosses, society, and events. We learn to react to those things in a very predictable way.

Reprogramming the "Old Tapes"
Unfortunately, we can't just erase the old tapes, but we can write over them. As an example, If I have a mind set of lack, I have lack. If I believe I'm unloved, them I'm unloved, etc, etc. As earlier stated, the mind is a powerful thing. Our experiences helped create that knowing, so we have to change our experiences--new experiences that have positive outcomes. We start by learning not to react to the old tapes and substituting new tapes in place of the old. Rather than reacting, practice becoming the observer of the old tapes and place stoppers in the old tape. You can control that tape by consciously stopping the internal dialogue and placing another tape to be played. The new tape has to do with a different perspective and outcome--through visualization. Create the event mentally by seeing it with a filter. This filter cleans out the old tape and leaves only the event as it is, without the tainted projections, assumptions, interpretations, or justification. The event just is!

With depression we usually have less mental power. Because of our suppressed anger, our programs are tainted and have little happiness or joy. Create a picture of the event(s) with different outcomes--then use positive affirmations. "I choose to break free of my past and experience life from a positive perspective."

THE SPIRITUAL LEVEL OF HEALING

With depression most people are disconnected from that spiritual link. To open this link to God, practice the breathing techniques. God has always been there, but we're the one that has closed that channel. The things that have wounded us, the conditions we are in, and our negative experiences were not God's punishment. God's love for us is so great that he/she has allowed us to live out our issues without interference. The wounds are from man, not God. The parents didn't know that to the child they were God. They fell short and so does man. By doing this work you can link up with God and carry a lighter burden. Ritualize more things in your life--giving thanks for what you do have, and you'll be led to Grace. With practice and more technique you'll discover and be led into the Stillness.

Molesting my Molester : Regaining Power

2010-02-13T05:15:00.003-05:00

We were at this familiar house, had to have about three rooms, the master on one side of the kitchen the other two rooms on the other end and then of course the the living room, dining room, there was a "game-room" like den and it was well furnished.
Everyone had left and my mother stated that she would be back which left the house to just the two of us.

Me and him.

He and I

Us

we

alone.

I was in the corner of the hallway quietly watching him work his way around the kitchen, cleaning and putting things in their appropriate places and right when he turned the light off to leave the kitchen i walked up behind him and wrapped a rope like [maybe it was a belt?] object around his neck until he became weak and fell to his knees. This made me feel a sudden rush that i had never felt before. It felt like all the blood in me immediately rushed to my clit, it became hard and i could feel myself getting wet, so wet that it began to run down my thigh.
Once he was unconscious i yanked and tugged at him until i could get him to the bedroom where i tied him to the bed.

Arm...
...arm...
...leg...
...leg

And woke him by pouring cold water on him. He jumped up out of shock and began questioning why i had him tied up, why was i treating him this way..

I slapped him, hard enough for his lip to bleed and told him that i would ask all of the questions and he was to speak only at that point.

The look in his eye was of straight terror.
Like he had inverted back to a little boy and i was the boogie man.
That look turned me on even more.

I grabbed him by the throat and began to slowly kiss him, pulling his penis thru the hole in his boxers and slowly stroking him until he became hard, as soon as i could feel the hardness of him peaking thru i blind folded him and taped his mouth because i only wanted to enjoy the fact that i was in charge.

Right before i put the blind fold on i could see tears streaming from his eyes and sadly enough i did not give a damn at this point i was ready to cum.

I dug my nails into the side of his stomach, deep enough to carve my name and then i began to suck him

slowly

allowing him to
grow inside of my mouth

large enough for it to
hit the back of my throat

and release a small amount of nut

I suppose that was my cue to
climb on top of him

i ripped the tape off of his mouth
and as he yelped i stuck my nails
in his throat as i tilted his head back whispering in his ear
"tell me you want it"
he shook his head no so
i slapped him
and repeated the demand
"TELL me you want it"
he nodded slowly
i asked
"what the fuck does that mean?"
he whimpered
"i want it"
i told him to repeat it
he yelled out slightly louder
"i want it"
i then proceeded by
telling him to

fuck me

like he meant it,

like he wanted it

like he craved it

like he loved it

he thru his pelvis
digging himself deeper into my

i yelled fuck me harder

my every wish was his command

and i could feel him
becoming apart of me
like i was transforming into him
i began to love myself
and despise myself at the same time
and right at this point is when i came

then i woke up out of my sleep
wet?
i had actually came in my sleep
first time ever...

now in this dream was i regaining power or losing my mind?

I was taking back what he took from me.

I was not angry.. just yearned for power.

The power rapist/molester usually is someone the victim knows: a friend, a date, an acquaintance, a relative.

Or maybe i was a bit angry since i used violence... The power rapist rarely threatens the victim with physical violence beyond the sexual assault itself, and does not usually injure the victim.

But i wanted to inflict pain, and i wanted to cum in the process. I wanted to him to feel the humiliation he put me thru and altho it was never any pain brought to me [outside of fucking me] what i wanted for him was the total opposite.

Two different profiles i read:

The Power Rapist is very different. He does not want to hurt the victim. Rather, he is seeking a conquest. He wants to have a woman and to control her. He always wants her to like him. He wants to "score" and is willing to use whatever means are necessary to force compliance. Thus, he is capable of hurting his victims. Power rapists often have fantasies about taking a woman by force as a way of fulfilling his fantasy. He often keeps the victim with him for hours, making normal social conversation and may even ask her for a date in the future. Power rapists are usually men who have been unsuccessful in interpersonal relationships in their lives in general. They rape to compensate for feelings of inadequacy.

The Sadistic Rapist uses brutal, violent force and usually the force is lethal. Aggression is eroticized in his mind and anger and sexuality are fused into one. The attack is premeditated. Sadistic rapists commit the most grotesque crimes. Therefore, they often get the most publicity, creating the false impression that sadistic rapes are more prevalent than other types of rape.

Maybe it was just a dream pr maybe it was me wanting to feel Powerful again...
Either way this dream scared the hell out of me, what do you think?

Forgiveness

2010-01-18T10:51:00.000-05:00

The conventional understanding of forgiveness is of some absolution or pardon–something along the lines, "I know you did wrong, but I’ll overlook it this time." But the original meaning of forgiveness is very different. The ancient Greek word for "forgiveness", is aphesis, meaning "to let go." When we forgive another we let go of the judgments we may have projected onto them. We release them from all our interpretations and evaluations, all our thoughts of right or wrong, of friend or foe.

Instead we see that here is another human being caught up in their own illusions about themselves and the world around them. Like us, they feel the need for security, control, recognition, approval, or stimulus. They too probably feel threatened by people and things that prevent them finding fulfillment. And, like us, they sometimes make mistakes. Yet, behind all these errors, there is another child of God simply looking for peace of mind.

Even those we regard as evil are seeking the same goal. It is just that for one reason or another–who knows what pain they may have endured in their childhood, or what beliefs they may have adopted–they seek their own fulfillment in ways that are uncaring, and perhaps even cruel. Deep inside, however, they are another spark of the divine light struggling to find some salvation in this world.

Forgiveness is not something we do for the other person so much as something we do for ourselves. When we let go of our judgments of others, we let go of the source of much of our anger and many of our grievances. Our bad feelings may seem justified at the time, but they don’t serve us–in fact, they usually cause more damage to us than they do to the other person. The freer we are of our judgments and grievances, the more at peace we can be in ourselves.

There is nothing more painful than walking around with bitterness in your heart.

Hugh Prather

This change in perception is the essence of a change of consciousness. When I first heard of higher states of consciousness, I imagined they would bring awareness of subtler dimensions, possibly new energies, or some other aspect of reality that was beyond my everyday perception. Over the years, I have gradually realized that enlightenment is seeing the same world, but in a different light. It is not seeing different things so much as seeing things differently.

-P.Russell

random [7729] watch whos spirit you swallow

2010-01-15T22:34:00.002-05:00

Start at the Bottom [#35] and work your way up. You've done this before i am sure

Tantra
Your Pastor not teaching you this stuff? Get a divorce.
HA! The "devil" is the reason for this madness @StarChyld2525
StarChyld2525

@iAmOshun Imma need you to tell the truth and shame the devil..
rt @OmoOba59 wonder y u can't stop calling him, cause he's in u. Literally <---YES! see. i aint crazy yall
rt @OmoOba59 I agree. So many ppl don't know how spiritually attached they become to ppl because of those deposits.
Thank you for allowing me to vent. That was something my Spirit told me to tweet.
Somebody swallowed the Unfollow Spirit. And thats fine.
ChanelSaysSo

@iAmOshun ppl dnt undrstand how much interchangng of auras & spirits occur during sex...I 4got it myself. Smh. I'll never 4get again.
He/She got a bad attitude? You might not want to swallow him/her.
"When Erica got with Ashely she started stealing cars" <---Power of the Poisoned Juices
"Ever since LaTavia got with Jonjon she been acting different. Lyin and stuff all the timme" <--thats cause Jonjon got them Lying Soldiers
LAUGHING OUT LOUD
Yall be dickmatized by those liquid droppings of spiritual poison.
And straight women. Yall letting these dudes bust nuts in you then wonder why you walking different. It has nothing to do with how he dicked you down. But all to do with that injection of bullshit he just shot up in you
#liespeopletelll
Oh please. We are all grown. We have all swallowed. Even it was on "accident".
"Its the God in Me" Literally
Im done. For now
I need you to be some type of God like for me to swallow you. Or else im upping chuck.
And just cause they pretty, handsome, fine, etc dont mean they spirit is right.
Ever give oral sex and mentally not feel right afterward? Attitude change, having mood swings, ITS TRANSFORMING YOU
Its all spiritual
Be cautious of who you Swallow. Who knows what energy they are carrying.
Why would you want that spirit in you? You don't.
Sucking on someone with tendencies of lying, cheating, stealing. Now Its apart of who you are.
thats why you cant eat/suck everybody up. Once a drop of them goes into you, their spirit is in you. Thats why half of yall are crazy
No girl will want you if you are afraid to swallow her juices. It forms a connection between the two of you @MdBBrowder
I think its the fact that its white. Long story bro. Childhood issues @Graffititech
I crack myself up
I have "32 Flavors" by Alana Davis (http://bit.ly/7FoFUd) #pandora
I am a fan of swallowing Protein tho. It's good for my skin. Thats why my complexion is so flawless.
I don't have a gag reflex UNTIL it comes to that. And yogurt?!?! *gags* @osodelio
My Belief is in God. And i am God so my Belief is in Me. @BinLadenMinaj
I am not a fan of: ranch, white gravy, whip cream, sour cream, or anything else that is white with thick consistency

The Four Agreements :

2010-01-05T06:53:00.000-05:00

Agreement Three:
Don’t make assumptions
OBJECTIVE
At the end of this instruction, you will be able to:
• List ways to avoid making assumptions
• Understand the “ABCs” of emotions
• Identify ways to calm an angry person
INTERNAL ASSUMPTIONS
The ABC’s of emotion tell us about how and why we make internal assumptions. First, there is an
Activating event that helps us set up an assumption. Then, we establish a Belief system. This belief
may be either rational (based upon observable, factual data) or irrational (not based upon facts).
Finally, we develop a Consequential emotion that is triggered by our belief. It is important to
recognize when an irrational belief could be beneficially changed to a rational one.
ASSUMPTIONS ABOUT CONFLICT
We tend to make assumptions about conflict, namely that all conflict is bad and should be avoided.
However, while some might view conflict as a contest to win and something to avoid, conflict is
often times a good way to explore other points of view and to discover opportunities to grow.
DON’T MAKE ASSUMPTIONS
We create drama by making assumptions, by taking it personally, and by gossiping about our
assumptions. We perpetuate this by not asking for clarification, defending our assumptions, and
trying to make someone else wrong based on our assumptions.
To avoid making assumptions, it is important to gather more facts about the situation and about our
own beliefs. It is also important to gain knowledge about the facts, about how others perceive the
situation, and about your own beliefs.
CALMING AN ANGRY PERSON
To calm an angry person you can:
Listen
Stop talking and give your attention
Acknowledge feelings
Seek additional information
Don’t assume
Restate your understanding of the
problem
State areas where there is agreement
Brainstorm a “preferred future”
Identify all the possible solutions
Agree on next steps

The Four Agreements :

2010-01-02T01:00:00.000-05:00

Agreement Two:
Don’t take anything personally
OBJECTIVE
At the end of this instruction, you will be able to:
• Describe what “Don’t take anything personally” means to you
• Practice not “taking anything personally”
DON’T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY
Nothing other people do or say is because of you. What people do or say is a result of their own
dream world. When we take things personally, we feel offended and react by defending ourselves,
creating drama.
It is important to understand that people may give compliments or criticism, but what they say is
about them and how they feel at that moment and about their own needs. What they say is not just
about you.
When we avoid taking words personally, we take away the power other people try to have over us.
We become immune to manipulation. If you refuse to take things personally, even if someone is
trying to draw you into their dream world and is being critical, you can remain peaceful.
SETTING LIMITS
When someone asks you to do something, listen intently and repeat what the person is asking. Don’t
take the request personally even if it is presented with criticism or with a compliment. You can
simply ask, “You would like to…” or “You want me to…” to clarify the person’s request. Be sure to
clarify if you correctly understand what someone is communicating to you.
Set limits by being impeccable with your word. Use your words to speak truth and to encourage
yourself and others. There are several techniques that can help:
Use “I” statements.
Don’t put yourself down.
Don’t use excuses or blame others.
Offer any possible alternatives.

ACTIVITY
Use this role playing scenario to practice not taking anything personally and to set limits.
As a consumer leader, you are asked to sit on a state level policy-making committee. You attend
several meetings where you are warmly greeted but your input is not asked for. In fact, you believe
your opinion is being ignored by the chair and other members of the committee. You are beginning
to feel like a “token consumer.” This is made worse by the fact that you seem to be the only
consumer on the committee. When you ask about this you find that there are two other consumer
appointees that don’t attend very often. When you talk to them, they don’t share your concern
about consumers being ignored.
How might you address this situation?
Remember: Use “I” statements to explain how you feel. Don’t put yourself down. Don’t use excuses
or blame others. Explain possible alternatives.

Forgiveness

2009-12-28T15:57:00.001-05:00

A friend realized something rather amusing yet enlightening. He became a more forgiving person when he realized that he had been letting himself off again and again, readily forgiving himself for his own misdeeds to others big and small, while being easily unforgiving and grudge-bearing towards others for their little mistakes. He realized how fat his ego was. It was as if he alone had all the right in the world to be wrong and forgiven, while the rest of the world should do him no slight wrong.

Being a forgiving person is part of the path of practice towards Enlightenment. Forgiveness liberates both pain and guilt. It unties knots of tensed negative karma, stops ill seeds from growing into greater hatred. Being unforgiving is nurturing our sense of hatred.

However, forgiving another does not mean we allow the same wrong to be repeated. We have to realize that while it could be our negative karma that we are wronged, we should put in the effort to prevent the person who did us wrong from doing more harm, creating more negative karma for himself. By being complacent, we could well be creating more negative karma for ourselves! Remember - forgiveness is "for giving". It is a gift of reassurance - it sets both parties' hearts and minds at peace.

The Four Agreements :

2009-12-27T06:43:00.002-05:00

Agreement One:
Be impeccable with your word

OBJECTIVES
At the end of this lesson, you will be able to:
• Describe what it means to be impeccable with your word
• Practice being impeccable with your word
BE IMPECCABLE WITH YOUR WORD
To be impeccable with your word means to:
Speak with integrity
Say only what you mean
Avoid using words to speak against yourself
Avoid using words to speak against others
Use the power of your word for truth and encouragement
OUR WORD
Our ability to use words sets us apart as humans, but this ability is also a two-edged sword. Words
can create and words can destroy. When we misuse our words, we can create major problems, but
using our words impeccably heals and empowers others.
GOSSIP
Not only does gossip destroy others, but it is also produces conflict and creates drama. Gossip works
like a computer virus. Once it is introduced, your thoughts become mixed up and you stop
producing good results. With gossip, one little piece of information can break down other
communication. Gossip infects everyone it touches. With a computer virus, we have safety
precautions that tell us “Don’t open this file” because once you do, it’s too late. When we gossip, we
act like hackers who intentionally spread a virus to destroy how others think and to cause drama.
BEING POSITIVE AND TRUTHFUL
Keep in mind that your opinion is just your point of view and not necessarily true. Remember, your
opinion comes from your own dream world, your own beliefs and “rules.” When you speak well of
people and yourself, and when you stop yourself from demanding everyone live by your rules, you
feel good and at peace with yourself. Use your words to speak truth and to encourage yourself and
others.

ACTIVITY
The Telephone Line
Sit in a circle and have one person start a “rumor” by whispering a one sentence statement to the
person to his or her left. The statement should be something that is simple like, “Did you know that
Lance Armstrong recently won his sixth Tour de France?” Once you whisper the statement to the
next person you cannot repeat the statement. Send the statement around the circle one person at a
time and have the last person say what they heard out loud.
Questions for discussion:
• Did the statement change?
• If the statement changed, how could confusion have been avoided?
• What would you have done to make sure you understood the statement?

Message of The Day

2009-12-27T06:43:00.001-05:00

Life is unpredictable - prepare your mind now for the unexpected. Remain receptive to other peoples moods so that you can attend to what you wish to produce. Look deeper into the situations that surround you so that you can fully understand them. See if the actions and behavior of others are aligned with the thoughts and ideas that they are expressing.

