Top 10 BET Reasons To Watch vs To Vomit

As you all know, i don't own a t.v.
Which means i don't have cable
But please don't feel bad for me because i pro'ly more sane than YOU will ever be
Moving right along, I was checking out a few blogs on the BlackEvilTelevision Awards and i decided to post the two most important ones here, giving both authors [BET and TazzDaddy] full credit, just putting them in one spot for you to see them all.

And here goes

TO WATCH

1. What else do you have to do? Most people with melanin will be watching the awards. Don’t have cable? “Borrow” from your neighbor or invite yourself over. Do whatever it is you need to do to watch the show.

Disclaimer: I am kidding about stealing cable. I have no bail money for you.

2. Jamie Foxx is hosting. No offense to the strange man from across the pond who hosted last year’s VMAs, but I’ll take Wanda any day over him. Already Jamie has promised his opening monologue will take it back to his days at Def Comedy Jam. Get ready to laugh.

3. Beyonce will be there. Perhaps it’s the stan in me, but I’ve noticed the better editions of the BET Awards have featured Queen Bey shaking her lace front on stage. Be excited.

4. Two words: Halllleeeeee Berrrrrry. If you are from the South or at least not a hater of the southern dance movement, get ready to break out your hand and dance like you’re having an aneurysm because Hurricane Chris will be performing “Halle Berry (She Fine).”

5. Maxwell is performing. Maxwell killed last year, and it’s been so long since we’ve had an R&B vocalist who doesn’t sing in a way that reminds you of Rosie from The Jetsons.

6. Soulja Boy is performing. Now, this doesn’t necessarily tickle my fancy, but I understand he’s all the rage at the playground, so get ready to turn your swag on as the MC Hammer remix takes the stage.

7. Mary Mary are booked to get their praise on during the show. Amen and all that.

8. The O’Jays are being honored for their musical achievements. You know you want to see your mama and ‘nem (yes ‘nem) cut up.

9. Because I said you should watch it. I think I have pretty good judgment. You should trust me.

10. The Michael Jackson tribute. As sad as it is to find out that the King of Pop is now moonwalking in heaven, BET has announced that there will be a tribute for the fallen icon at the beginning of the show. You don’t want to miss the surprises lined up.

TO VOMIT

10. The muth@$#% sound man: How in the world do you leave a night dedicated to (arguably) the greatest musician of the past 40 years up to someone who obviously took a correspondence course and got a D- in turning up microphone volume. Some of these performances sounded incredible to my imagination because I had to strain to hear them.

9. T-Pain: I don't even know where to begin. This reincarnation of Stepin Fetchit not only embarassed all of us by that waste of precious metal he calls his "BIG ASS CHAIN". Yes I know it's his money, but there's a time and a place for everything, and (I know it was BET) this wasn't it. He had a great-looking Michael shirt on that no one could see because it was eclipsed by his coon medallion. Then, to add insult to injury, when accepting an award, this buffoon decided to drink out of a plastic red cup. REALLY?!? How classless.

8. Zoe Saldana: Why in the world would you go out to present an award with the legendary Nichelle Nichols (The Original "Uhura") from Star Trek and embarrass the very legend who paved for you by telling the WORLD that Nichelle is in the restroom? That was so classless and unladylike. Yes Zoe, you can STILL GET IT, but you need some etiquette lessons.

7. Soulja Boy: No I didn't expect him to pay tribute to Michael Jackson, nor did I expect him to be able to SPELL Michael Jackson, but the performance was lackluster at best. Not unlike the Reggins, the use of pyro didn't distract me from how much you sucked.

6. Tiny and Toya: This is why I stopped watching Bamboozled Entertainment Television in the first place. All you have to do to be a success is let a a rapper get you pregnant and you get a reality show? Way to go BET! This is going to set us back 350 years.

5. Frankie and Neffie: See Number 6, except for the fact that instead of having a baby by a rapper, One is the crack addicted mother of a lackluster (although good-looking-in-a-hoodrat-sort-of-way) R&B singer and the other is a sister who is the Black version of Khloe Kardashian - sort of looks like the chick you wanna bang but she got the shallow end of the gene pool! Horrible!

4.The Censors: These idiots couldn't bleep their way out of a wet paper bag! I counted 2 sh*ts and they beeped out h*? SMDH.

3. Debra Lee: The New head of BET is such a pioneer! No one thought that BET could sink any lower than Bob Johnson's level of coonery and you proved us all wrong! Moron! I bet you think you've done something substantial, but you have only managed to embarrass us on an international stage due to the fact that CNN has been covering this abomination!

2.The Pay It Off Show: Another attempt to bamboozle Black people. Whatever you do in BET programming, don't encourage or empower black folks to get out of debt, just have a game show and give false hope to millions! Way to go!

1. Tiny again: You tarnished T.I.'s Viewers Choice Award by accepting it in his honor with ur broken english and off the rack House Of Dereon dress. Again I encourage you to see reason #6.

For Honorable (Vomitable) Mentions please click here ---> What The Fuck

Praise white Jesus for not allowing me to own a television.
But don't be mad black america ITS YOUR FAULT