29 June 2009

Top 10 BET Reasons To Watch vs To Vomit

As you all know, i don't own a t.v.
Which means i don't have cable
But please don't feel bad for me because i pro'ly more sane than YOU will ever be
Moving right along, I was checking out a few blogs on the BlackEvilTelevision Awards and i decided to post the two most important ones here, giving both authors [BET and TazzDaddy] full credit, just putting them in one spot for you to see them all.

And here goes

TO WATCH

1. What else do you have to do? Most people with melanin will be watching the awards. Don’t have cable? “Borrow” from your neighbor or invite yourself over. Do whatever it is you need to do to watch the show.

Disclaimer: I am kidding about stealing cable. I have no bail money for you.

2. Jamie Foxx is hosting. No offense to the strange man from across the pond who hosted last year’s VMAs, but I’ll take Wanda any day over him. Already Jamie has promised his opening monologue will take it back to his days at Def Comedy Jam. Get ready to laugh.

3. Beyonce will be there. Perhaps it’s the stan in me, but I’ve noticed the better editions of the BET Awards have featured Queen Bey shaking her lace front on stage. Be excited.

4. Two words: Halllleeeeee Berrrrrry. If you are from the South or at least not a hater of the southern dance movement, get ready to break out your hand and dance like you’re having an aneurysm because Hurricane Chris will be performing “Halle Berry (She Fine).”

5. Maxwell is performing. Maxwell killed last year, and it’s been so long since we’ve had an R&B vocalist who doesn’t sing in a way that reminds you of Rosie from The Jetsons.

6. Soulja Boy is performing. Now, this doesn’t necessarily tickle my fancy, but I understand he’s all the rage at the playground, so get ready to turn your swag on as the MC Hammer remix takes the stage.

7. Mary Mary are booked to get their praise on during the show. Amen and all that.

8. The O’Jays are being honored for their musical achievements. You know you want to see your mama and ‘nem (yes ‘nem) cut up.

9. Because I said you should watch it. I think I have pretty good judgment. You should trust me.

10. The Michael Jackson tribute. As sad as it is to find out that the King of Pop is now moonwalking in heaven, BET has announced that there will be a tribute for the fallen icon at the beginning of the show. You don’t want to miss the surprises lined up.

TO VOMIT

10. The muth@$#% sound man: How in the world do you leave a night dedicated to (arguably) the greatest musician of the past 40 years up to someone who obviously took a correspondence course and got a D- in turning up microphone volume. Some of these performances sounded incredible to my imagination because I had to strain to hear them.

9. T-Pain: I don't even know where to begin. This reincarnation of Stepin Fetchit not only embarassed all of us by that waste of precious metal he calls his "BIG ASS CHAIN". Yes I know it's his money, but there's a time and a place for everything, and (I know it was BET) this wasn't it. He had a great-looking Michael shirt on that no one could see because it was eclipsed by his coon medallion. Then, to add insult to injury, when accepting an award, this buffoon decided to drink out of a plastic red cup. REALLY?!? How classless.

8. Zoe Saldana: Why in the world would you go out to present an award with the legendary Nichelle Nichols (The Original "Uhura") from Star Trek and embarrass the very legend who paved for you by telling the WORLD that Nichelle is in the restroom? That was so classless and unladylike. Yes Zoe, you can STILL GET IT, but you need some etiquette lessons.

7. Soulja Boy: No I didn't expect him to pay tribute to Michael Jackson, nor did I expect him to be able to SPELL Michael Jackson, but the performance was lackluster at best. Not unlike the Reggins, the use of pyro didn't distract me from how much you sucked.

6. Tiny and Toya: This is why I stopped watching Bamboozled Entertainment Television in the first place. All you have to do to be a success is let a a rapper get you pregnant and you get a reality show? Way to go BET! This is going to set us back 350 years.

5. Frankie and Neffie: See Number 6, except for the fact that instead of having a baby by a rapper, One is the crack addicted mother of a lackluster (although good-looking-in-a-hoodrat-sort-of-way) R&B singer and the other is a sister who is the Black version of Khloe Kardashian - sort of looks like the chick you wanna bang but she got the shallow end of the gene pool! Horrible!

4.The Censors: These idiots couldn't bleep their way out of a wet paper bag! I counted 2 sh*ts and they beeped out h*? SMDH.