Prepare your mind for vibrations that could demand quick decisions causing you to act immediately. Trust and believe that all change will eventually be more beneficial. Believe in your mastery of practical thinking and your commitment to quality and excellence. You have detached yourself from a situation which requires more force. You are "limiting" your viewpoint - having become obsessed with your problems and your inability to do anything about them. You require strength, courage and optimism now - expand your mind and exercise it. Renew your perception and revitalize your mind.

An extreme distortion of characteristics...overly curious or apathetic - mental stagnation or rambling inefficiency with too much going on. Generating too many ideas with no follow-through. Inefficient communication.

Questions to Answer: What do you have to say? What fears must you face? What of significance have you just learned through the media? Who is trying to communicate with you?

random[excrements]

2009-12-23T18:03:00.003-05:00

yesterday was not a very strong day for me emotional.

feeling a lack of intimacy, understanding, friendship, and acceptance

like they all were missing.

i only have like this many friends *holds up right hand* and i can not expect them to stop everything they are doing to cater to me, although, i do want that at times LOL i can not help that though.

isolation
separation
detached from everybody else,
a FEELING of being all alone.
I read that we need to realize that loneliness is nothing more than a feeling.

But its such a painful ass feeling lol

I found this info on a "personal development" site, and while i can say, i am really the ONLY one who can pull me out of this feeling, Chuck did help a little.

Words are a lot like cars. Both are loaded with power. Cars are used to drive home. And words are used to drive home a point. Words and cars are very useful, but when used improperly, they can harm us. There are many poor drivers and poor thinkers because we learn about cars and words from unqualified instructors, such as our parents or friends. Now, let's get to the point. Did you ever say any of the following to yourself or others? "I am lonely." "I am sad." "I am angry." If you did, that is a misuse of language that leads to harmful effects.

Here is something to think about. The words we use imprison us or set us free. For example, if I were to say, "I AM lonely." That is just like saying, "I AM white." or "I AM a male." You see, there's nothing I can do about being white or a male. There is nothing I can do to change what I AM. So, when I say, "I AM lonely," the implication is that I cannot change. In other words, I use words to imprison myself with false beliefs.

However, when I acknowledge that loneliness is a feeling by saying, "I FEEL lonely," I open the door of my prison cell because feelings can and do change. Of course, as long as I continue to say, "I feel lonely. I feel lonely. I feel lonely," nothing will change. For although I opened the door, I have chosen to remain in the cell. To completely set myself free I have to take that extra step by saying, "I feel lonely, SO I'M GOING TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT."

Loneliness is much more than an inconvenience. Left unchecked, it can be a precursor to the solitary confinement of drug and other addictions. For the pain of loneliness may cause one to look for solace in drugs, alcohol, sex, or gambling. There is also the danger of loneliness developing into anxiety and depression. One can become completely immobilized by feelings of self-pity and helplessness. Also, one may try to mask pain by oversleeping or putting in long hours at the office. Finally, the stress imposed by loneliness leads to a weakened immune system, heart disease, and other physical ailments. The moral is clear. If we're suffering from loneliness, it's time to decide to do something about it.

All right, I feel lonely and want to do something about it, so what must I do? Start by understanding a simple law of life which can help solve almost any problem. That law is: You have to give away what you wish to receive. Our actions are balls that bounce back to us. A corollary of that law is: Don't give others what you don't want to receive. If I punch someone, they will punch me back. If I hug someone, they will hug me back. It's as simple as that. And that is the wisdom contained in the teaching, "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you."

Now, let's see what happens when we apply the above principle. I feel lonely. As I sink into the sea of loneliness, I decide to reach out. For the pain I experience reminds me how others must feel. So, I resolve to help lessen the suffering of others by becoming a volunteer or a friend. Perhaps I visit seniors, the bedridden, or those in prison. Or, I may befriend a lonely classmate, coworker, or neighbor. As I do so, what do you suppose happens? Yes, others eagerly look forward to my visits. By becoming a friend, I have gained friends. By offering support, I have won support. By healing the loneliness of others, I have healed myself.

Another corollary of the law of life mentioned above is: You will receive the most when you give the most. So, give of yourself, expecting little in return. Think of others, not yourself. Don't be needy because that will drain the energy of others and drive them away. Don't be needy, be a friend. And build that friendship slowly. Don't overwhelm others with your own problems. Learn to listen to others and they will listen to you. Learn to comfort others, and you will be comforted. Practice the principle of Tennessee Williams (1914 ~ 1983), who wrote, "When so many are lonely as seem to be lonely, it would be inexcusably selfish to be lonely alone."

How can you love someone you don't know and don't spend time with? What is true for others also applies to yourself. How can you love yourself, if you don't spend time alone to get to know yourself. Being alone need not be the same as being lonely. For being alone is an opportunity for reflection, self-discovery, and growth. You will never be lonely if you like the person you are with. And no matter where you go, you will always be accompanied by yourself, so get to know and like that person.

The strongest trees are those that grow alone. The greatest dreams are those conceived alone. God can speak to you only when you are alone. Your purpose and life's meaning will be revealed to you only when you are alone. Yes, solitude is not the hovel of a recluse, but the mansion of a master. It is a place of joy. Yet, don't retreat to it to such an extent that you neglect others and deny yourself the blessings of friendship and companionship.

There's nothing questionable about the power of questions. If you're feeling lonely and don't know why, that's because you haven't been asking questions. Take an inventory of your behavior. Are you a show-off? Domineering? Moody? A complainer? A gossiper? Unreliable? Nosy? Short-tempered? A taker that doesn't know how to give? Do you build walls instead of bridges? Would you want to be friends with someone like you? Questions provoke thought and point to solutions. How can you take corrective action unless you ask yourself what you are doing wrong? If you are still mired in loneliness, is that because you're waiting to be rescued? (Don't hold your breath because help isn't on the way.) If you need a hand, you'll find it at the end of your own arm. There are lots you can do such as join a support group to master people skills. Learning about self-esteem, assertiveness, and how to overcome shyness and win friends can be a great deal of fun and put an end to your loneliness for good. Don't deprive others of the blessing of knowing you; be a friend!

I no longer AM lonely
i just FEEL lonely

xoxoOshun

Live In The Moment

2009-12-23T02:07:00.000-05:00

Live in the moment,
from moment to moment;
not moment with moment.

Living "moment to moment" is to live from point to point,
with each point full of awareness in the present instant.

Living "moment with moment" is to live with attachment
to the bygone past or yet-to-come future.

Crossing the river of time,
we move from one stepping stone to another.
If we can only be physically on one stone at a time,
so should we be mentally -
to prevent falling.

Living in the Present

2009-12-19T10:37:00.001-05:00

Living in the present is to be aware of what is happening to you, what you are doing and what you are feeling and thinking. It is being conscious of your thoughts and focusing them on the present. In this way you look at situations as they are, without coloring them with your past experiences. Living in such a way makes it easier to deal with whatever you are doing at the present moment. You see things as they are, without being influenced by fears, anger, desires or attachments.

Next time you catch yourself thinking idly, watch the thoughts that flow through your mind, what are they? Are you trying to relive the past? Maybe you are reassessing past behavior or events? Maybe you are thinking how it would have been if you acted differently. Are you enacting past events in your mind? Even thoughts and daydreams about the future are colored by past experiences.

If your past experiences of relationships were pleasant and positive, that is how you going to think about your future relationships. If the experiences were negative, that is how you are going to visualize your future. It is always the past recreating your life.

You probably think sometimes about what someone told you, how someone treated you, how you did this or that. It is always about the past. You are letting the past captivate you and influence your behavior. Reliving the past is recreating it constantly. You are not letting change enter your life. It is all right to recreate the past if it was pleasant, but why repeat in your mind if it was unpleasant?

There is a story about two friends traveling by train. One was very nervous, restless and full of complaints the whole trip. He was impatient to reach his destination, and disliked every moment of the trip. He did not pay attention to his surroundings, as his mind was full of impatient, restless and grumpy thoughts.

His friend, on the other hand, enjoyed the scenery, drank a cup of coffee, ate a piece of cake and chatted with the other passengers. He enjoyed every moment the trip. He lived in the present moment and made the most of it. On arrival he was fresh and felt good. His friend, as expected, arrived exhausted, tired and unhappy.

It is a matter of the right attitude. Life becomes a happy and enjoyable trip when the attitude toward it and its events is positive, and the present moment is used in the best possible way.

Living in the present means concentrating on what is happening now, enjoying it and making the most of it.
Do you know how many opportunities are missed due to dwelling on the past, instead of seeing and being conscious of what is happening at the present moment? When our mind is elsewhere we behave like robots, and repeat the same mistakes of the past, do the same things, and then complain that our life is dull and uninteresting.

Wake up to the present moment and live in it. The past happened and passed, so what is the use of reliving it? Do you enjoy reliving it? If it is a pleasant experience that's okay. You may wish to relive it and recreate it in your life. But why repeat the same event again, if it was an unhappy one? Why do you repeat something that has caused you pain?

We are usually unaware of the process of thinking that is going on in our heads. We repeat the same thoughts as a matter of habit. They come and we do not resist them. We welcome them even if they are unpleasant. We get used to our thoughts and habits, even if we do not admit it. In this way they become stronger and more powerful. As our minds recreate our past, we find that the present is always the mirror of the past. Then nothing new happens and we complain that life is always the same, that nothing changes. Weird, foolish, tragic and funny at the same time, isn't it?

By being aware of your thoughts and feelings, it becomes easier to be a little more detached. When you are detached you become able to choose how to react to people, events and circumstances, which can save yourself a lot of inconvenience, trouble and embarrassment.

Living in the present means concentrating on what you are doing each moment.
This develops and strengthens your powers of concentration and attention, which among other things, enhance your ability to study and do your work more quickly and efficiently. Concentrating on what you are doing also helps you to make fewer mistakes and conduct yourself and your affairs in a better way.

You become enslaved by thoughts and emotions and lose your freedom by living in the past, and thinking and visualizing events that have already happened. On the other hand, concentrating on the present moment, on what is happening or what you are doing right now, frees you of unnecessary, burdensome and unpleasant thoughts, and you gain peace of mind.

Stop reading for a moment, and remind yourself of several occasions, when you were engrossed in what you were doing, and believe me, there were a lot of these moments. Did you ever read a book and forgot for a while everything else? Were you engrossed in a pleasant movie, enjoying your hobby or eating very delicious food? In these moments you did not think about anything else. You were happy, calm and content and free from obsessing and futile thoughts. You were concentrating on what you were doing. This is the great power and meaning of living in the present.

Remember, the present moment is very brief. It always turns immediately into the past. The future has not happened. Live in the present.

Constant living and awareness of the present develop a new kind of awareness-consciousness. It is awareness of freedom, of being alive, of happiness and joy. You come to realize the peace, calmness, joy and freedom from thoughts that the mystics talk about. You find out experimentally that what they are talking about is nothing mysterious, mystical or out of this life. You find that this is a most natural and positive state.

Refuse to relive the past. Change the videocassette in your mind!

Enjoy the present moment!

Find the positive, good and useful in each moment!

Spiritual Growth Benefits, Tips and Suggestions

2009-12-19T10:27:00.000-05:00

By Remez Sasson

Spiritual growth is an important inner process, not only for people who live in far away and secluded places, and who seek spiritual awakening. Spiritual growth is of paramount importance for a better, happier and more harmonious life, free of tension and strain, fear and anxiety.

Spiritual growth is the process of getting rid of wrong concepts, thoughts and beliefs about who we are and about the world in which we live. Through this process we increase our awareness of our true inner being, the true spirit that we are. It is a process of looking inside us, shedding our illusions and uncovering our true essence, which is always present, but hidden beyond the ego-personality.

Why should we be interested in spiritual growth? What are the signs that we are growing spiritually? What are the benefits? Here are a few signs and benefits:

# We develop detachment, which leads to inner peace.

# We learn not to let outside circumstance affect our moods and states of mind.

# We become more patient and tolerant.

# We learn to rise above frustration, disappointment and negative feelings.

# Inner power and strength increase.

# This process leads to increased feeling of happiness.

# Our intuition gets sharper.

# We become better citizens of the world.

# Our understanding of our inner essence, what we are, and why we are here grows.

How can one grow spiritually? The term spiritual growth is not really correct. The spirit is perfect and does not need to grow. It is a term that describes a process of becoming more aware of what and who we are, growing to look at our life and circumstances from a different, more detached point of view, and of putting things into the proper perspective. It is a process of shedding negative and limiting habits, thoughts and beliefs, and letting the inner self within us shine out.

Imagine a radiant bulb of light, hidden beneath layers of various materials. To let the light of the bulb shine out and illuminate the surroundings, you do not have to strengthen the light or change the bulb. All you have to do is to take away the layers that are covering it. As you remove layer after layer the light shines more radiantly and strongly.

How do you remove the layers that are covering the light of your inner self? You do so through positive thinking, reading spiritual literature, reading spiritual quotes, and by practicing concentration, meditation and other inner training techniques. If you browse this website, you will find a lot of information, advice and instructions for spiritual growth.

Here are a few suggestions to start you on the road of spiritual growth:

# Acknowledge the fact that you are a spirit with a physical body, not a physical body with a spirit. If you can accept this idea, it will change your attitude toward many things in your life.

# Look inside you, and try to find out what it is that makes you feel alive.

# Make an effort to think positively. If you find yourself thinking negatively, immediately direct your mind to thinking on something positive. Open the door for the positive and close it for the negative.

# Always try to look at the bright side of life. Your inner self is stronger than your circumstances. Don't let circumstances and situations dictate to you how to feel or think.

# Endeavor to focus your attention on everything you do, instead of letting your attention go wherever it desires.

# Start learning and practicing meditation.

# Do your best to be tolerant, patient, tactful and considerate.

# Thank the Universe for everything that you get.

Strange Fruit

2009-12-12T08:05:00.007-05:00

[warning graphic photo]
Thomas Shipp and Abram Smith were African-Americans who were lynched on August 7, 1930 in Marion, Indiana. They had been arrested the night before, charged with robbing and murdering a white factory worker and raping his girlfriend. A large crowd broke into the jail with sledgehammers, beat the two men, and hanged them. Police officers in the crowd cooperated in the lynching. A third person, 16 year old James Cameron, narrowly escaped lynching thanks to an unidentified participant who announced that he had nothing to do with the rape or murder.A studio photographer, Lawrence Beitler, took a photograph of the dead bodies hanging from a tree surrounded by a large crowd; thousands of copies of the photograph were sold.

(1) Abe Meeropol, Strange Fruit, (1939)

Southern trees bear a strange fruit,
Blood on the leaves and blood at the root,
Black body swinging in the Southern breeze,
Strange fruit hanging from the poplar trees.

Pastoral scene of the gallant South,
The bulging eyes and the twisted mouth,
Scent of magnolia sweet and fresh,
And the sudden smell of burning flesh!

Here is a fruit for the crows to pluck,
For the rain to gather, for the wind to suck,
For the sun to rot, for a tree to drop,
Here is a strange and bitter crop.

The song began life as a poem written by Abel Meeropol, a schoolteacher who was living in the Bronx and teaching English at the De Witt Clinton High School, where his students would have included the Academy award-winning screenwriter Paddy Chayefsky, the playwright Neil Simon, and the novelist and essayist James Baldwin. Meeropol was a trade union activist and a closet member of the Communist Party; his poem was first published in January 1937 as "Bitter Fruit", in a union magazine called the New York School Teacher. In common with many Jewish people in the US during this period, Meeropol was worried (with reason) about anti-semitism and chose to publish his poem under the pseudonym "Lewis Allan", the first names of his two stillborn children....

Meeropol wrote "Strange Fruit" to express his horror at lynchings, possibly after seeing Lawrence Beitler's photograph of the lynching of Thomas Shipp and Abram Smith in Marion, Indiana. Though Meeropol/Allan had often asked others (notably Earl Robinson) to set his poems to music, he set Strange Fruit to music himself. The song gained a certain success as a protest song in and around New York. Meeropol, his wife, and black vocalist Laura Duncan performed it at Madison Square Garden.Barney Josephson, the founder of Cafe Society in Greenwich Village, New York's first integrated nightclub, heard the song and introduced it to Billie Holiday. Holiday performed the song at Cafe Society in 1939. She said that singing it made her fearful of retaliation. Holiday later said that because the imagery in "Strange Fruit" reminded her of her father, she persisted in singing it. The song became a regular part of Holiday's live performances.

"The germ of the song was in a poem written by Lewis Allen. When he showed me that poem, I dug it right off. It seemed to spell out all the things that had killed Pop (Holliday's father had died of pneumonia in 1937 after several segregated southern hospitals refused to treat him). Allen, too, had heard how Pop died and of course was interested in my singing. He suggested that Sonny White, who had been my accompanist, and I turn it into music. So the three of us got together and did the job in about three weeks." -Billie Holiday

In interviews, Holiday said that whenever she performed Strange Fruit in the South there was trouble. She told one newspaper that she was driven out of Mobile, Alabama, for trying to sing it. In fact, Holiday made few southern tours, and there's little evidence that she sang Strange Fruit when she did.

Claims that the song was banned from the radio are equally hard to document, but not hard to believe; radio stations played few records then, and rarely anything controversial. "WNEW [in New York] has been trying to get up the courage to allow Billie Holiday, singing at Café Society, to render the anti-lynching song - Strange Fruit Growing on the Trees Down South - on one of the night spot's regular broadcasts," the New York Post reported in November 1939. "Station turned thumbs down a week ago, but approved the number for last night's airing. Then it said 'no' again, but has agreed to let Billie sing it tonight at 1 o'clock." According to one published report, the song was also banned from the BBC.

This is when music had a message ... what is YOUR music teaching us?

