Self-love trap #1:

Getting stuck in the idea that you're "supposed" to be perfect and know everything

Nobody knows everything. I don't, you don't, your role models don't. Think about it. If you knew everything yourself, you wouldn't have much motivation to bring out the greatness in others, would you? You know ... by allowing them to contribute to you. So even at a social level, it's completely impractical. Watch for these signs that you feel bad about not knowing things:

* You hesitate to ask a question for fear that it will make you sound stupid.

* You hesitate to begin a new project because you suspect you will encounter a step or two that you haven't worked out how to do yet.

* When you do think you know something, you've just gotta jump in and tell everyone -- so they can see that you're not as stupid as you think they thought you were.

As a result clinging to this false belief in your intended perfection, you hold your life back. You stick to the familiar, procrastinating endlessly on new projects so as to not run into situations you don't know how to handle. You rob others ... friends, family, and co-workers ... out of the opportunity to share their own best gifts. Check out these affirmations for embracing natural learning.

* I feel good when others share their gifts of knowledge and understanding with me.

* I love seeing how new projects unfold -- working through each little challenge easily.

* I forgive myself for making mistakes in life, just as I forgive others.

Self-love trap #2: Thinking you're not "allowed" to have what you want.

Most of us encounter limits at some point in our upbringing. It can seem unfair. Yet as an empowered adult, the only real governor on what you're "allowed" to create as your dream world is the set of obstacles you devise yourself. Who knew you were so powerful? This might be you if you find yourself in the following situations:

* You observe someone else having a great success in an area where you feel challenged. Your inside response is "well, that's great for them, but I guess I can't have it."

* Your take on life is that it's a spectator sport. You watch, but don't join in.

* You take stock of your present life and find some major desired items are lacking -- house, job, relationship, etc.

As a result of thinking that the fulfillment of your greatest desires is an off-limits undertaking, you'll set yourself up for ongoing disappointment. You may find yourself in a pattern of setting out to create what you think you can get instead of what you really want. Think about it. Expending all that effort in pursuit of something you don't even want! No wonder things don't go well! Try this instead:

* It is safe to imagine the life I truly desire.

* It's fun to dream of the things I love!

* If I can imagine it, I can create it.

Self-love trap #3: You feel or act as though you're a victim.

This can be a little hard to hear, because most people don't want to think of themselves as victims. Then again, sometimes we do. After all, if all this stuff was done "to me," then it isn't my fault that things went bad.

Here's the power position. When you acknowledge yourself as part of the creative team that brought you to the place where you stand today, you also empower yourself to create something more to your liking. If these life circumstances sound vaguely familiar, you may be on the brink of a whole new way to embrace life!

* You hear yourself saying or thinking "I didn't have a choice. I was forced into it."

* You expend a lot of energy fighting for the right to be who you are, or to be treated in the way you wish to be treated.

* You use ill health or misfortune as a reason to "guilt" others into helping you.

If some part of you thinks you are powerless, you will always be at odds with the inner truth of the personal power that is your birthright. That conflict can create poverty and ill health. It also makes you highly vulnerable to being taken advantage of. Try on affirmations like these to get you started in the direction of embracing your own creative wisdom:

* I am a marvelous creator of life! I embody peace, harmony, and wisdom.

* Peace and beauty surround me. I am Divinely protected.

* I gently flow on the creative wave of my life, taking each bump and crest as an opportunity to learn and prosper.

It's not necessary to fight to be you. Just be!

Elizabeth Eckert coaxes, cajoles, and gently guides the creation of healing intent. She's the founder of http://www.wordcures.com and author of Word Cures: How to Keep Stupid Excuses From Sabotaging Your Health. Begin your self-talk makeover today - it's simple healthy living.

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