3. Debra Lee: The New head of BET is such a pioneer! No one thought that BET could sink any lower than Bob Johnson's level of coonery and you proved us all wrong! Moron! I bet you think you've done something substantial, but you have only managed to embarrass us on an international stage due to the fact that CNN has been covering this abomination!

2.The Pay It Off Show: Another attempt to bamboozle Black people. Whatever you do in BET programming, don't encourage or empower black folks to get out of debt, just have a game show and give false hope to millions! Way to go!

1. Tiny again: You tarnished T.I.'s Viewers Choice Award by accepting it in his honor with ur broken english and off the rack House Of Dereon dress. Again I encourage you to see reason #6.



For Honorable (Vomitable) Mentions please click here ---> What The Fuck

Praise white Jesus for not allowing me to own a television.
But don't be mad black america ITS YOUR FAULT

stressed? let's have sex

so
i think i have found the problem to solve stress issues..
wait for it
___wait for it
______wait for it
SEX
yes.
sex.
but not just any old type of sex.
good ol' makeyoucallouteverygodineverylanguagewhileyousweatouteveryliquidyoueverhadinyou type sex. and yes #idoesthat.

i can not and will not allow myself to stress over anything. especially if i can help it. and ESPECIALLY if sex is the WAY i help it.

i'm just saying. No to Stress Yes to Sex
and i have some info to back me up:

  • Good Mood and Good Sex
    The same study found that being in a good mood predicted more physical affection and sexual activity with a partner the next day, showing that the sex-stress management connection works both ways: sex can lead you to feel less stressed, and being less stressed (or at least in a better mood) can lead to more sex. Further proof of the importance of effective stress management! (Read this article for more links to stress and low libido.)

  • Sex and Blood Pressure
    Another study examined participants’ blood pressure as a measure of their stress responses during public speaking or challenging math problems—situations that often elicit stress. It was found that those who had recently had intercourse tended to have either lower baseline blood pressures, less of a blood pressure rise during stressful events, or both. These findings suggest that having sex can lead to less of a stress response during challenging situations, which is a good thing.

  • Sex and Stress Response
    Along those lines, another study looked at women’s heart rate and cortisol levels as a measure of stress response, and found that women exhibited less of a stress response after ‘positive physical contact’ with a partner. Emotional support alone didn’t have the same effect.

  • Orgasm and Health
    Orgasm itself has many benefits for health and stress relief. About.com’s Sexuality Site has more information on the benefits of orgasm.
Aside from these scientific findings, sex has some obvious stress management components. In addition to effectively taking your mind off of your worries for a decent period of time, sex provides some of these other stress management benefits:

  • Deep Breathing: This deep, relaxed type of breathing relaxes your body, oxygenates your blood and reduces the stress you feel.

  • Sense of Touch: Studies show that massage can be a great stress reliever. In fact, we need touch for our emotional health; studies also show that babies who are not touched enough can fail to thrive, and touch continues to be important into adulthood.

  • Social Support: People who have a supportive social outlet tend to manage stress better, live longer, and enjoy increased overall health. The type of emotional intimacy that sex can help supply is good for you!

  • Endorphins: Sexual activity releases endorphins and other feel-good hormones.

  • Physical Workout: Depending on your level of enthusiasm, you can burn a lot of calories during sex, and gain the stress management benefits of exercise as well.




WHAT? YOUR TOO STRESSED TO SEX?

Here's How:

  1. Eat a Healthy Diet. What you put into your body can make you feel energized and light, or sluggish and stressed. A healthy, balanced diet with plenty of vegetables, protein and whole foods can actually reduce your stress level, increase your energy, and help your body look and feel better. This will go a long way toward getting you in the mood.
  2. Exercise. You may think you’re too busy or tired to exercise, but exercise can actually give you more energy, and even 20 minutes three times a week can make a difference in your energy level and overall health. You can pilates while you watch T.V., or skip the television altogether and go for a walk. Either way, your body will feel more energized, you’ll have more positive hormones flowing in your blood, and you’ll be happier with your body. These are definite turn-ons.
  3. Reduce Obligations In Your Life. If you get organized, prioritize only important commitments in your life and say no to other activities that take up your time, you can reduce the overall level of stress you experience in your life, and you’ll have more time and energy on your hands and will be less stressed. This all contributes to a healthy libido.
  4. Find Help. I don’t (necessarily) mean therapy, but if you can hire people to do things that take up time and energy in your life, like cleaning your house and doing busywork, you’ll also have less to stress about. It might be more expensive in the short run, but you’ll most likely be more productive in the long run, which will offset the cost, and you can spend your time on the things in life you enjoy, like sex!
  5. Get Enough Sleep. Sleep deprivation can wreak havoc on your entire system and make you feel more stressed. If you can’t get enough sleep at night, you might try a power nap to achieve some of the same benefits. This could help you have more energy for nighttime activities.
  6. Use Stress Relievers. If you have a regular practice of one or a few stress-relieving activities like meditation or yoga, you can reduce the stress and tension you feel in your body and mind throughout the day. Having some of the weight of tension lifted, you’ll feel freer and more able to express yourself sexually.
  7. Have A Good Laugh. It’s often said that laughter is the shortest distance between two people. Laughter is also an excellent stress reliever and delivers great benefits to your body and soul. Try to unwind with a funny t.v. show or book, or make it a point to share some laughs with the one you love.
  8. Get Connected. Sometimes when we’re stressed and busy (especially after a new baby or other major change), it can cause us to feel more detached in our relationships. If you make it a point to find time for emotionally nurturing conversations, you’ll feel more connected and most likely more amorous with your partner. Also, if you talk about what stresses you and get it off your chest, you won’t be burdened by the excess stress your problems bring, and you’ll feel closer to your partner. Unresolved relationship issues can lead to low libido.
  9. Set The Mood. Music, aromatherapy, and a soothing environment can all help set the tone for relaxation and romance. A little preparation can yield some great results!
  10. Start Slow. You might want to start by trading massages, which can really loosen you and your partner up and release pent-up tension while helping you feel more connected. Then see where things lead...

Tips:

  1. It may take a while for "that lovin' feelin' " to come back. Be patient with yourself, and let things progress naturally.
  2. Remember that romance, physical connection and even playfulness are also important in a relationship, and all help lead to a stronger sexual relationship. Conversely, sex in the context of a bad relationship (or no relationship) won't necessarily make you feel better, and could actually create more stress. That's not what I'm recommending!
  3. If you try these suggestions and still find yourself with a low libido, you may be suffering from an undiagnosed health problem or perhaps be dealing with some emotional 'stuff' or relationship issues. Don't be afraid to talk to your doctor or a couples counselor, who can help with these issues.


Ok kids, now go have sex.
And make sure its SAFE SEX








so YOU wanna date a scorpio woman?

was being nosey and almost thought i was near the end of the internet when i stumbled upon this article, have to admit, i learned somethings myself...


How to Make a Scorpio Female Fall in Love With You

By eHow Relationships & Family Editor
Rate: (11 Ratings)
There are many things that will attract a Scorpio woman. To get her love, it is necessary to understand her powerful temperament and her physical needs. It may not be easy to win the love of a Scorpio woman, but it's well worth the effort.



Instructions Difficulty: Moderately Challenging
  1. Step 1

    Be physical. Scorpio women are very physically-driven people. Not only do they have a strong sex drive, they like to sit close and be in physical contact.

  2. Step 2

    Buy nice gifts. Scorpio women appreciate diamonds and gold jewelry. Though they appreciate expensive luxury items, those can't take the place of treating her well. Scorpio women will not love someone who is not dedicated to them and does not treat them fairly. They look for fidelity and honesty in a potential love interest.

  3. Step 3

    Tell the truth. Scorpios are notorious for being able to tell when someone is lying, and they always want to hear the truth. If you start lying to your Scorpio woman, she is likely to drop you for someone she is better able to trust. If you give her a compliment, make it one that you sincerely believe.

  4. Step 4

    Pay attention to her. Scorpios need a lot of attention, and they will get jealous and upset if you pay more attention to anyone else. Keep eye contact and stay in the conversation so that she feels she is getting enough of your attention.

  5. Step 5

    Keep yourself clean and arrive on time and wearing black. Scorpio women appreciate cleanliness and punctuality. They are also drawn to black.




do you agree? send me an email so i can post your responses
blogs@ poethicsoul.com