Color Healing 1 Red

2009-12-09T09:38:00.000-05:00

Red

Red is any of a number of similar colors evoked by light consisting predominantly of the longest wavelengths of light discernible by the human eye, in the wavelength range of roughly 625-740 nm. Longer wavelengths than this are called infrared, or below red and cannot be seen by the naked human eye. Red is used as one of the additive primary colors of light, complementary to cyan, in RGB color systems. Red is also one of the subtractive primary colors of RYB color space but not CMYK color space.

In human color psychology, red is associated with heat, energy and blood, and emotions that "stir the blood", including anger, passion, and love.

Red's wavelength has been an important factor in laser technologies as red lasers, used in early compact disc technologies, are being replaced by blue lasers, as red's longer wavelength causes the laser's recordings to take up more space on the disc than blue lasers.[10] Red light is also used to preserve night vision in low-light or night-time situations, as the rod cells in the human eye aren't sensitive to red. Red is used as one of the additive primary colors of light, complementary to cyan, in RGB color systems. Red is also one of the subtractive primary colors of RYB color space but not CMYK color space.

One common use of red as an additive primary color is in the RGB color model. Because "red" is not by itself standardized, color mixtures based on red are not exact specifications of color either. In order to produce exact colors the color red needs to be defined in terms of an absolute color space such as sRGB. As used in computer monitors and television screens, red is very variable, but some systems may apply color correction (so that a standardized "red" is produced that is not in fact full intensity of only the red colorant).

A red filter used in black and white photography increases contrast in most scenes. For example, combined with a polarizer, it can turn the sky black. Films simulating the effects of infrared film (such as Ilford's SFX 200) do so by being much more sensitive to red than to other colors. Red illumination was (and sometimes still is) used as a "safelight" while working in a darkroom, as it does not expose most photographic paper and some films. Though many more modern darkrooms use an amber safelight, red illumination is closely associated with the darkroom in the public mind.

Etymology and Definitions

The word red comes from the Old English read. Further back, the word can be traced to the Proto-Germanic rauthaz and the Proto-Indo European root reudh-.

This is the only color word which has been traced to an Indo-European root.

In Sanskrit, the word rudra means red. In the English language, the word red is associated with the color of blood, certain flowers (i.e. roses), and ripe fruits (i.e. apples, cherries). Fire is also strongly connected, as is the sun and the sky at sunset.

Healthy people are often said to have a redness to their skin color (as opposed to be appearing pale). After the rise of socialism in the mid-19th century, red was to describe revolutionary movements. The word is also obviously associated with anything of the color occupying the lower end of the visible light spectrum, such as red hair or red soil.

Red Indians is a British term for Native Americans, American terms for this ethnic group include redskin, redhead and red man, though they are not the preferred terms.

In Nature

In astronomy, stars of spectral type M (the stars with the coolest temperature) are classified as red stars.

Mars is called the Red Planet because of the reddish color imparted to its surface by the abundant iron oxide present there. Astronomical objects which are moving away from the observer exhibit a red shift.

Jupiter's surface displays a Great Red Spot, a football-shaped area south of the planet's equator. Astronomers believe the spot to be some kind of storm.

Oxygenated blood is red due to the presence of oxygenated hemoglobin.

Red light is the first to be absorbed by sea water, so that many fish and marine invertebrates that appear bright red are black in their native habitat.

When used about animal coloration red usually refers to a brownish, reddish-brown or ginger color. In this sense it is used to describe coat colors of reddish-brown cattle and dogs, and in the names of various animal species or breeds such as red fox, red squirrel, red deer, Robin Redbreast, Red Grouse, Red Knot, Redstart, Redwing, Red Setter, Red Devon cattle etc.

The usage for animal color appears similar to that for red ochre, red hair and Red Indian.

Red appears to be rarely used in names of animals which are a brighter blood-red or scarlet color (Carmine Bee-eater, Scarlet Tanager). When used for flowers, red often refers to purplish (red deadnettle, red clover, red helleborine) or pink (red campion, red valerian) colors.

Symbolism

Aggression, anger, blood, blushing, stop, Communism, courage, danger, guilt, energy, fire, hate, hell, honor, leadership, passion, socialism, sacrifice, sex, sin, violence, negativity, warning.

A biblical example is found in Isaiah: "Though your sins be as scarlet, they shall be white as snow." Also, The Scarlet Letter an 1850 American novel by Nathaniel Hawthorne, features a woman in a Puritan New England community who is punished for adultery with ostracism, her sin represented by a red letter 'A' sewn into her clothes. This all comes from a general Hebrew view inherited by Christianity which associates red with the blood of murder, as well as with guilt in general.

Another popular example of this is in the phrase "caught red-handed", meaning either caught in an act of crime or caught with the blood of murder still on one's hands. At one point, red was associated with prostitutes, or now, with brothels (red-light districts).

In Roman Catholicism, red represents wrath, one of the Seven Deadly Sins. In Christianity, Satan is usually depicted as colored red and/or wearing a red costume in both iconography and popular culture. Statistics have shown that red cars are more likely to be involved in accidents.

The color red is associated with lust, passion, love, and beauty as well. The association with love and beauty is possibly related to the use of red roses as a love symbol. Both the Greeks and the Hebrews considered red a symbol of love, as well as sacrifice. Psychological research has shown that men find women who are wearing red more attractive.

Courage and Sacrifice

Red is also used as a symbol of courage and sacrifice, as in blood spilt in sacrifice or courage in the face of lethal danger. Examples of this are found in the flags of many nations including the United States, as well as in the novel The Red Badge of Courage, in which a soldier in the American Civil War discovers the meaning of courage.

Besides the association with guilt previously mentioned, in Christianity, red represents the color of Christian martyrs who suffered death for their faith. It is sometimes used for Holy Thursday and during Eastertide, and red green and white is the color scheme of Christmas. In Roman Catholic tradition it is used for all feast days of Christian martyrs as well as Palm Sunday in anticipation of the death of Jesus.

Along the same lines, red is associated in Roman mythology with the god of war, Mars. A Roman general receiving a triumph had his entire body painted red in honor of his achievement.The phrase "red-blooded" describes someone who is audacious, robust, or virile.

In English heraldry, red (called gules) denoted ardent affection or love, while crimson (blood-color) stood for boldness, enthusiasm, or impetuosity.

Warning

Red catches people's attention, and is often used either in a negative way to indicate danger and emergency, or in a positive way in advertising to gain more viewers, or in nature, as a ripe fruit announces its readiness with its red color. Several studies have indicated that red carries the strongest reaction of all the colors, with the level of reaction decreasing gradually with orange, yellow, and white, respectively. Because of this, scientists have repeatedly recommended red for warning signals, labels, and signs. Because of these recommendations, red has seen widespread use as a danger signal, in stop signs, to warn people of extreme heat or flammability, and even to signal warnings in sports such as soccer.

In Religion

Red may represent fire and so may symbolize the presence of God.

In Christianity, red is the liturgical color for Pentecost. Also, in the Catholic Church red is the color of a martyr.

In Islam red is the color for sacrificement and courage. Many Islamic states have it as a sign of the courage of Muslims and the sacrifice of their lives for what is good.

In Metaphysics

In metaphysics red connects with the root chakra.

Alice Bailey developed a system called the Seven Rays, where she classified humans into seven different metaphysical psychological types, the "sixth ray" of "love-devotion" is represented by the color red. People who have this metaphysical psychological type are said to be "on the Red Ray".

Psychics who claim to be able to observe the aura with their third eye report that a red aura is associated with a love of sports and physical exercise.

Red Crystals

In Non-Western Traditions

In China, red is the symbol of fire and the south (both south in general and Southern China specifically). It carries a largely positive connotation, being associated with courage, loyalty, honor, success, fortune, fertility, happiness, passion, and summer. In Chinese cultural traditions, red is associated with weddings (where brides traditionally wear red dresses) and red paper is also frequently used to wrap gifts of money or other things. Special red packets called hong bao as in Mandarin or lai see as in Cantonese - are specifically used during the Chinese New Year to give monetary gifts. On the more negative end, obituaries are traditionally written in red ink, and to write someone's name in red signals either cutting them out of your life, or that they have died. Red is also associated with both the feminine yin and the masculine yang, depending on the source. When someone commits suicide, especially a female, and wants to haunt their loved one, they will dress in red from top to bottom before carrying out the act.

In Japan, red is a traditional color for a heroic figure.

In the Indian Sub-continent, red is the traditional color of bridal dresses, and is frequently represented in the media as a symbolic color for married women. The color is associated with sexuality in marriage relationships through its connection to heat and fertility. It is also the color of wealth, beauty, and the goddess Lakshmi.

In Central Africa, Ndembu warriors rub themselves with red during celebrations. Since their culture sees the color as a symbol of life and health, sick people are also painted with it. Like most Central African cultures, the Ndembu see red as ambivalent, better than black, but not as good as white.[39] In other parts of Africa, however, red is a color of mourning, representing death. Because of the connection red bears with death in many parts of Africa, the Red Cross has changed its colors to green and white in parts of the continent.

The Power of Positive Attitude

2009-12-08T16:34:00.000-05:00

by Remez Sasson
Positive attitude helps to cope more easily with the daily affairs of life. It brings optimism into your life, and makes it easier to avoid worry and negative thinking. If you adopt it as a way of life, it will bring constructive changes into your life, and makes them happier, brighter and more successful. With a positive attitude you see the bright side of life, become optimistic and expect the best to happen. It is certainly a state of mind that is well worth developing and strengthening.
Positive attitude manifests in the following ways:
Positive thinking.
Constructive thinking.
Creative thinking.
Expecting success.
Optimism.
Motivation to accomplish your goals.
Being inspired.
Choosing happiness.
Not giving up.
Looking at failure and problems as blessings in disguise.
Believing in yourself and in your abilities.
Displaying self-esteem and confidence.
Looking for solutions.
Seeing opportunities.
A positive attitude leads to happiness and success and can change your whole life. If you look at the bright side of life, your whole life becomes filled with light. This light affects not only you and the way you look at the world, but also your whole environment and the people around you. If it is strong enough, it becomes contagious.
The benefits of a positive attitude:
Helps achieving goals and attaining success.
Success achieved faster and more easily.
More happiness.
More energy.
Greater inner power and strength.
The ability to inspire and motivate yourself and others.
Fewer difficulties encountered along the way.
The ability to surmount any difficulty.
Life smiles at you.
People respect you.
Negative attitude says: you cannot achieve success.Positive attitude says: You can achieve success.
If you have been exhibiting a negative attitude and expecting failure and difficulties, it is now the time to change the way you think. It is time to get rid of negative thoughts and behavior and lead a happy and successful life. Why not start today? If you have tried and failed, it only means that you have not tried enough.
Developing a positive attitude that will lead you to happiness and success:
- Choose to be happy.
- Look at the bright side of life.
- Choose to be and stay optimistic.
- Find reasons to smile more often.
- Have faith in yourself and in the Power of the Universe.
- Contemplate upon the futility of negative thinking and worries.
- Associate yourself with happy people.
- Read inspiring stories.
- Read inspiring quotes.
- Repeat affirmations that inspire and motivate you.
- Visualize only what you want to happen.
- Learn to master your thoughts.
- Learn concentration and meditation.
Following even only one of the above suggestions, will bring more light into your life!

Message of The Day

2009-12-08T16:28:00.000-05:00

Your true challenge is your own boredom - this lack of a new direction or stimuli. Have more patience, don't spoil things by being over anxious - organize and bring order to your personal life. Clarify things in order to prevent any misunderstandings and do not allow anyone or anything to dominate your thinking. You have lived in this unpleasant, unsatisfying situation long enough - it is time to make a change! You are becoming confined by non-universal, puritanical and moralistic beliefs that inhibit your total personal expression and the liberation of your human potential. You will have the energy you need to move in new directions. Apply yourself - remain balanced and in harmony with the energy that surrounds you. When you jump into a new experience, leaving behind safe situations and past successes to enter the unknown - you liberate so much emotion and energy that you cannot avoid the wonder and enchantment or the fear that goes with it. Allow yourself to experience this freedom!
There may be difficulty in taking this step, in understanding its implications, in choosing the correct discipline for yourself. There may be many choices competing for your dedication or it may be hard clarifying a choice already made. Some of what beckons you must be regarded with care, much as with the calls of sirens at sea. Pursue your visions with a discerning eye, ever cautious that the discernment does not deteriorate into discrimination.
Questions to Answer: What two ideas are you bringing together in a new and different way? What are you planning to accomplish? What are you competent at? What conflicting desires do you wish to integrate? At what threshold do you stand? What options do you have?

A NOTE ABOUT EVIL

2009-12-07T11:21:00.000-05:00

AND THE ABSENCE OF SATAN:
In traditional Ifa, there is no hell and there is no Satan or devil. Olodumare (God) is the creator of all things and all forces. The breath of Olodumare gives life to all that exists in heaven and earth. The result of Olorun's life-force is balance. It is harmony, equal and opposite potentials in all things, forming what we know as all things in nature, physics, and basic mathematics. Even the smallest definitive particle of matter, the atom, is built of negative and positive forces which have formed in harmony to make one cohesive thing. Disrupting that balance results in destructive energy, causing severe disaster. Such disruption is called “atomic explosion”. Conversely, balanced flow of potential results in productive energy. We see the results of such productive energy in the use of lighting, heating, machines, appliances, and other things. The productive energy is generated by a balanced flow of sub-atomic particles, in which the balance of negative and positive potentials within each atom is maintained.

Each human, as well as each spiritual entity, has negative and positive potentials. Good and evil are the results of using these positive and negative potentials toward productive (good) or destructive (evil) energy. We see the results of productive energy in acts of love, kindness, nurturing, generosity, and helping. In expediting such acts, our potentials remain balanced. The results of our own destructive energy are seen in acts of greed, violence, cruelty, and bigotry, to name a few. In these acts, our potentials are pushed out of balance. We ruin ourselves and hurt others around us. The only evil we can ever face is that evil which we may become if we choose imbalance and destructive energy. We can end up battling our own evil or the evil of others. Regardless, evil is only the result of a choice. It is not something brought on by the guidance (or misguidance) at the hand of some purely malevolent entity.

There is no devil, in this physical world or in the spirit world, to blame for the evils in human history. A purely malevolent entity can not exist, exercising it's destructive energy. When the atomic bomb is used, it's negative and positive potentials are forced out of balance and it's destructive energy destroys the designated target and everything around it. In doing this, the bomb itself, the source of the destructive energy, is also destroyed. Hence, any purley malevolent entity is also not balanced, and would destroy itself. With this knowledge, humans can not continue to disclaim responsibility for their own choices. We can not continue to blame some non-existent demonic entity for the evils committed on earth. We must be responsible people, making our choices wisely, and doing our best to promote human life. We must choose balance over imbalance, good over evil. It is all within our own potential.

Message of The Day

2009-12-06T13:14:00.000-05:00

You are experiencing the despair felt after a defeat. See how your mind creates doubt and pessimism - look directly at your defeatist thinking. You defeat yourself with your own doubt and skepticism. It is time that you look at changing your own attitudes - let go of your pride and release this narrow view point - your own "ego" is inhibiting you. An old wound has been opened and you are experience fear associated with that memory - thoughts that history might repeat itself or that you could be hurt again. Your vision has been distorted by the past. Allow yourself to be sensitive to this deception in a personal situation - be receptive to the things that are causing you all these emotional problems. When you are involved in an unfair decision that is hard to correct - be patient with your emotions.

Too much or too little mental freedom - uncertainty. Too many or too few choices. Mind looks at itself ineffectively and will tend to be too passive and lax or will be over enthusiastic and cause havoc. Criticism of self and others can be harsh and inaccurate. A sharp tongue. A sense of mental loss rather than gain. Anger, confusion, argument, covering things up, impulsive, impatient, hasty, nervous, stubborn, complacent. Inappropriate worry, sadness, depression, disappointment, guilt or shame. The general is concentrating on his plan of retreat.

Questions to Answer: Do you expect to get "stung" in this situation? What are you afraid of? What is causing division in the solidarity of your group? Why don't you feel good about what you are doing? What do you need in order to feel good? What would be the ethical thing to do? What is so important to you that you have to prove everyone else wrong?

Feed Thy Soul

2009-12-06T13:13:00.001-05:00

Adapted from Mindful Moments for Stressful Days, by Tzivia Gover (Storey Books, 2002).

If of thy mortal good thou art bereft
And of thy slender store two loaves alone to thee are left,
Sell one, and with the dole
Buy hyacinths to feed thy soul.
–Saadi

Most of us make a list every week of what we need to fill our pantry. How about making a weekly grocery list for your soul as well?

This simple, delightful how-to gives fresh energy and focus to our body-mind-spirit connection. It’s so easy, and so much fun! Making a Grocery List for your soul is a great first step toward honoring the needs of your inner self. Prepare to be more nourished and satisfied with your life: here are the easy directions.

First, give some real time and thought to the activities or things you need in order to continue nourishing a conscious lifestyle.

Now make a “shopping list” of the things you love, the things your heart and soul need. A morning set aside to garden? An hour alone? A long, hot bath? A half-hour to read poetry? A massage? Fresh flowers in your bedroom? A visit to your spiritual home, be it a church, synagogue, or spot in nature that inspires awe in you? A simple meal and heart-to-heart with a close friend? A trip to a museum or art gallery? A long walk in the woods?

Make a commitment to your inner self to take time every week for at least one of these things. It is important to feed the Spirit no less than the body: help yours feel full.

Affirmation of The Day

2009-12-03T05:50:00.001-05:00

I love my frustration. (You cannot go past your frustration, for instance, but you can go through it. Love your frustration and it will change. There is power in acceptance and love. If you battle your frustration, it will entrench itself.)

