19 May 2009

myKiller

my killer sneaks up on me
allowing a sense of
panic and fear to
take over my mind
and have me lost
in a world
in my own world
that my killer creates
as dangerous and unsafe
in my own world
of pademonium and dismay
in my own world of
dislike and self hate

my killer leads me to believe
the world is out to get me
and in no direction that i step
is ok
for evil lurks in every corner
and the oppressor is there
waiting
waiting
waiting
on me to
fuck up
or commit this
physhological suicide and
give up

on the what i think i worked hard for
but what others may not think is enough

my killer

takes my breath
sending my cerebral
into an automatic shut down
as though i am being
drowned
by the waves of life
crushed
by a berg of ice
suffocated
by emotions that are no longer
mine
to control

my killer traps me
in this small black box
with just me and my thoughts
with just me and my thoughts
with just me
and
my
thoughts
and the more i think
the more i feel
the need that
i have not done enough in the world
i have not done as i was told
i have not saved enough souls

my killer
makes me cry
myself to sleep
makes me
hate myself when i eat
makes me
wonder wheres my place to be

in this world

my killer
makes me believe that
its only the two of us
my killer