Message of The Day

2009-12-03T05:48:00.000-05:00

Mastery of building new and fulfilling worlds by nurturing the creative aspects of life. A talented energy - family oriented and charitable. She possess a great business intellect which is not afraid of hard work. She tends to become despondent at times, retiring inward for rejuvenation - but, over all she is able to use her talent well and be happy at work or at home. She possesses the finest of the "quieter" qualities - greatness of heart, strong intuition and instinct. She is a quiet, hard working, practical, sensible person - fully aware of her "inner" self. She knows and believes in herself and the magic of her life - having joined forces with the Universe - allowing it to flow through her into her daily life.

Dependable, resourceful, can-doer. Watchful, very generous, good instincts - a good physical leader. Great endurance, ruled by the drive of the heart. Mother/provider, mother earth, naturalist - concern for physical health and the safety of the family. Nourishment. Channel for practical information.

Questions to Answer: How are you channeling your physical resources? Who inspires your need for practical skills and nurtures your desire for knowledge? Who is reliable and trustworthy? How are you grounded in Mother Earth?

Message of The Day

2009-12-02T06:57:00.000-05:00

When money, work and other important matters seem to be at a standstill - you need encouragement. Recognize now that "fear" is the powerful force that is causing you to hold onto the secure - no matter how unpleasant your situation is. It is time for you to begin to release the people in your life who are irresponsible. Recognize that their impatient attitude affects their progress. People who are timid and make a lot of mistakes, have received some hard knocks in their lifetime and they may be seeking the security of love. Dissatisfied with everything and everyone, they are looking for a new start.

Your awareness will now awaken. Your mild personality has been taken to far, resulting in weakness and depression. You are repressing your desire for adventure and greater advancement and in so doing, the meaning has been taken away from your dedicated goals. Discouragement and depression have overcome you because you are identifying yourself with your functions. Focus on the magic - seek to discover the real source of your strength.

Distortion - nonathletic vs. over athletic. Lazy vs. hyperactive. Poor worker, impractical, careless vs. overly exacting.

Questions to Answer: Who is stable and reliably there for you? Who is committed to security and conventions? How is it going at work or on a project? What needs of your body or Mother Earth are you sensitive to?

If I Could Write You

2009-12-01T23:38:00.003-05:00

If i could write you and share you with the world,
i would start out by explaining how
when i am in your presence,
time stands still.
so still that i can,
touch the wind with my finger tips and
kiss wings of butterflies while they are mid air.

scratch that

If i could write you as a poem for them to read,
i would,
paint the picture of that secret garden found in all the fairy tale.
where i am
able to escape all of my sad memories
and make new happy ones that only exist of
your eyes, your smile, and your scent.

If i could write you,
it would be similar to wishing on stars,
dandelion fluff,
lingering eyelashes
or even
that wish right before i throw my penny into the well.
Because
It's priceless.
Priceless because it has come true.

If i could write you,
i would illustrate picnicking on a summers day,
by a river, with out favorite song playing
as we lay on our favorite blanket reminiscing on our favorite past time together
yes. I would write this.

And i would continue to write you by
giving a line by line description of
flowers.
the intoxicating scent,
clean fragrance.
in lavish bouquets,
in shy woodland sprays,
growing wild in meadows and gardens...
dried and pressed into the scrapbook i made for us
...worn like a crown in my nappy fro as a
reminder that no matter where i am
you are always there with me

If i could write you,
i would make it clear to the world how you are like
an old windmill next to the lighthouse,
like
swings made of wood and rope
like
second hand shops
like
watching the sunset
like
licking snowflakes
and even like dancing in the rain

your perfectly imperfect

i take all of this back.

If i could write you....

i would not write you at all.
I would not want to share you with anyone.
I would keep you as my beautiful secret

i wouldn't even write you in my journal because i would not like to share this feeling with anyone.

Its only between my heart and my soul.
So
If i could write you
I wouldn't.

©iOs

Message of The Day

2009-11-30T06:51:00.001-05:00

You are experiencing information overload. Clear your mind and put your thoughts in order. In a situation where there has been mental or physical abuse - you need distance and support so that you can gain a new perspective. With distance it is possible to rise above the situation so that you can see the larger pattern, determine some meaning behind it and what actions are necessary. There are times when it is proper to leave others behind, in order to break through relationship patterns that obsess and bind you.

When you feel locked into a difficult set of circumstances - nothing can be accomplished - center yourself and wait. Difficult though your life may be - it will change. Go deep within yourself and seek spiritual guidance. Think carefully now and ask yourself if you have considered everything. Communicate any new ideas or decisions in such an objective way that they can be received and heard. Focus your mind and allow yourself to see the whole picture.

When your balance and peace are disturbed - your passage is no longer serene - your emotions are stirred up and your physical or spiritual journey becomes stormy. Trying to "attack" a long standing problem - especially one that has been accepted by others - only agitates the situation. Unsatisfying or oppressive situations can go quietly along for years until someone decides to do something about it. Trying to remove the swords from the boat will sink it - they are plugging up the holes. When "swords" symbolize unhappy memories where "silence" has become the defense, communication will be painful - but it will also begin the healing process.

Distortions - either too much or too little. Mental retreat. Procrastination. Deterrence from projects at hand. Interference of emotions in mental work. Defensive, neurotic mind.

Questions to Answer: What immediate problems are you attempting to solve? Where will you go to solve them? Where in your life right now is mental clarity important? How are you liberating your mind from clutter and false ideas so that you can think clearly? When you step back from your problem to gain a clear perspective, what do you see?

A Mothers Touch

2009-11-30T04:27:00.003-05:00

The things a mother will do for her son, the wonderful, special things that only a mother’s touch can satisfactorily achieve: picking glass out of their hand, wiping a dock leaf over their nettle-stung knee, tweezering out bee stings, wiping chocolate off their face with a spit-dampened tissue, and… wanking them off three times a day?

There is a sickening ass account on a forum called Female First from a mother who religiously tossed off her son in order to “straighten his penis”.

The whole charade reads like the script to a low budget Asian hardcore porn film set in a fictitious town in Alabama, and gets stranger and stranger as it goes on.

Read the mother’s opening post below.

My son is 19 and though I have not seen him nude since he was a boy, I had seen him by accident about 6 months ago, when he had somehow ended up falling asleep naked in his room after a shower with his door wide open. He was on his back and erect in his sleep. I noticed his hard-on had a severe curve upward. It was bent very sharply like curling up backwards. I had never seen anything like that on any man. It is about 7″ long approximately and is bent more toward the tip in a definite shape of a letter “j”, or a hook, to attempt to describe it to you.

I was so shocked that I panicked, and woke him up right then and there. Thinking back, it was not very tactful, but I could not wait to try to get at what appeared to be a real problem. It all made sense, how he would not shower at gym class, and didn’t date, despite being a very well built and handsome boy into sports always. I had always wondered if might be gay, though he denied it always. He awoke surprised and shy that he was naked, but I moved his hands from his erect penis, and asked him what was the matter.

We sat and talked after locking his bedroom door. He told me it had started when he was like 12 and got worse, and as I examined it more closely and attempted to straighten it out, it would straighten only very slightly before it would hurt him to force it any further. It being erect, it was very hard and stiff. We allowed it to subside by him putting on his robe a while, and was considerably more normal in the soft state, yet still tending to be curved upwards slightly.

I could straighten it easily while soft, but it would bend back up like rubber. As he became erect again it curled up before my eyes into the “j” hook shape.

Now the doctors all said he is fine and it’s normal as far as being a medical issue. They said they could operate to attempt to fix it, but the cost was out of my reach. I am a single parent. So we took trying our own methods, in which I would tell him to stroke it straight whenever he thought about it, and while masturbating to attempt to work the curl out a little more each time.

I had taken a little massage therapy classes in the past, and I even work on it for an hour or so 3 days of every week in the evening. It was embarrassing for us both in the beginning and I know it still it is, and even more so that he ejaculates every time during the massage, but it turned out to make massaging it in the post-ejaculation, semi-soft state really effective because then I can massage it and straighten it. It curls back in my hands and I massage it straight over and over again, until he becomes erect again and semi hard again after ejaculation, three times in a row, usually over a span of an hour to an hour and a half.

It has given good results, as I would say he is 50 percent improved. I continue to treat him 3 days a week.

I am here to ask anyone with information on this condition for advice and/or tips technics on how we can further correct this.

He says he does try to train his penis on his own like I tell him to, but he says he ends up just masturbating and it's hard for him to stay on it for any length of time. I am not only trained in massage, but I will devote nearly two hours, three times a week on him, so he may someday be able to live a normal life and date girls. I wont quit after ejaculating once in 10 minutes like he does trying to do it alone. When I massage him I use two hands and work it in a professional tissue massage.

When I do it, his first ejaculation wont happen for maybe 15-20 minutes, since I am massaging him, not masturbating him as he ends up doing on his own when he is trying to be doing what I taught him. On his own he gets bored after the first ejaculation, and does someting else. When I train and massage his penis tissue, I will continue on him after the first cum, and he will produce 3 ejaculations in all every session before we are considered finished. We decided that I will do all the massage, and he doesn't need to worry about trying to massage, and free to enjoy normal masturbation for pleasure.

It's heart breaking to me that he will not date with it in this condition, and I am devoted to helping him all I can. We have become closer than ever in our lives, and are going through this together. In the beginning his penis was like a horseshoe at the tip, and when he would orgasm, it would actually shoot backward, we are in my opinion 50 percent of the way there, and his ejaculations squirt upward not backward at this point. I am hoping with all my heart, that in 6 more months, he will be as close to recovered as to pass off as totaly normal in appearance and performance.

Go ahead and say it. This shit is sick!
But what would make a mother go THIS far?
Comments are strongly desired

source

Childhood Memories

2009-11-29T15:47:00.003-05:00

Talked to my best friend from Grade School.
KJ.
Haven't talked in years.
Never stopped being best friends,
we just lost touch.

Use to be four of us that hung out together

out of the four

we are the only two "doing" something.

She and i would be up late hours

listening to each other breathe

sharing our day

talking about what we "wanted to be"

what we didn't want to be.

she is a scorpio as well.

born november the 8th

her life path is 6

we're so similar in so many ways

our strengths

our down falls

she is a great friend.

Shaquerra called me on Thanksgiving to see how i was. The conversation didn't last very long seeing as how we have grown so far apart, but it lasted long enough for her to say, "KJ's mother passed away. She has been looking for you, but no one knew how to get in touch with you."

It felt like my heart stopped beating for a brief moment. She wasn't just KJ's mother, she was mine too. My mother away from home. Whatever i could not say to my mom, i would say to her. She was so easy to talk to, ao caring, heart bigger than the universe. She was everything to a lot of us. She would pick up the phone during KJ and I's conversation and become apart of it lol. KJ wouls get frustrated, but i would be so tickled. She was and still is such a beautiful woman.

The last conversation i had with her was so many years ago but it was a great one. We were wishing each other happy birthday. Since we shared that date. [Even MORE reason why she is so special lol]

She will be missed.
And since i didn't get to tell her thank you and/or goodbye. I decided to do it Today.

Dear Momma Rosalind,
You already know how much you will be missed. You were and still are the greatest thing to a lot of us as we grew to become what we are today. You have touched many hearts by just opening yours and allowing us to feel your warmth and comfort. You were loved, is loved, and will always be loved. Rest in Peace Momma Ros. We will meet again.
Love Iba

It is a shame how many of us talk our life for granted. Constantly complaining yet never stopping to take one minute to give thanks for being allowed to wake and even see another day. So, as i said earlier, Today [as well as every other day] I will breathe for the ancestors, family members, and friends i have lost. They are all beautifull souls rather they are here or not.

Give thanks.
Peace

A Time for Everything

2009-11-28T11:27:00.002-05:00

Ecclesiastes 3
¹ There is a time for everything,
and a season for every activity under heaven:
² a time to be born and a time to die,
a time to plant and a time to uproot,
³ a time to kill and a time to heal,
a time to tear down and a time to build,
⁴ a time to weep and a time to laugh,
a time to mourn and a time to dance,
⁵ a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them,
a time to embrace and a time to refrain,
⁶ a time to search and a time to give up,
a time to keep and a time to throw away,
⁷ a time to tear and a time to mend,
a time to be silent and a time to speak,

Today, i pulled the Wheel of Fortune the message is:

Think about several things in your life that you value, note your appreciation for what they are here and now but remind yourself that it is your sense of appreciation that is truly important for that is something that comes from within. Almost every definition of this card indicates abundance, happiness, elevation, or luck; a change that just happens, and brings with it great joy.

Health Benefits of Honey

2009-11-27T05:05:00.002-05:00

The 3 key health benefits of honey are related to the fact that:

1. Honey is nature’s energy booster

2. Honey is a great immunity system builder

3. Honey is a natural remedy for some ailments

Read below for details.

Nature’s Energy Booster

The benefits of honey go beyond its great taste. A great natural source of carbohydrates which provide strength and energy to our bodies, honey is known for its effectiveness in instantly boosting the performance, endurance and reduce muscle fatigue of athletes. Its natural fruit sugars play an important role in preventing fatigue during exercise. The glucose in honey is absorbed by the body quickly and gives an immediate energy boost, while the fructose is absorbed more slowly providing sustained energy. It is known that honey has also been found to keep levels of blood sugar fairly constant compared to other types of sugar. So, to experience these health benefits of honey, here are a few tips for you:

1. Next time before you go for a workout, take a spoon of honey to enable you to go for the extra mile.

2. If you are feeling low and lethargic in the morning, instead of reaching out for a can of carbonated energy drink , try honey. Spread it on hot toast or replace the sugar in your tea with it for a refreshing surge of energy.

3. If your kids are finding hard to cope with the physical strain from the buzzing activities at school, prepare them some sandwiches with honey, butter and ham to make sure they have enough energy to sustain through the day. My kids are delighted when they see me prepare warm honey water in their bottles. They couldn't care a bit about the health benefits of honey, but simply love the taste of it!

Immunity System Builder

Amongst the many health benefits of honey, what is most impressive to me – it can be a powerful immune system booster. Honey’s antioxidant and anti-bacterial properties can help improve digestive system and help you stay healthy and fight disease. Start every brand new day with this cleansing tonic if you want to see this health benefit of honey: before breakfast, mix a spoonful of honey and lemon juice from half a lemon into a cup of warm water and drink it.

Honey Remedy for Ailments

FOR CUTS AND BURNS:

For thousands of years, honey has been recognized as one of the most natural home remedies to treat a wide range of ailments and complaints including yeast infection , athlete foot , and arthritis pain. Its antiseptic properties inhibits the growth of certain bacteria and helps keep external wounds clean and free from infection. Honey has been used as a natural cure in first aid treatment for wounds, burns and cuts as it is able to absorb moisture from the air and promote healing. Its antibacterial properties prevent infection and functions as an anti-inflammatory agent, reducing both swelling and pain, and even scarring. It is widely believed that UMF Manuka is the preferred honey for wound dressing due to its strong antibacterial property.

FOR HANGOVERS:

When you get a hangover from drinking too much alcohol, combat its effects by applying honey remedy. Honey is gentle on the stomach and contains a mix of natural sugars such fructose which is known to speed up the oxidation of alcohol by the liver, acting as a 'sobering' agent. Follow this recipe: 15ml of liquid honey with 80ml of orange juice and 70ml of natural yogurt. Blend them together until smooth.

FOR SORE THROATS:

One of the better known health benefits of honey is that it is able to help treat sore throats. Thanks to its antimicrobial properties, honey not only soothes throats but can also kill certain bacteria that causes the infection. Professional singers commonly use honey to soothe their throats before performances. The Chinese believe that excess "heatiness" in the body causes sore throat and taking honey drink can be helpful. Direction: Take a spoonful of honey to soothe the inflammation or gargle with a mixture of two tablespoons of honey, four tablespoons of lemon juice and a pinch of salt. Personally, whenever I have a sore throat or cough, I especially like to take warm water mixed with Manuka UMF honey which is well-known for its anti-bacterial healing properties.

For SLEEPLESSNESS:

Unable to sleep? Use the famous Milk and Honey Remedy. Take a glass of hot milk with a teaspoon of honey to calm the soul and induce sleep. Or, add 1 or 2 teaspoons of honey to a cup of chamomile tea and sip.

source

SUN AND MOON

2009-11-27T05:01:00.000-05:00

Author: Trina Quinn

You're like the sunshine you brighten my day
With everything you do and all that you say
I'm like the moon so dark and cold,
Without you in my arms to hold.

Like the sun and the moon we're so far apart
But you're always with me here in my heart
When I see you, I glow when you shine on me
Like the sun on the moon across mountain and sea.

But when we're together and I kiss your lips
It's so wonderfully special like a total eclipse
As we drift apart slowly on me, your light glows
Like the space between us my love for you grows.

FUNdaMENTAL Questions

2009-11-24T09:37:00.001-05:00

Who are you?
What are you doing?
Where are you going?
Why?
How are you getting there?
When?

How many times have these questions surfaced?
How many times have you brushed them aside?

Miss the fundamental questions
and you miss the point of being human,
the chance to answer them, to awaken.
Miss them and you miss Enlightenment.

the long drawn out explanation of the classic scorpio

2009-11-23T20:18:00.004-05:00

The Scorpio represents one of the strongest, most intelligent signs of the zodiac. He or she has a deep well of strength that, if tapped into, can produce a powerful ally, or a vindictive enemy. A huge abundance of energy usually makes this person a powerful achiever and go-getter; the Scorpio is not lazy. Though their worst fault is jealousy, in all arenas, they also have the power within to turn this around and DO something about it.

Above all, the Scorpio represents the Phoenix, that ancient symbol of death and resurrection from the ashes of youth, that fire that never dies but merely rises above and continues to change into something else. An argument is not merely an argument to a Scorpio, nor is it a chance to butt heads, but rather an experience of expressing and listening so that both participants can "rise above" and come out in a better position than when they began. This energy of the Scorpio is also frequently seen in sports, and needs to be properly channeled in order to be given full expression.[i would continue highlighting, but that would be me giving you the answer. carry on]

Scorpios have an uncanny ability to get to the root of any problem, and they have a rawness of perception that makes them almost psychic. Their deep, incisive analytical mind makes them natural detectives or spies, and they are frequently workaholics, cramming each work day with hours of productiveness. They are excellent, relentless workers and excel in anything involving the Eighth House: trusts and inheritances, mortuaries, psychology and counseling, and the occult. They are masters at using other people's money to build their own fortunes, and can be extravagantly generous to charities or other worthy causes.

The mystery sign of the zodiac, Scorpios are frequently intriguing, with a truly dynamic and majestic way of going about a problem or situation. This sign is also the sign of death, but manifests itself in the struggle between the soul and the personality. The personality is usually the loser, because the Scorpio's stinger many times stings itself to death. This is where the Phoenix comes in--to resurrect the person to new heights, a new beginning, or a new way of thinking.

Thus, change is constant for a Scorpio, who is involved all the time in death, rebirth and renewal. For the Scorpio, there is no in-between--life is many times a matter of life and death, black and white, devil vs. angel, etc. They don't know the meaning of indifference, and tend to be either your friend or your enemy. There is no shade of gray. Once you've gained the trust of a Scorpio, you've won him forever--unless you hurt him in some way. Then he can become mean, vindictive, and will attempt to get even.

Scorpios have a very strong reserve, and a lot is hidden below the surface. They command respect from acquaintances due to their strong, quiet exterior, and many times work to earn the respect of close ties. They also usually show a lot of creativity, and a great ability for sarcasm with their deadly tongue, which can get them in trouble. This stinger can also, for some, show as a dark side of cruelty, sadism, and enmity. For others, who are more evolved, the stinger helps them transform their lives for the better. They are truly courageous, not afraid of anything. Their endurance makes them plow ahead, overcoming any obstacle in their path.

Though they are considered the "sexiest" sign of the zodiac, Scorpios have gotten a bad rap for being almost sleazy. They simply have strong passions that need regenerating, and a tremendous pride that seems to say, "Don't judge a book by its cover."

Scorpios are a master at hiding their emotions. They have a tremendous strength and power when they have managed to rise above their personality and seek power not for themselves, but to heal and bless others. They reach their goals through service, purity, compassion and humility. They have a need to redeem and transform their natures, and to have a happy marriage. Their innate curiosity makes them probe deeply into all things, seeking the meaning behind the surface. They dig out concealed facts, and are one of the most intuitive signs of the zodiac. A highly evolved Scorpio is psychic, having a rich inner life that is passionate about metaphysics.

On the negative side, Scorpios can be extremely critical, like their allies the Virgos. This can lead to a difficulty with co-workers because of strong judgments of them. Scorpios need to have more stability and steadiness with partners. Their great stubbornness makes them sometimes outsiders, tending to be lone wolves rather than equal partners in relationships.

A Scorpio woman turns heads and grabs attention by her steamy sexuality. She has the power of presence, and a boldness and need for honesty unparalleled in the zodiac. Never, never lie to her, or she'll cut you off. A passionate lover, she can also be jealous or possessive. What she shows on the outside is not necessarily what she's really feeling, unless she's angry. Her rage can explode, with a sarcasm or a piercing look that really stings. Her intuition can be so developed that she borders on the clairvoyant; this can be seen in her eyes. As a mother, she is fiercely devoted and protective, creating a loving and comfortable home for kids.

A Scorpio man is intense, passionate and private. Everything he does is compelling--the way he dresses, his eyes, the way he walks. He radiates sexual energy, is powerful to ignore--even if you don't like him. Often he has some wonderful talent that he pursues passionately, but he may not get any money for it. He may put his energy into music, art, writing, acting, or astrology, or he may put all his energy into his family. He enjoys sports, especially the more violent ones such as football or hunting.

In romance, no other sign brings such raw power or intensity to a relationship. The question is: how will this intensity be manifested? Will it be in a fury or jealousy? Will it be in fiery, unbridled passion? Take a chance and get involved with the mysterious Scorpio. The ever-changing Scorpio is highly compatible with its polar opposite-- the steady bull, or Taurus--but in an argument neither one will give in. Scorpios are also good matches for other Scorpios, as long as they understand each other's intensity and passion. Other water signs, such as Pisces or Cancer, may prove too weak for the intensity of the Scorpio.

In religion, the Scorpio tends to form bonds with organized religions, enjoying ritual and the sense of belonging there. They may also lean to unorthodox belief systems, with a passion and sincerity that is never dishonest. Because Scorpios are ruled by Pluto--the god of the underworld--they can sometimes have a connection with the ethereal, other world of spirit, which is often metaphysical. They have an ability to transform energy, or change impure selfish desires into the gold of purity. They are fascinated by the big issues of death and life, and are attracted to a religion that leaves room for exploring these.

Scorpios tend to have a few, very intense relationships, rather than a coterie of acquaintances. It may be that the Scorpio's stinger alienates some possible friends; it may be that fewer individuals are capable of flying so close to the sun, or so close to the deeper issues, as the Scorpio does. It may also be that few are capable of rising from its own ashes, of changing--for the good or bad--as a Scorpio can. How many can keep up, to view the new person constantly emerging? Yet it is true that those who enjoy watching the Scorpio as it makes people see the hidden, secret meanings of life--as it rises unscathed and transforms those around it--will be most loyal and appreciative friends.

Above all, Scorpios are survivors. Though they are typically very erotic (their sign rules the sex organs), they don't use people but instead help them transcend themselves. You probably won't forget an encounter with a Scorpio.

don't know how TRUE these are side eye

2009-11-22T05:16:00.001-05:00

In Indian (Vedic) astrology, your zodiac sign determines your karmic path and the challenges you will face during your incarnation in this life. Here is a simple break down of how your zodiac sign can reveal your karma based on past life experiences. (Via)

ARIES
Your challenge may be to put someone else first for a change as you are a fire sign who is very ambitious. Your challenges often have to do with your reputation. Problems with money can arise because of your impulsiveness.

TAURUS
You are a stubborn individual and it may be your challenge to admit for once that you are wrong. Loneliness is often a problem for this sign.

GEMINI
You tend to escape reality and, as talented as you are, you may be presented with situations in this life that force you to be more grounded. Health problems could present themselves. Love triangles are common and fidelity could be another challenge for you.

CANCER
You are very inward looking and shy. Your challenge may be to overcome depression or a “woe is me” attitude. Mental health and relationship problems are common.

LEO
You are a very arrogant and ambitious individual and you may be presented with challenges in this life that force you to be a little less selfish and shallow. Financial problems are common with Lion type karma.

VIRGO
You are a very controlling individual who finds it difficult to let go. You may be presented with situations in this life that compel you to be less rigid. You may often be dealing with situations where you are not credited for your work or you feel unloved.

LIBRA
You are indecisive and you may be forced to make some tough decisions that are out of the ordinary to remedy your karma from other lives. You will learn not to blame others for your problem. The issue is to determine whether you are a martyr or a victim.

SCORPIO
You can be obsessive and too concerned with sex. Your challenge may be to rise beyond the compulsive nature of your desires. You may also be tempted to dabble in the occult.

SAGITTARIUS
You can be wayward and concerned only about your own agenda. Issues of commitment could be challenging in this life if you are born under this zodiac sign.

CAPRICORN
You love money and acquiring possessions. One of your challenges may be realizing that money is not everything in this life. You might also be presented with issues that show you that “everything” does not have to be perfect for you to be loved.

AQUARIUS
You love to be free and to while away the hours in your own mind. Unfortunately, this leads to procrastination. You may face challenges that are the consequences of not being mindful or paying attention to what is important in life.

PISCES
The Pisces zodiac sign is always looking for the other in their life time. The challenge might be how to learn how to be alone or you might face issues of coherency and addiction.

My Seduction

2009-11-22T03:20:00.005-05:00

usually starts with a thrown off conversation, in god knows WHAT direction, anything to get it started. I have a habit of biting my bottom lip and smirking when the conversing gets good. Not to mention this slight stare i give, looking into your eyes, seeing as deep in you as i can. I normally wear shades to cover it up lol, but once the shades are off, normally so are other things.

But i refuse to give away "How Shuny Seduces" but i will share some other things tho. MentalOrgasm and i were talking about The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene. It basically gives you 24 maneuvers and strategies on how to be Seductive. Apparently, there is a "process". Part one gives you 10 different types of Seducers:

Me personally, i believe i am the...well, imma let you tell me which one i am. And don't forget to tell me which one you are as well. *smile* So while looking up the "Seductive Characters", I decided to look up "How to be Seductive", [it amused me a bit]

To be seductive means to be alluring. Whether you're trying to attract the one you desire or you're being romantic with the one you love, seduction plays a major role. Use this guide for ideas on how to be seductive.

Step 1

Get to know the person you want to seduce. Learn what turns him on and what types of things he's into. Find out what his favorite meals are, which scents he enjoys and what things get him in the mood.

Step 2

Prepare yourself to be seductive. Part of seduction is visual. If your girlfriend hates facial hair, shave your beard off. If you have any particular clothing that she finds sexy, wear it. When going out to seduce someone new, dress nice and make yourself look attractive. In any situation, make sure your breath is fresh.

Step 3

Whisper something in his ear. This brings you close enough that your cheeks are either touching or close to touching. You're showing him you're okay with being in close contact. Say something that's seductive and sexy. If there's a physical attribute of his that you appreciate, tell him how it makes you feel.

Step 4

Ask her to join you at a table or to stand outside. Let her know that whatever you do, you just want her to be there with you. Part of seduction is making the other person feel wanted and cared about.

Step 5

Set up a romantic evening. Make or order his favorite food to eat during a candlelit dinner. Wear something sexy underneath your clothes if he's into that. Then, after the main seduction is done, you have a nice surprise for him when he takes off your clothes. Take things slow and enjoy the time you have together.

Step 6

Give her compliments. Tell her the things you find most attractive about her and the things that work when she's trying to seduce you. If she's been working really hard on a project lately, mention how great of a job she's doing. Don't go overboard, or it might sound like you're lying.

Step 7

Have a laid-back attitude. Coming on too strongly isn't seductive and is actually a turn-off. Give yourselves a moment for closeness and make sure both of you are comfortable with the situation.

There was also this "How to seduce Women" [even funnier]

Okay, here’s a basic lesson about seduction for you guys out there: being men, you innately possess all the attractiveness you need to seduce women. He who wears no masks and is in full alignment with his masculinity shall get laid. Powerful words. Still, that’s not the whole story! As much as women will agree to the first part and hate to admit what comes now, learning how to behave plays a significant part in flirting. The “wrong” tenure, body language or composure can screw you big time before you get to screw anyone else. This is why with all the authenticity and sincerity you need, knowing about the right behavioural traits will help you in your journey to learn how to seduce women.

Your mannerisms have to reflect your inner attitude.

Before I open the door to seducer wisdom for you, though, remember that all you learn here has to become a reflection of your innermost being and convictions. Otherwise, it’ll be smoke and mirrors, and you’ll end up pissing your girl off majorly when she discovers that you were trying to pull “techniques” on her. Do not “act” this. BE it. All right, now here we go.

Eye contact.

I find it disconcerting how many people avoid steady and solid eye contact in everyday life, even when they are already in a conversation. You want to get good with women? Start practicing eye contact right now, and I’m talking every person you ever come across here. Once you’re in a conversation with a girl, you want to hold steady eye contact and explore her eyes with true curiosity. They reflect what people think and feel inside. Which brings us to the next point:

Radiate sexual energy.

With a steady eye contact, your thoughts will transmit. There is an energy, an aura, that every person has, and it can be transferred across the physical boundaries of our bodies. If you are sitting close to the girl, perhaps facing her on the same bench (and that’s a situation you hopefully established when you came into the conversation – do not sit across a table, it gives you zero leverage!), and have been building some intensity in eye contact, don’t let your thoughts be about… libraries, bees and flowers or the Ark of the Covenant. This is male-female interaction, spice it up! Think about what it would feel like to kiss her, the texture of her lips (look at them), the taste of her tongue. Think about your breath on her neck. She’ll feel that vibe.

If you’re never even thought about what kind of energy you project, then you’re very likely missing out on an entirely other level of communication with women.

Slow down.

Hectic or quick movements will never spark any gut-level attraction in a woman. Be a lover with a slow hand, a man with an easy touch. Love and seduction are smooth and tender, and so have to be your movements: imagine your movements as one flow – they’re all interconnected, like the movements of a ballet dancer. In a steady flow, escalation is not happening in steps, it is just moving along gaplessly to higher and higher points.

Lower your voice.

A nervous, high-pitched, rushed voice is anything but attractive or even seductive. The real seduction kicks in when you tone down your voice to a croon that still vibrates with low-key energy. In those moments, it doesn’t even matter what you say. I once listened to a girl explain to me the procedures for signing up and paying for a workshop. While she was speaking, I looked deeply into her eyes with calm and desire, and when she was done, when I spoke, it was deep and slow. On the surface, we exchanged simple information, but on a deeper level, a lot of male-female tension was going on.

Establish body contact.

You want to put yourself into a position where you can easily get close to her, touch her, kiss her. If your head is already close to hers, it’s easier to reach her lips as getting up from your chair and walking around the table. Don’t hesitate to touch her legs with yours when sitting next to her, or take her hand when you’re making a point, or stroke her cheek with the back of a finger when she says something cute. Never do so in a clingy or needy way: remember that you are in control of the situation.

Hey *kanye shrug* to each is own. How are YOU seductive? Which character is you? I would love to read your thoughts on this. Someone may need your tips. My only tip: Be yourself.

love and light good people!

Interbeing -

2009-11-21T19:48:00.001-05:00

The dead cow lying in India is rotting.
It "exhales" carbon dioxide,
which drifts to your country,
where it is absorbed by the trees,
which "exhales" oxygen,
which is mixed with the air,
which is drawn in by the air-conditioner into your home,
which is breathed in by you.

Where does the cow or you begin or end?
Are you not the cow too?
In this way and so much more,
we are inter-connected to everything.

We exist interdependently;
we are dependently-originated.
We do not exist independently.

l|o|v|e -

2009-11-21T19:46:00.000-05:00

What is the difference between the two relationships?

1. Deep friendship between two best friends
2. Love between two lovers

Other than a mix
of physical attachment (lust) and mental attachment?
Can't two friends be just as committed to each other
as lovers are?

If you are unsure,
it is time to reflect
on the meaning of spiritual love,
on the meaning of spiritual friendship.

This Week In Black Beauty

2009-11-21T04:45:00.002-05:00

Profile > portfolio > dbrownphotos's Photos

Profile > portfolio > Absolutroyalt's Photos

Profile > portfolio > nya1's Photos

Profile > portfolio > TC Studios's Photos

Profile > portfolio > Allure Vision's Photos

Womban & Nature

2009-11-21T03:24:00.002-05:00

the following is from Susan Griffin’s Woman and Nature - thought you would enjoy i as much as i did -Illusory

Passage

Her Journey
Through the Labyrinth
to the Cave Where
She Has Her Vision

The Cave
The shape of a cave, we say, or the shape of a labyrinth. The way we came here was dark. Space seemed to close in on us. We thought we could not move forward. We had to shed our clothes. We had to leave all that we brought with us. And when finally we moved through the narrow opening, our feet reached for ledges, under was an abyss, a cavern stretching farther than we could see. Our voices echoed off the walls. We were afraid to speak. This darkness led to more darkness, until darkness leading to darkness was all we knew.

The shape of this cave, our bodies, this darkness. This darkness which sits so close to us we cannot see, so close that we move away in fear. We turn into ourselves. But here we find the same darkness, we find we are shaped around emptiness, that we are a void we do not know.
The shape of a cave, this emptiness we seek out like water. The void that we are. That we wash into as sleep washes over us, and we are blanketed in darkness. We see nothing. We are in the centre of our ignorance. Nothingness spreads around us. But in this nothing we find what we did not know existed. With our hands, we begin to trace faint images etched into the walls. And now beneath those images we can see the gleam of older images. And these peel back to reveal the older still. The past, the dead, once breathing, the forgotten, the secret, the buried, the once blood and bone, the vanished, shimmering now like an answer from these walls, bright an red. Drawn by the one who came before. An before her. And before. Back to the beginning. To the one who first swam from the mouth of this cave. And now we know all that she knew, see the newness of her vision. What we did not know existed but saw as children, our whole lives drawn here, image over image, past time, beyond space.

The shape of a cave, the bud, the chrysalis, the shell, what new form we seek in this darkness, our hands feeling these walls, here wet, here damp, here crumbling away; our hands searching for signs in this rock, certain now in this darkness, what we seek is here, warm and covered with water, we sweat in this effort, piercing the darkness, laying our skin on the cool stone, tracing the new image over the old, etching these lines which become clear to us now, as what we have drawn here gleams back at us from the walls of the cave, telling us what is, now, and who we have become.

This round cavern, motion turned back on itself, the follower becomes the followed, moon in the sky, the edge becoming the centre, what is buried emerges, light dying over the water, what is unearthed is stunning, the one we are seeking, turning with the ways of the earth, is ourselves.
This cave, the shape to which each returns, where image after image will be revealed, and painted over, painted over and revealed, until we are bone. Where we touch the ones who came before and see their visions, where we leave our mark, where, terrified, we give up ourselves and weep, and taken over by this darkness, are overwhelmed by what we feel: where we are pushed to the edge of existence, to the source which sounds like a wave inside us, to the path of the water which feeds us all.

The way of the water we follow, which has made this space, and hollowed the earth here, because the shape of this cave is a history.

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

2009-11-19T16:19:00.002-05:00

by Dylan Thomas

(27 October 1914 – 9 November 1953)

Do not go gentle into that good night,
Old age should burn and rave at close of day;
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Though wise men at their end know dark is right,
Because their words had forked no lightning they
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Good men, the last wave by, crying how bright
Their frail deeds might have danced in a green bay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
Wild men who caught and sang the sun in flight,
And learn, too late, they grieved it on its way,
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Grave men, near death, who see with blinding sight
Blind eyes could blaze like meteors and be gay,
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.
And you, my father, there on the sad height,
Curse, bless me now with your fierce tears, I pray.
Do not go gentle into that good night.
Rage, rage against the dying of the light.

gathered thoughts

2009-11-19T14:15:00.003-05:00

i've gathered my thoughts & here is my message to whoever YOU are :

you have to act with courage & conviction in order to control your destiny
do this by examining your relationships to see where they may be fulfilling. Then rather than considering where they may be failing you think about how you can add more love to them and how you can see them as an offering of universal love.

there is a weak foundation for our emotional being and unless we stable the foundation, nothing can be built.

we will continue to be stuck in an emotional rut and eventually sink if we can not harden our grounds.

[from @qiFLOW] otherwise u will fall into the hands of the destiny another has created for themselves <----YES instead of the 1 that is created for you Todays number is going to be 1. For so many reasons. Mainly because the number 1 deals with SELF

One primarily deals with strong will, positivity, pure energy. The number One reflects new beginnings, and purity. The symbolic meaning of number One is further clarified when we understand One represents both kinds of action: physical and mental. This combined with Ones urgency for new beginnings, we begin to see Ones recurring in our lives indicates a time to exert our natural forces, take action, and start a new venture. One encourages us our action will be rewarded in kind.

So today allow the #1 to physically and mentally prepare you for a new beginning, a new FOUNDATION, and build from the inside out.

The Seven Rays of the Rainbow

2009-11-18T17:21:00.002-05:00

The energy of light

One of the benefits we receive from the sun's rays is the energy produced when light waves become color!

Emotionally we respond to colors as they fit the time of day or year. The reduction of sunlight on a cloudy day or the long months of winter can significantly affect our emotions. Lack of sunlight can cause mood swings, depression, low energy level. Most of us notice a fresh, cheerful, vibrant feeling when Spring arrives after a long dark winter.

The seven color rays are spiritual forces emanating from the white light. They are perpetually vibrating - not only on the surface of the earth - but also above and through it, encircling the globe in streams of endless energy.

Color vibrations are a source of power, each one having a general as well as a specific function and purpose.

Some people believe that each human being incarnates under a particular ray and is influenced by other subordinate rays, the focal point being an aura or radiation of light, that surrounds all creatures.

The Trinity of Primary Colors

There are three primary colors unfolded in the white light. These are Red, Yellow and Blue. These colors correspond with the three basic elements - hydrogen, carbon and oxygen. The three-fold power of the Primary Colors make a direct energy contribution towards our physical, mental and spiritual development.

The Blue Ray (cooling) is assimilated by the spiritual center in the head. It awakens within a knowledge of divinity. We WILL in blue - INTENTION.

The Yellow Ray stimulates mental growth by way of the brain. We THINK in yellow - WISDOM.

The Red Ray (thermal) provides sustenance for the physical body, gaining entrance by way of the breath. We FEEL in red - ACTIVITY.

Blue = SPIRITUALITY

blue energy stones

Blue is the color of distance - oceans, skies, the heavens. The energy of blue helps us to look beyond the immediate environment, expanding our perceptions towards the unknown.

Blue is the color of Divinity. It brings:

Peace and understanding
Enhances the easy flow of communication with yourself or others
Calms and relaxes

Yellow = WISDOM

yellow energy stones

Yellow is naturally associated with the sun itself, and so with its life giving and sustaining energy.

Yellow enriches, lightens and activates many of the systems of the body. It's bright sunny energy brings about:

clarity of thought
orderliness
memory improvement
better decision making skills
alleviates confusion

Red = VITALITY

red energy stones

Red is the color with the longest wavelength, being the nearest visible light to infrared in the electromagnetic spectrum.

We feel in red - ACTIVITY. The red ray furnishes sustenance for the physical body. It brings about:

energy
enthusiasm
interest and passion
security

When blue is in harmony with yellow and red, there is peace and balance in body and mind. From this trinity of primary colors emanate the secondary colors...

Orange = CREATIVE ENERGY

orange energy stones

Orange combines red and yellow. It contains the fiery energy of red with the wisdom and control of yellow. Orange is a dynamic energy like red but more thoughtful and controlled.

Orange brings about:

creativity
playfulness
exploration on a practical level
relief from boredom
equilibrium

Green = LIFE, BALANCE, NATURE

green energy stones

Green is the merging of yellow (mind) and blue (spirit). It is located exactly at the point of color balance - midway between red and violet on the color spectrum.

The human eye is able to recognize more variation in the color green than in any other color.

Its energy contains:

harmony
sympathy
health
abundance
balance
growth and expansion

Indigo = INFINITY

indigo energy stones

Indigo amplifies the energy of blue in a profound way. At a physical level, while blue is calming, indigo is sedating. It deepens and turns blue energy inward.

The indigo ray symbolizes the bridge between the finite and the infinite and opens the door to the mystical borderland.

While blue energy is fast, Indigo energy is more often lightening fast.

opens the subconscious
spiritual attainment
self-mastery
wisdom
sudden awareness
intuition
psychic abilities

Violet = HIGHEST ELEMENT OF SPIRITUAL MASTERY

violet energy stones

Violet is the ray of spiritual mastery. It is the highest and most subtle specialization of light, being at the opposite end of the color spectrum to red.

It should be viewed as both a completion as well as a beginning of the energy vibration beyond the visible color spectrum.

Violet is a combination of both red and blue and this is key to understanding this color. It brings a stabilizing energy to the franticness of red. It lends practicality to the undirected spaciousness of blue.

darker tones are associated with sorrow
deep purple signifies high spiritual attainment
pale lilac brings love for humanity
bluish purple brings idealism
sparks the imagination and inspiration
integrates other energies for healing purposes

Twitter Revelations II:

2009-11-17T23:30:00.002-05:00

i suppose when making spiritual transitions you begin to see things that you were blind to in the beginning.

Spirituality has a lot to do with the deepest experiences of our existence.

I read Often we are not aware of the spiritual depth w/i us and the divine breath that sustains and invites us toward wholeness in our lives

In our spiritual life, we are involved directly with that God as oppose to following the sheep herder who is "leading" his ppl towards God

Transitions are the changes we encounter due to the natural rhythms of life,
as well as those unexpected changes we inevitably must embrace because of our humanity.

We are all called to change and to grow up into God's image.

When combining Spiritual Life Transitions you find that these are essential pieces of our experience of humanity coming into wholeness.

And since God is in you, in me, in Us, then we are growing into the image we feel is perfect enough for us. Right?

Silly me, nothing is perfect. Everything has flaws, but the most perfect thing is admitting how perfectly imperfect you are.
But once i learned the difference between Religion and Spirituality it was easier for me to stand on my own two feet and not his.

I do not need anyone to teach me that God loves me, all i have to do is listen and he will tell me.

Twitter Revelations:

2009-11-14T14:59:00.002-05:00

Oshun 3:5

I just cut my finger open on Eshu's cat food lid. I didn't feel any pain, but i did watch the "pain" leak from my body. I felt like i lost a piece of my soul. I do not miss draining my pains. And that was a slight reminder. When i used to cut myself,i was wishing my soul would leave because i was in such a damaged state.And now that i know my worth, now that i love myself, now that i realize i am one of gods most valuable amenities, i keep my soul in a bottle, tightly capped.
I now realize, every time i cut myself, i was letting out small pieces of God. Seeing as how God is with in me

In my eyes i am perfect because i am forever learning, forever healing, and i never give up.

Do not confuse my Trials and Tribulations as me spreading my business. Im spreading Hope in Healing. My story will save more than a few.

You never know the affect your testimony can have on anothers life. We often feel alone because we are not willing to share.

Sharing is one of the Guidelines to being Healed.

I am not afraid. My heart is open. I am Healed.

The Power of our words go along way. Its up to you to change your path

Twitter wants to know what i am doing. I am growing.

I promise your life will be so much better when you realize how blessed you are. My bank account may not be stacked, but my blessings are.

If you ask me, after counting all my blessings, i'm richer than Donald Trump. And i have gifts to bear.

black&white

2009-11-12T11:48:00.001-05:00

Most things are within the infinite spectrum of grey;
they are neither black nor white.

But it is our duty to discern
whether there is more white or black
in each shade of grey we see,
and to avoid the blacker grey best we can,
if we cannot whiten it after trying our best.

Morning Blessings

2009-11-08T09:43:00.002-05:00

Olorun gba Ni.

I send out an abundant amount of blessings to each soul who lays eyes on this message. We are all blessed to see another day that was not promised to us, so as i always say, do not take today for granted, each breath you breathe allow that breath to remind you of someone who was not able to see the gift of the present that has been presented before you. God loves you. And so do I. Ashe

butterfly kisses

2009-11-04T23:51:00.006-05:00

i had a dream that i was being slightly caressed by the wings of butterflies from the arch of my back to the rim of my ass and back up towards my spine i felt the wings of that butterfly flutter around my shoulder blade and inch up to my neck only to open my eyes and realize

those soft dancing wings were attached to your face;
known to the world as lips
but known to my body as a piece of heaven
and for a moment time froze as you focused on my neck area
tasting the salt of my skin like it was the greatest creation ever made
to man and i savored every moment as you trailed your tongue down my back
leaving breadcrumb-like kisses just in case you get lost and
right when you got near my waist
you slowly nibbled
turned me over
and began to
eat
out
what felt like
a piece of my soul.
literally sucking me dry.
i could feel you becoming indulged
in my spirit making it apart of who you are.
tongue flickers and finger pokes started to slowly
take my body into convulsion like spasms, making my
eyes roll back into the top of my head, making me yell out
the name of God in four or five different languages.

and right before i got to the thank you jesus and hallelujahs

i felt you plunge deep in to me.

slowly stroking

curving your body

knocking each wall lightly

you

caressed my g spot
as tho you had been friends for years

you stroked

deeper

faster

deeper

faster

you went in

slightly pulled out

tip of the head went in

slowly pulled out

there was a hard dive in

and then you slowly pulled out

you arched your back

you arched your back

and then you slowly pulled out

there was a hard dive in

there was a harder dive in

this was the hardest dive in

i could feel you in my stomach

letting out the spirit that you sucked out of me

we became one

high enough to fly away

i had a dream that i was being slightly caressed by the wings of butterflies

my how i love those butterfly kisses

This Week In Black Beauty

2009-11-04T08:02:00.003-05:00

Caption:	Dark side of moi
Location:	Austin, Texas
Copyright:	© Gerry Hanan www.hananexposures.com
Uploaded:	May 28, 2007
Credits:	Gerry Hanan (Photographer) Khady (Model)

Caption:	group
Location:	Adrian Pini Studio
Copyright:	Nocopphoto
Uploaded:	Sep 01, 2008
Credits:	portfolio > Nocopphoto Reflex's Photos

Profile > portfolio > Namii's Photos

Caption:	The Colors of East Africa
Location:	Hide House, Milwaukee
Copyright:	Matt Conrads
Uploaded:	Oct 15, 2007
Credits:	Kimberly Steward (Makeup Artist) MPENZI (Model)

Caption:	Get ready!
Location:	NY, NY
Copyright:	jewelry by J. JEWELS COLLECTION/Photo by Ezra Mabengeza
Uploaded:	Sep 06, 2007
Credits:	Profile > portfolio > J Jewels's Photos

Today is good for

2009-11-04T07:22:00.001-05:00

cleansing our soul and body, as well as our thoughts, practice of restraint and humility, humbleness and dedication, clear consciousness, forgiveness. It will be a beautyfull day for creative and hardworking individuals, that are free from pride. Try burning a few incense and candles to cleanse the negative energy. And most importantly, have a Great Day!

repeated

2009-11-03T18:50:00.003-05:00

suffocating
in self inflicted pain brought on by unbearable waves of emotion.
drowning
in tears brought on by recollections of yesteryear.
dying.
the same emotional death.
only to relive it again for fear of misplacing few memories.
holding on with enough breath for i love you to be whispered

revived

repeated.

suffocating
in self inflicted pain brought on by unbearable waves of emotion.
drowning
in tears brought on by recollections of yesteryear.
dying.
the same emotional death.
only to relive it again for fear of misplacing few memories.
holding on with enough breath for i love you to be whispered

revived

revised

breathing

surrendering

alive

repeated

repeated

repeated.

Dear Daddy, Goodbye

2009-11-03T04:09:00.013-05:00

This year Daddy would have been 46. And it feels like i was just in his arms yesterday but it will only be a dream. I dream that i have dreamt for the last 19 years. A dream ends the same each and every time with me not being able to say I love you or Good Bye.

I was young yes, but the memories i have of him continuously remind me of he.
For a long time i blamed myself for his death, i blamed my mother, my aunts and uncles, i blamed every one. The night he went out he begged people to go with him. He didn't want to be alone.

I do not think that was too much to ask for.

Even my mother turned him down. I have so many emotions about that. If she would have just gotten up....granted his wish, i would have him.

My father was like a superhero.

but i suppose every hero dies.

attempting to save a damsel

getting shot in the process

with noone to come to your rescue

and im sure when my mother got the call

her heart
was beyond broken
she was so selfish

I blame myself because i saw it
not in a conscious state but it was still a vision

the guy
the girl
the gun

the look on his face as he was hit
the blood that shed as he laid
the pain he felt

i often wonder what his last thought was
was he thinking of me,
my mom
did he know he was dying

my thoughts are all over the place

for a long time after he died i hated him
because he just, left me
with no one to protect me,
no one to wipe my tears away
no one to tell me how pretty i was
no more i love yous
no more "daddys baby is beautiful"

all of this was just
stolen

during my molestation i hated him the most
so many questions
how could you just leave me to be
emotionally and spiritually killed by someone i thought i could trust?

he told me the boogieman never existed
yet i lived with one for years

so many times i just wanted to die

at least i could have him back

i could be the happy little girl i once was

every attempt failed

which at that time made me feel like i couldn't do a damn thing right

i want to know why he had to be taken a way

my sister once told me i was the reason that he died

confirmation

that made me feel like a piece of shit

even till this day those words repeatedly play over and over again like a sad song

i didn't even make the funeral

i wasn't informed until about a week after

i'm aware i have to let go
but its so hard knowing that the only man who will REALLY love you for who you really are

unconditionally

will never be able to show you that love

making an attempt to move on, i wrote him a letter.

Dear Dad,
its me, your baby. i pray this letter reaches you. i hope you are proud of me. words i will never be able to hear. i not only live for myself but i live for you as well. i will admit i feel lost with out you but i know that you are right here with me every step of the way. please continue to hold and protect me, keep me safe, and continue to guide me in the direction i need to be in. i never had a chance to say good bye, and i guess it shouldn't be said. so i will simply say see you later. and i can not wait to be in your arms again. Happy Birthday.
Love you forever and always

this blog is beyond hard for me to write.
but my healing has to begin somewhere
i have so much to say, with no words to put it in
and all i can do is cry

tears that he will never be able to wipe from my face

i do not know when the grieving process will end
its a nightmare i live very often
shock
denial
bargaining
guilt
anger
depression
resignation
acceptance
hope
repeat

they say to give your self time

i've had 19 years and that still isn't long enough

they say talk about it

my mother is still in pain so i have no one to talk to
she hasn't been to his grave since they put him in the ground

i ask that, if you're reading this, please cherish the people that are in your life. they could be gone at any moment.

i have to end my blog here
and i want to end it by saying
i'm not afraid to die
i know he is waiting on me

thoughts

2009-11-01T07:18:00.001-05:00

This morning I

inhaled | exhaled. blinked. gave thanks. because without the creator neither one of those steps would be possible. the more i sit back and think of all that i am blessed with it gives less room to complain about what i do not have. the ability to breathe is a gift with in it self. someone wasn't given that opportunity. so today, i will breathe for those that can't breathe, and for those that do not appreciate it, its one gift i will never turn away.

Ladies and Gents Meet Lorna Simpson

2009-11-01T03:30:00.003-05:00

I asked my followers for a few of their favorite artist and @laurengwhite was kind enough to send me a few of hers.

Photographer; Carrie Mae Weems, Lorna Simpson, Painter;Jacob Lawrence, Eugene Martin. Famous Artist? Kara Walker

For some reason the name Lorna intrigued me. So i googled her, and the first image i saw was

To me, this image is simple, yet extremely powerful.

Lorna Simpson was born in 1960 in Brooklyn, New York, and received her BFA in Photography from the School of Visual Arts, New York, and her MFA from the University of California, San Diego. When Simpson emerged from the graduate program at San Diego in 1985, she was already considered a pioneer of conceptual photography. Feeling a strong need to re-examine and re-define photographic practice for contemporary relevance, Simpson was producing work that engaged the conceptual vocabulary of the time by creating exquisitely crafted documents that are as clean and spare as the closed, cyclic systems of meaning they produce. Her initial body of work alone helped to incite a significant shift in the view of the photographic art’s transience and malleability.

Lorna Simpson first became well-known in the mid-1980s for her large-scale photograph-and-text works that confront and challenge narrow, conventional views of gender, identity, culture, history and memory. With the African-American woman as a visual point of departure, Simpson uses the figure to examine the ways in which gender and culture shape the interactions, relationships and experiences of our lives in contemporary multi-racial America. In the mid-1990s, she began creating large multi-panel photographs printed on felt that depict the sites of public – yet unseen – sexual encounters. More recently, she has turned to moving images – in film and video works such as Call Waiting, Simpson presents individuals engaged in intimate and enigmatic yet elliptical conversations that elude easy interpretation but seem to address the mysteries of both identity and desire. Her newest body of work includes drawings based on the characters in a recent video work constructed from found film footage. As a collection, these portraits become studies on the construction of identity achieved through the subtle interplay of lines and accents of color.

Her work has been exhibited at the Museum of Modern Art, New York; the Museum of Contemporary Art, Chicago; the Miami Art Museum; the Walker Art Center, Minneapolis; and the Irish Museum of Modern Art, Dublin. She has participated in such important international exhibitions as the Hugo Boss Prize at the Guggenheim Museum, New York, and Documenta XI in Kassel, Germany. She has been the subject of numerous articles, catalogue essays, and a monograph published by Phaidon Press. Simpson's first mid-career survey was exhibited at the Los Angeles Museum of Contemporary Art, the Miami Museum of Art, the Whitney Museum of American Art, the Kalamazoo Institute of Art, and the Gibbes Museum in South Carolina. Exhibitions are planned for 2008 at Salon94 and at the Internation Center for Photography show titled Archive Fever: Uses of the Document in Contemporary Art, on view January 18th - May 4th.

2009-10-31T08:34:00.000-04:00

usually when we are feeling like we are in "need of" something or someone, most of the time this is a false representation of a void we are trying to fill within ourselves. we must remember that, in order to love another, we have to first experience loving who we are or we will not succeed at love at all.

the same interest and acceptance we show for others, the same appreciation and compassion we attempt to spread through out the universe, will all go unnoticed if we do not water our inner flower with those very same nutrients. there is nothing wrong with loving you first. the only person who should come before you is God. Please do not take my words lightly

btw
good morning to you

-untitled-

2009-10-31T08:30:00.001-04:00

if only we knew the amount of control we give our enemies [and our inner demons] when we allow them to see us angered by a petty move. I honestly believe if we did not allow our selves to become attached, we wouldn't be so hurt once we are disappointed. I trust that my ancestors will guide and protect me, and God will continue to cover me, even in the midst of someone doing wrong towards me. Ashe

I will maintain my character and bless their hearts. They have been hurt before. And so have I. The only difference is, i am slowly healing. Their healing has yet to begin. -Iba O

How to Handle Attachment

2009-10-31T05:24:00.001-04:00

“One man can conquer a thousand times thousand men in battle,
but one who conquers himself is the greatest of conquerors.”
The Dhammapada

The following antidotes can be applied throughout daily life, but are profound meditation exercises as well.

ANTIDOTE 1 - Observe Yourself: Do I exaggerate positive qualities of things I am attached to, are they really worth all my troubles? Is it really worth to work hard for days, weeks or months to have an hour of fun?

ANTIDOTE 2 - Use Your Inner Wisdom: Discover how exaggerated attachment is and how desire works against oneself. Try to be wiser than the monkey and let go of the candy to be free.

ANTIDOTE 3 - Reflect on the Unsatisfactory Nature of Existence. This is also called the First Noble Truth. How much fun is fun really, and how much is it forgetting the pain? Do desires ever stop or is it an endless job to fulfil them?

ANTIDOTE 4 - Reflect on Impermanence. How important is the person or object: everything will end someday, people die, things break.

ANTIDOTE 5 - Reflect on the Problems of Attachment. Lying in the sun is great, but it quickly leads to sunburn. Eating nice food is great, but it leads to indigestion and obesity. Driving around in big cars is great, but how long do I have to work to enjoy this?

ANTIDOTE 6 - Reflect on bodily attraction (lust for sex). Loving someone is great, but what happens when the "honeymoon-days" are over? But what is the body really? What more is it than a skin bag filled with bones, flesh, disgusting organs and fluids?

ANTIDOTE 7 - Reflect on the Results of Attachment. Greed and craving lead to stealing and all kinds of crime, including war. Addiction to alcohol and drugs are simply forms of strong craving; they destroy the addict and the surroundings. Uncontrolled lust leads to sexual abuse. The feeling of greed, craving and lust in themselves can be easily seen as forms of suffering.

ANTIDOTE 8 - Reflect on Death. What are all objects of attachment worth at "the moment of truth" or death?

ANTIDOTE 9 - Emptiness. The ultimate antidote to attachment and all other negative emotions is the realisation of emptiness, see more in the page on Wisdom.

The 12 Steps of Liberation

2009-10-31T05:23:00.001-04:00

1. The truth of suffering. We experienced the truth of our addictions – our lives were unmanageable suffering.
2. The truth of the origin of suffering. We admit that we craved for and grasped onto addictions as our refuge.
3. The truth of the end of suffering. We came to see that complete cessation of craving and clinging at addictions is necessary.
4. The truth of the path. We made a decision to follow the path of liberation and to take refuge in our wisdom, our truth, and our fellowship.
5. Right view. We completely see our life as it is. Our goodness is indestructible. We are willing to acknowledge and proclaim our truth to ourselves, another human being and the community.
6. Right thought. We are mindful that we create the causes for suffering and liberation.
7. Right speech. We purify, confess and ask for forgiveness straightforwardly and without judgment. We are willing to forgive others.
8. Right action. We make a list of all persons we harm and are willing and able to actively make amends to them all, unless to do so would be harmful.
9. Right livelihood. We simplify our lives, realizing we are all interconnected. We engage in active compassion. We select a vocation that supports our recovery.
10. Right effort. We acknowledge mistakes and relapse as part of the path. We continue to practice these steps with joyful effort.
11. Right mindfulness. Through prayer, meditation and action we follow the path of truth, being mindful moment by moment.
12. Right concentration. Open to the spirit of awakening as a result of these steps, we will carry this message to all people suffering with addictions.

Watching your Emotions.

2009-10-28T10:52:00.000-04:00

Focus the attention mainly to the breath and sensory experiences; in addition, note your emotional experiences.

- Whenever a particular feeling comes up, mentally note it; as "liking", "dis-liking", "anger", "sad", "fear", "resentment", "anxiety", "guilt" etc. and let it go
- Do not get involved with the emotions, only note them and return to awareness of the breath.

Simple Steps to Controlling your Emotions

Being able to control your emotions is a huge step towards unlimited happiness. For small things in your life, you will be able to use the following method to instantly change your thoughts and viewpoints. For bigger issues it might take more time.

1. Be Present

Presence is a beautiful thing, it is the realization that now is all there ever is. It is also described as living consciously, being aware of your emotions and reactions to things as they arise. One great way to start becoming more present is through the use of meditation and I also recommend trying to be aware of being aware as often as possible.

For example, if you are about to go through a traffic light and it turns red so you have to stop, it’s easy to become a little angry or annoyed. The more present you can be (aware the red light has made you angry), the more you can succeed at the next step. There are other benefits to presence in that you are also more aware and alert to what is going on without a mind full of thoughts.

2. Watch the Emotion

As soon as you are present in a situation, that is to say watching the thoughts that come into your mind -Â observe them. If you feel anger at a traffic light then watch that anger. As soon as you watch the emotion, you separate yourself from it, therefore it can’t take over you and quickly disappears.

One good example from the book the Power of Now (by Eckhart) goes along the following lines:

Listen when a car alarm goes off outside. It keeps going and the noise becomes very annoying. The more you focus on it the louder the sound becomes and the more annoying it gets. However, if you just listen to it, and watch the emotions that arise, then a miraculous thing will happen.

You will start to notice the alarm doesn’t really annoy you any more, you may start laughing and actually find it funny.

This is a great example and one that allowed me to understand presence and watching your emotions more closely. I’ve started doing this more in everyday life, for instance, when someone sitting near me at work has music on too loud, I find myself getting annoyed quickly. As soon as I am aware I’m feeling the emotion, it quickly disappears and I no longer feel annoyed.

3. Some people enjoy Anger

It might seem ludicrous (because it is), but there are a lot of people who simply enjoy being angry. The reason for this is that to them, it is better to have a negative emotion than it is to have no emotion and be bored. Of course, they aren’t aware of this consciously but as soon as you are aware of it you will start to see people in everyday life who just love anger / drama.

4. Make your Choice

Now that you see it is possible to be truly present, observe your emotions and control them - which path are you going to take? You have the choice to look at any situation positively or negatively.
Are you going to let the ego’s desire for pain and drama creep into all areas of your life or are you going to make the decision to disconnect from your negative emotions and experience true, unlimited happiness?

The choice is yours

[source]

A few Facebbok/Twitter Favs

2009-10-27T10:16:00.009-04:00

As i enjoy my bornday, i had a few messages that touched my heart, and i wanted to save them the best way i could
it wasn't until this morning when i realized even more
how blessed i am
i have some wonderful people in my life and
the road would be a bit hard with out you

these are a few of my favorite facebook and twiiter
bornday shout outs

thatpoetACE *dances* HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA! HAPPY BIRTHDAY MOMMA! @iAmOshun

theePROTEGE @iamOshun Happy Birthday Mom!

SeeLineWoman @iAmOshun happy solar return sis. may this cycle be even more wiser, prosperous and healthy!

DiggsWayne @iAmOshun Leave it up to you to sensationalize your own birthday. What's next? Camera crews? Runaway balloons over Georgia? ....Me popping out of a cake in a g-string? Rubbing my sweaty ass all over you? Well you know what Ms. @iAmOshun I'm not going to play into all of that. I'm just going to ((((((((((((((((((((((SCREAM)))))))))))))))))) HAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPY BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBUUUUUUUUUUUURPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP And from the depths of my root Chakra, I hope you have an exquisitely beautiful day.<----*side eye*

Tasean @IAmOshun HAPPY BORNDAY my misses! Thank you for all your positive energy & 4 being a light for all you meet. Have a beautyfull day! ily

MonaMade @iAmOshun celebrate the day of your creation, while you fill our cups with light from the sun & the wisdom of the moon. holla.

djolder @iAmOshun happppppppy birthday beautiful!! Blessings of abundance, health and clarity 2 u pretty lady. *muah!!! ;)
djolder There are those who try / But few who can rule the room / Like @IAmOshun #haiku #happybirthday

GmanSpeaks @iAmOshun *raises glass & tips hat* Have a Blessed born day *kicks out drunkard hiccuping thru happy b'day*

jonubian I need everyone to stand and raise your glasses to toast the Queen @iamoshun . Happy Born Day Beautiful!

Aseelah @iAmOshun Happy b'Earthday Sis!!! :)) *bells* *whistles* *confetti*

brew1982 @iAmOshun I hope that every minute of the day to be a result of your own handcrafted beauty ~~:*Happy Born Day!*:~~

soulrebelJ Happy B-day @iAmOshun. Scorpios rule the world.

JewelGiroux @IamOshun to the most inspiring courageous wonderfully made sexy sophisticated intellectual ALL WOMAN respected kind prsn I've come to know HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!!! Love you Queen. You da effin BEST

rainyrane So u got a call from me earlier but i just wanted to say again Happy Birthday beautiful scorpio...May your day be filled with love @IamOshun

tprolificjones Happy birthday to @iAmOshun, who shares her day with my grandfather! #ScorpioSeason

rhonyk @iAmOshun Happy Day of your birth,Sister Oshun.May the ancestors bless you with all of their love!

abednego_jones and a big ass happy birthday to: @iAmOshun

Jkanam @iAmOshun happy bday, darling. http://bit.ly/Y8WEy

Royal_Update !!!!!!!!HAPPY BIRTHDAY @IAMOSHUN !!!!!!!!!!!!! She the Baby Mama ;o)

luve1995 @iAmOshun Happy Birthday Beautiful One!!!!!!!!!!!!! Make it sweet sexy and soulful!!!

Eni9matic It's your birthday @IamOshun?!? Well happy birthday then!!!! I hope it is a very blessed day.

Papa_Shango @iAmOshun Happy Birthday Sweetness! Hope its everything you wish for and you dont get arrested enjoying yourself too much!

BornInIniquity Just Breezing Through, I hope you all are well. @iAmOshun Have a BEAUTIFUL Born Day, Love! XOXOXOX Ciao

CoachBilal @iAmOshun TODAY is the Anniversary of the Day you Became who you ARE. So Thanks for affirming "I AM" #BE #HAPPY #OSHUN #BDAY

justkappa HAPPY BIRTHDAY WOMAN!!!! --> @iAmOshun <--- muuuuuaaaahhhh!!!!! marsxcentric #SCORPIOSEASON HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! @iAmOshun

FOLLOW THOSE FOLKS

Ife Franklin QUEEN! Happy Birthday!

Baba Ogunsola Hammond Carter Have to get this in now--you know how my schedule is. . .Happy Eku Adun Lil Sis. Hope this Earthday truly allows you to feel what it is to have a birthday at a time when nature is in transformation Iba Oya!!! Love Peace and light to you!!!

MrOshun -Gold to my precious and beloved Iba haopy bday...much gold in your life.

Kristyn RoyalTy Russell happy birthday godiva...enjoy!

Adrienne Horn I would call you and sing happy bday but clearly you sing better than me so sing it to yourself and act like i was the one that was singing it to you ::smile:: Happy Birthday sis!!! I love you!!!!

Chabe Jobe Wish u the best on ur B-Day Iba............ ure such a rare specimen.... HAPPY B-DAY!!!!!

Shawn Mcdowell HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY GIRL, EXTREE POSHUNS OF ACORN CAKE WITH SUNFLOWER SEED FROSTUN FOR ERRBODY!!!!

Luvle Lady Happy Birthday Iba...... Happy Alive Day!... make i memorable..... i'll light a candle for you this day............................... ashe

BaKojo Sampson E kaaro .... Pele O
Eku Odun my beautiful and gifted sister. I hope this day is peaceful and pleasant for you ... May the depths of your meditation be realized ...
Ela boru Ela Boye Ela Bosise
Odabo

Peter Lora-Duverger ¡ Cumpleaños feliz! ¡Que los cumplan feliz!
¡Que los cumplan feliz!
¡Que los cumplan Iba Oshun.!
¡Que los cumplan feliz!

Te' Smith
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY BBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY to you... dear love...may this year carry with it all of the blessings and beauty designed for you and your walk. :: MUCH ♥ :: Te'

Kali Tenee' Monroe Happy Birthday to my Baby Goddess...I love you Blossom. I hope you enjoy your day and experience nothing but the highest highs naturally possible. lol Momma loves you dearly.

Celeste Dent HAPPY BIRFDAY to the most beautifulest little Baby Blossom sister! I luv you and wish u peace, blessings and many more. :)

Jameschico L. Fields a rose I suppose is a nice way to say
you're sending good thoughts to someone today
so to Iba O and her mate, double 'R'
you're sent good thoughts from afar
Happy birthday Ms Oshun!

Wazi Mo hey happy early born day queen i wish you a life time of positive energy and all the love and happiness your heart and hands could hold xoxo

Melanie Pam Happy Birthday Baby Girl!!! ♥ I hope you have an incredible one!! I love you!!

THANK YOU ALL FOR MAKING ME FEEL EVEN MORE SPECIAL THAN I ALREADY AM!
I SEND AN ABUNDANT AMOUNT OF BLESSINGS TO EACH AND EVERY ONE OF YOU.
MAY YOU CONTINUE TO BE BLESSED!

Happy Birthday to Me

2009-10-27T01:23:00.002-04:00

I would like to cherish your comments for as long as i can so please, leave as many wishes as you would like!
I give thanks to the creator for allowing me to see yet another year. I am 24, no kids, no disease, wise, in my right mind and most importantly, I'm alive. There's no better gift

retro-spec-tion

2009-10-22T13:12:00.000-04:00

To know what you want to have achieved
by the end of this life,
do some introspection and "retrospection."

What do you want to be on your mind on your deathbed?

Any last wishes?
Why not fulfill them now?

Any last regrets?
Why not resolve them now?

Time is not on our side.
We are running out of it.

Laid Hands On Us Both

2009-10-22T02:55:00.003-04:00

i could feel your warm breath on certain spots of my cold body as you whispered
"baby are you ready"

and all i could do was

nod slowly as i held on you your head while you
caressed my things with the tip of your tongue
following the trail to my own personal
underground railroad that only had room for one slave

and that slave

was attached to you

as your
lips wrapped around my pearl
my eyes rolled in the back of my head and
i began to moan negro like-spiritual tones in the key of c -sharp
cause
baby you had me
and indeed you were wading in water
but it was from my own personal river
which you didn't mind being baptized in
cause as soon as you stuck your tongue in
i could hear you praising white jesus in your personal thoughts
and i
i began to yell out for the father, the spirit and the holy ghost
cause the orgasm i felt coming
had most definitely been saved

catching the spirit rather faster than usual
as soon as my body trembled
your tongue was pulled out
and your dick was slammed in
reassuring me that i could take it
you dug
deeper
allowing me to feel the fruits of your spirit
as you became the still small voice

entering my mind and heart
only being heard by me
you gifted me stroke by stroke with

love,

joy,

peace,

longsuffering,

gentleness,

goodness,

faith,

meekness and

temperance

and right when it was time for
blessings to rain down
it felt as tho God himself had laid hands on us both

the presence was so powerful

so heavy all i could do was lay

and as i dozed off you came in from work and covered me as i slept
for it was all a dream

art lovers please meet @dawnokoro

2009-10-21T23:44:00.000-04:00

So, i was being nosy clicking on links that @MonaMade posted on twitter [follower her!] and then i saw @NaijaCandy post the same name and i was like who IS she. Which is how i came across i came across Ms.Dawn Okoro [@dawnokoro]

It turns out @NaijaCandy was having a hard time choosing between two photos

and

Hell, if you ask me, i say buy both, but considering i wasn't asked so i will keep my advice to myself.

Any who i really admire Dawns work because she catches not only the spirit of a soul, but the true essence of the being.

Born in Houston, Texas, Dawn has a Bachelor's from the UT at Austin and a Juris Doctor from TSU. Her work incorporates photography, collage, and ideas from popular culture.

Here is a time-line of her work:

SOLO EXHIBITIONS

2009 August 7, 2009 DAWN OKORO: Three Peas Art Lounge; 75 E. 16th St., Chicago, IL.

2007 December 13, 2007 DAWN OKORO: RFB&D Recording Studio; 1314 W. 45th St, Austin, Texas. Benefiting Recording for the Blind & Dyslexic.

2006 May 5, 2006 DAWN OKORO: CREATION at Gachet Gallery, 1804 Lower Greenville Ave; Dallas,Texas. Benefiting B.L.I.N.D. (Beautiful Love Incorporated Nonprofit Development). Presented by Erykah Badu. Click Here for press release

2005 August 27, 2005 DAWN OKORO: MUSE at Iron Gate Studios, 2205 W 5th St, Austin, Texas. Benefiting Thoughtful House Center for Children. Click Here for press release

SELECTED GROUP EXHIBITIONS

2009 May 26, 2009, So Live! Arts Movement, Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, NY.

2009 Mar 6 - Apr, 11 2009, Texas Biennial, Austin, TX.

2009 Feb 12 - Apr 1, 2009, Museum of Fine Arts, Houston, Five-A Citywide Exhibition, Houston, TX.

2008 Nov 1, 2008, ARTcetera Biennial, Boston Center for the Arts, Boston, MA.

2008 April 12 - 19, 2008, Visual Collaborative, The Undercurrent Arts, Miami, FL.

2008 March 6, 2008, CulinART, University of Texas Alumni Center, Austin, TX.

2007 November 3, 2007, So Live! Arts Movement, Pratt Institute, Brooklyn, NY.

2007 November 17, 2007, Dray Walk Gallery, London, UK.

2007 September 15, 2007, Art and Fashion Fund Raiser for ROAR, at Establishment, 252 George Street, Sydney, Australia.

2007 June 15, 2007, Picture Progress: An Art Auction and Benefit, Red Ink Studios, 91035 Market Street, San Francisco, CA.

2007 Saks Fifth Avenue, Premier Altier, 9722 Great Hills Trail, Austin, TX.

2006 November 2006, Healing Arts Exhibition and Auction, The Wright House Wellness center, 4301-B N IH 35 in Austin, TX.

2006 July 1 – July 22, 2006, FIX / ESCAPE at ADM Project Gallery , 6015 Santa Monica Blvd., 2nd floor, Hollywood, CA.
Presented by The Pandemonium Collective .

2004 April 11, 2004, Art Show, at Gallery Lombardi, 910 W 3rd, Austin, Texas. Artists include Tim Doyle and Matthew Rodriguez.

2004 March 12 – March 16, 2004, South by South West (SXSW) at the Hideout 617 Congress Avenue, Austin, Texas. Presented by Austin Sketch Group.

2001 April, 2001, ART AND FASHION, at the Frank Erwin Center, 1701 Red River, Austin Texas.

1998 Spring, 1998, Texas State Capitol Building, Austin, Texas.

1998 January 1998, SCHOLASTIC ART AWARDS, New York City.

Dawn was featured in the following:

	CLUTCH Magazine, "Dawn Okoro: In the Name of Art," interview with Jennifer Valentine, August 3, 2009
	THE AUSTIN CHRONICLE, "State of Wonderment," Andrew Long interviews Michael Duncan about the Texas Biennial, March 4, 2009
	OXFORD AMERICAN Magazine, Featured in March 2009 issue
	CLAM Magazine (Paris), Featured in Fall 2007 issue
	AUSTIN AMERICAN STATESMAN, Feature Story by Jenny Miller, August 23, 2007
	SOTAC Magazine, Feature article in Spring 2007 issue
	MIMI Magazine, Feature article in May 2007 issue
	YMIB.COM, Feature article in December 2006 issue
	COCOA LOUNGE, "Fresh Face," December 15, 2006
	UNSIGNED, "Unreel," Fall 2006 issue
	SOJOURNALS.COM, Featured on homepage
	PHASE MAGAZINE, "Calling on the Community" article in September 2006 issue
	SA URBAN, "Creation II" Cover and article in May 31, 2006 issue
	NEO SOUL CAFE, featured artist, May 2006
	FOX 7 AUSTIN, "At Risk" Interview with Arezow Doost, March 12, 2006
	NEWS 8 AUSTIN, entertainment features, March 12, 2006
	THE AUSTIN CHRONICLE, Visual Arts, Events, August 25, 2005
	FOX 7 NEWS AUSTIN, "Art for Autism," Interview with James Irby, August 21, 2005

And some more of her fabulous work is down below

If you want more of Dawn find her ANYWHERE below. Peace and Love to you all!

Dawn Okoro's Art Prints

Dawn Okoro's Blog

Dawn Okoro's Twitter

Africa Hope Committee

Michael Shane Photography

Tomeekha Pitre

Reckon World wide

Thoughtful House Center for Children

Concentrative Meditation

2009-10-05T18:52:00.001-04:00

Concentrative meditation focuses the attention on the breath, an image, or a sound (mantra), in order to still the mind and allow a greater awareness and clarity to emerge. This is like a zoom lens in a camera; we narrow our focus to a selected field.

The simplest form of concentrative meditation is to sit quietly and focus the attention on the breath. Yoga and meditation practitioners believe that there is a direct correlation between one's breath and one's state of the mind. For example, when a person is anxious, frightened, agitated, or distracted, the breath will tend to be shallow, rapid, and uneven. On the other hand, when the mind is calm, focused, and composed, the breath will tend to be slow, deep, and regular. Focusing the mind on the continuous rhythm of inhalation and exhalation provides a natural object of meditation. As you focus your awareness on the breath, your mind becomes absorbed in the rhythm of inhalation and exhalation. As a result, your breathing will become slower and deeper, and the mind becomes more tranquil and aware.

bl[p]e[n]eding

2009-09-24T17:27:00.004-04:00

this time i dug
deep
allowing the pain to leak
from what was
at the time
my soul

the pain of not being
whole
feeling like i can't reach
lifes goal
like
im
stuck in a black hole
choosing between
a knife
and a pistol
this is where the story
unfolds

i chose to
bleed slowly
using the sharpest
object closest
to allow my
essence to drip
from my limb and
splatter
like
drops
of
rain

putting myself
in full control
seeing the blood
feeling the pain
relieving endorphins
and releasing stress

but i
bled
mentally
not physically
i allowed my pen to bleed
and not my soul

beneath the surface

2009-09-17T21:03:00.003-04:00

when i was younger
i was under the perception that
there was only one way to rid pain

and that was physically

nothing made me feel better than
watching all of my hurt go down the drain

literally

taking the sharpest object i could find
holding my arm out and slicing

in the beginning it was in places no one could see
and eventually i got careless and moved down to my wrist
but no one ever asked any questions or wanted to know where
they came from so that began to make the way i felt worse.

i never cut in an attempt to kill myself
i only cut because i had no way of dealing with my feelings

feelings of being alone
feelings of being afraid
feelings of being hurt
feelings of being disappointed
rage,
sorrow,
rejection,
desperation,
longing,
emptiness.

i felt all of this and no one saw it

especially during the time i was being molested
true story:
before the molestation
my uncle and my molester got into an argument
which lead to a fight

my uncle was about to kill him
right before my eyes
and i begged
and pleaded for him to let him go
give him another chance
the next year the nightmare began
small touches here
kisses there
and it turned into more serious issues
till this day i wonder
if i wouldn't had stopped him...

any who
it wasn't until i was older that i learned
there are other ways to cope with difficulties

i believe that at that time me attempting to cope was overpowered
by all of those emotions hitting me at once

tension built up
and i needed to see it be released

after a while it became compulsive
i had a need to cut
no matter where it was
what is was with
i just needed it out of me

it was like
my mind was connected to that sense of relief
from the bad feelings i had become invoked by

it became an addiction
cutting became my "crack"
lol
not a good way to put it
but
it is what it is
and again
i just wanted to feel better
not end my life
well
not at THAT point i didn't
but there was a time i did
thats a whole nother blog tho

its been about two years since i have cut myself
about nine months since i have thought about it
but now that i am aware that i have other ways to deal with whats wrong
people in my life that really do give a damn
i turn to those two things to rid the pain

i made a promise to myself to never do it again
and i will not break that promise

below i have ways to get help
just keep two things in mind:
1:You're not alone
2:Its not worth it

Getting Help

There are better ways to deal with troubles than cutting — healthier, long-lasting ways that don't leave a person with emotional and physical scars. The first step is to get help with the troubles that led to the cutting in the first place. Here are some ideas for doing that:

Tell someone. People who have stopped cutting often say the first step is the hardest — admitting to or talking about cutting. But they also say that after they open up about it, they often feel a great sense of relief. Choose someone you trust to talk to at first (a parent, school counselor, teacher, coach, doctor, or nurse). If it's too difficult to bring up the topic in person, write a note.
Identify the trouble that's triggering the cutting. Cutting is a way of reacting to emotional tension or pain. Try to figure out what feelings or situations are causing you to cut. Is it anger? Pressure to be perfect? Relationship trouble? A painful loss or trauma? Mean criticism or mistreatment? Identify the trouble you're having, then tell someone about it. Many people have trouble figuring this part out on their own. This is where a mental health professional can be helpful.
Ask for help. Tell someone that you want help dealing with your troubles and the cutting. If the person you ask doesn't help you get the assistance you need, ask someone else. Sometimes adults try to downplay the problems teens have or think they're just a phase. If you get the feeling this is happening to you, find another adult (such as a school counselor or nurse) who can make your case for you.
Work on it. Most people with deep emotional pain or distress need to work with a counselor or mental health professional to sort through strong feelings, heal past hurts, and to learn better ways to cope with life's stresses. One way to find a therapist or counselor is to ask at your doctor's office, at school, or at a mental health clinic in your community.

Although cutting can be a difficult pattern to break, it is possible. Getting professional help to overcome the problem doesn't mean that a person is weak or crazy. Therapists and counselors are trained to help people discover inner strengths that help them heal. These inner strengths can then be used to cope with life's other problems in a healthy way.

also visit To Write Love on Her Arms dot com
love&lite good people

Self-love trap #1:

2009-09-17T05:44:00.001-04:00

Getting stuck in the idea that you're "supposed" to be perfect and know everything

Nobody knows everything. I don't, you don't, your role models don't. Think about it. If you knew everything yourself, you wouldn't have much motivation to bring out the greatness in others, would you? You know ... by allowing them to contribute to you. So even at a social level, it's completely impractical. Watch for these signs that you feel bad about not knowing things:

* You hesitate to ask a question for fear that it will make you sound stupid.

* You hesitate to begin a new project because you suspect you will encounter a step or two that you haven't worked out how to do yet.

* When you do think you know something, you've just gotta jump in and tell everyone -- so they can see that you're not as stupid as you think they thought you were.

As a result clinging to this false belief in your intended perfection, you hold your life back. You stick to the familiar, procrastinating endlessly on new projects so as to not run into situations you don't know how to handle. You rob others ... friends, family, and co-workers ... out of the opportunity to share their own best gifts. Check out these affirmations for embracing natural learning.

* I feel good when others share their gifts of knowledge and understanding with me.

* I love seeing how new projects unfold -- working through each little challenge easily.

* I forgive myself for making mistakes in life, just as I forgive others.

Self-love trap #2: Thinking you're not "allowed" to have what you want.

Most of us encounter limits at some point in our upbringing. It can seem unfair. Yet as an empowered adult, the only real governor on what you're "allowed" to create as your dream world is the set of obstacles you devise yourself. Who knew you were so powerful? This might be you if you find yourself in the following situations:

* You observe someone else having a great success in an area where you feel challenged. Your inside response is "well, that's great for them, but I guess I can't have it."

* Your take on life is that it's a spectator sport. You watch, but don't join in.

* You take stock of your present life and find some major desired items are lacking -- house, job, relationship, etc.

As a result of thinking that the fulfillment of your greatest desires is an off-limits undertaking, you'll set yourself up for ongoing disappointment. You may find yourself in a pattern of setting out to create what you think you can get instead of what you really want. Think about it. Expending all that effort in pursuit of something you don't even want! No wonder things don't go well! Try this instead:

* It is safe to imagine the life I truly desire.

* It's fun to dream of the things I love!

* If I can imagine it, I can create it.

Self-love trap #3: You feel or act as though you're a victim.

This can be a little hard to hear, because most people don't want to think of themselves as victims. Then again, sometimes we do. After all, if all this stuff was done "to me," then it isn't my fault that things went bad.

Here's the power position. When you acknowledge yourself as part of the creative team that brought you to the place where you stand today, you also empower yourself to create something more to your liking. If these life circumstances sound vaguely familiar, you may be on the brink of a whole new way to embrace life!

* You hear yourself saying or thinking "I didn't have a choice. I was forced into it."

* You expend a lot of energy fighting for the right to be who you are, or to be treated in the way you wish to be treated.

* You use ill health or misfortune as a reason to "guilt" others into helping you.

If some part of you thinks you are powerless, you will always be at odds with the inner truth of the personal power that is your birthright. That conflict can create poverty and ill health. It also makes you highly vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Try on affirmations like these to get you started in the direction of embracing your own creative wisdom:

* I am a marvelous creator of life! I embody peace, harmony, and wisdom.

* Peace and beauty surround me. I am Divinely protected.

* I gently flow on the creative wave of my life, taking each bump and crest as an opportunity to learn and prosper.

It's not necessary to fight to be you. Just be!

Elizabeth Eckert coaxes, cajoles, and gently guides the creation of healing intent. She's the founder of http://www.wordcures.com and author of Word Cures: How to Keep Stupid Excuses From Sabotaging Your Health. Begin your self-talk makeover today - it's simple healthy living.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/?expert=Elizabeth_Eckert

Killer Intuition

The Mechanism Behind Myasthenia

CONSERVING ENERGY IN MYASTHENIA GRAVIS

Two Weeks Later

Treatments for Myasthenia Gravis

What is Myasthenia Gravis (MG)?

Myasthenia Gravis: Frequently Asked Questions

Me and My Dis-Ease: Living with Myasthenia Gravis

Molesting my Molester : Regaining Power

Forgiveness

random [7729] watch whos spirit you swallow

The Four Agreements :

The Four Agreements :

Forgiveness

The Four Agreements :

Message of The Day

random[excrements]

Live In The Moment

Living in the Present

Spiritual Growth Benefits, Tips and Suggestions

Strange Fruit

Color Healing 1 Red

Red

The Power of Positive Attitude

Message of The Day

A NOTE ABOUT EVIL

Message of The Day

Feed Thy Soul

Affirmation of The Day

Message of The Day

Message of The Day

If I Could Write You

Message of The Day

A Mothers Touch

Childhood Memories

A Time for Everything

Ecclesiastes 3

Health Benefits of Honey

Nature’s Energy Booster

Immunity System Builder

Honey Remedy for Ailments

SUN AND MOON

FUNdaMENTAL Questions

the long drawn out explanation of the classic scorpio

don't know how TRUE these are *side eye*

My Seduction

Interbeing -

l|o|v|e -

This Week In Black Beauty

Womban & Nature

DO NOT GO GENTLE INTO THAT GOOD NIGHT

by Dylan Thomas

(27 October 1914 – 9 November 1953)

gathered thoughts

The Seven Rays of the Rainbow

The energy of light

Color vibrations are a source of power, each one having a general as well as a specific function and purpose.

The Trinity of Primary Colors

When blue is in harmony with yellow and red, there is peace and balance in body and mind. From this trinity of primary colors emanate the secondary colors...

Twitter Revelations II:

Twitter Revelations:

black&white

Morning Blessings

Olorun gba Ni.

butterfly kisses

This Week In Black Beauty

Today is good for

repeated

Dear Daddy, Goodbye

thoughts

Ladies and Gents Meet Lorna Simpson

-untitled-

How to Handle Attachment

The 12 Steps of Liberation

Watching your Emotions.

A few Facebbok/Twitter Favs

Ife Franklin QUEEN! Happy Birthday!

Baba Ogunsola Hammond Carter Have to get this in now--you know how my schedule is. . .Happy Eku Adun Lil Sis. Hope this Earthday truly allows you to feel what it is to have a birthday at a time when nature is in transformation Iba Oya!!! Love Peace and light to you!!!

MrOshun -Gold to my precious and beloved Iba haopy bday...much gold in your life.

Kristyn RoyalTy Russell happy birthday godiva...enjoy!

don't know how TRUE these are side eye

BaKojo Sampson E kaaro .... Pele O
Eku Odun my beautiful and gifted sister. I hope this day is peaceful and pleasant for you ... May the depths of your meditation be realized ...
Ela boru Ela Boye Ela Bosise
Odabo

Peter Lora-Duverger ¡ Cumpleaños feliz! ¡Que los cumplan feliz!
¡Que los cumplan feliz!
¡Que los cumplan Iba Oshun.!
¡Que los cumplan feliz!

Jameschico L. Fields a rose I suppose is a nice way to say
you're sending good thoughts to someone today
so to Iba O and her mate, double 'R'
you're sent good thoughts from afar
Happy birthday Ms Oshun!